7 Introvert Basics to Help Maintain your Long-Term Introvert-Extrovert Relationship
From an introvert in an introvert-extrovert relationship.
Most extroverts find it challenging to maintain intimate relationships with introverts.
Introverts and extroverts belong to two opposite sides of the spectrum. For this reason, they have many differences; the most common one being their social lives.
There are two main reasons why most introvert-extrovert relationships have a short life span.
One is because one tries to change the other into who they are more comfortable with and the second is one tries to change for the other to create a better sense of compatibility.
Part of being in love is being comfortable with ourselves and understanding our partners, accepting them as they are without trying to change who they are.
Unfortunately, with the rise in popularity of the perspective of an ideal relationship, most people try to change others so they can fit into their version of the ideal partner.
Introvert-extrovert relationships can work with equal amounts of effort exerted from either side.
They are the perfect definition of yin and yang: not necessarily a bad thing.
If you are an extrovert, below are basic things you need to know about an introvert if you are planning to start a long-term meaningful relationship with them.
1. We take our time
With everything, so patience will come in handy.
We are going to take time to know more about you than meets the eye, we are going to take our time in deciding whether to go out with you and even a longer time the second time, and we will take our time in letting you get to know us.
We are not spontaneous or impulsive [most of the time].
We need to get used to an idea before we get comfortable with it. We need to know as much as we can about you before we become comfortable with you.
By doing this, we also determine your intentions.
We take our time. If you are patient and have good intentions towards us, we’ll learn to lower our guard in your presence.
2. We need our alone time
You’ll do good to not take that away from us.
We need solitude. It’s how we recharge after a stressful day, a social occasion, or just a normal day of work/school.
You’ll do good for the relationship by letting us enjoy our alone time.
Fact: We are no good when we are mentally exhausted. We are mentally absent and may even turn cranky.
Respect our solitude havens.
3. We are great observers
We notice little details that most people do not.
Sorry (not sorry) to break it to you but we can see your face twitch when you tell a lie.
On to better news, we can also notice when your pupils dilate or when you try to hide that bulge after the third date.
We notice the peeking dirt from under the rag when we visit you. Cute attempt!
4. We are intuitive
And we trust and often follow our intuitions.
We know when your mood shifts. We can tell you’re worried even when you put on a brave face and claim you’re okay.
We can tell when you’re not being honest with us or open with us. We probably won’t do anything about it, but we feel the sting.
5. We dislike confrontations
It sucks that they are unavoidable.
They are part of long-term open relationships but we wish there was a way around them. We know it’s unhealthy to avoid them, so we don’t.
We’ll do our best but if you feel like we are not giving our best, please give us a little more time.
6. We need time to process things
Please don’t rush us.
We need time to process our feelings and evaluate emotions in all kinds of situations from orgasms to tragedies.
We only ask that you be patient with us. Don’t rush our decision-making process, we’ll soon get there and thanks to our intuition it will 9/10 be the best one for us.
7. We don’t need to change
We don’t need to lighten up or be livelier.
Good luck with a second date if you comment that to your introvert date.
We are different people; we are not meant to enjoy the same things.
Do not call us boring girlfriends, do not try to brighten our lives, and for crying out loud do not enforce your fun ways on us. We are going to leave faster than we came.
So you consider our fun activities boring, we cannot and will not try to keep up with the never-ending buzz of a different social life.
As fore mentioned, introverts and extroverts belong to opposite sides of a spectrum.
An equal effort from partners involved means finding a middle ground for your relationship to work.
Compromise will come a long way in maintaining a long-term intimate relationship.
Couples need to spend time together to nurture their relationship. Lack of common interest does not mean the relationship is impossible.
Engage in your partner’s interests as much as they do in yours to create a perfect social balance for your relationships.
Respect each other preferences as well, whether you understand them or not.
You’ve got the basics, go get that introvert boy/girl!
Read my article on ideal locations for your first date with an introvert here:
