Marketers want to get in your pants
Well, into you phone anyway…
But it’s not that simple. Phones aren’t just “phones” for the telemarketers of old to call you up on and interrupt your dinner. These are portals into our personal lives. Our constant connection to our friends, to our families, to our every curiosity and desire. Our auxiliary brains — leaving patterns, when taken away, similar to a breakup from a long-term relationship (or brain damage) on fMRIs.
Our phones are an extension of us, and they are infested.
You have 5 new messages.
I remember when you’d have no idea if someone had called you until you got home and checked the answering machine. That heady moment after a whole day out-and-about and then returning to see a button either flashing …or dark.
I know, I know, there’s no going back. But there is something called “consent” that’s a pretty big deal in daily life, and that’s part of what’s missing in Marketing.
Granted, people have a hard time wrapping their heads around Consent in daily life too, so here’s a quick little video just to get you up to speed:
Got that?
Great.
SEND ALL OF THE THINGS
Because consent is the difference between eager-and-attentive and stalker.
This started as a little piece I wrote over on Medium: “Dear Brand, your dating game needs work” — I probably should have just out and said “sucks” but I was feeling nice.
The fact of it is, all the hard work that the Advertising team — or whatever they call themselves these days — has done to make your brand awesome, you are ruining. They’ve done the equivalent of creating the ultimate OkCupid profile — which hopefully is an actual reflection of the reality that your Product teams have created — making your brand look charming, funny, attractive, smart.
Now you, the Marketer, take over.
“Hey babe, I can really see myself in your pants”
Social ads to retarget first-time-buyers? Sure.
Geofencing with SMS proximity alerts? Awesome.
Daily-deal emails to keep them active customers? Great.
Push notifications with ‘trend’ info to stay top-of-mind? Rad.
No.
Marketing is like the creep at the bar who just won’t give up. When one pickup line flops, he just tries another …and another, and another, and another.
Don’t be the creep at the bar.
Marketers have the power to seriously screw up a brand relationship. They can take a brand from trusted best friend to creep in a few unthinking clicks.
What’s more, with all the data at your disposal, oh Marketer, it’s not just “creep” but “creepy stalker.” You’re not just the creep at the bar, you’re the creep at the bar who follows that woman home, and then calls her phone every hour, sends her emails, starts posting on her Facebook profile and FB messages all her friends.
Does that make the situation a bit more clear?
Talk Human To Me
People want to love the brands they love. They do still open emails. But no matter how hard you try, there is going to be a maximum purchase point where they just don’t need anymore of what you’re trying to sell. So you’re going to have to give them some space. Maybe it really is just that you can’t calculate your “customer lifecycle.”
Either way, get your hand off that big red SEND button.
A big scattershot and a lot of hope — and some genuine creativity — is not how to do your Marketing. That’s a big waste of money, as well as time — hooray for automation (and thank god there’s only so much that can be automated so far)!
It also forgets about this thing that was really popular back around 10 years ago: The Path to Purchase.
Notice it’s not “Customer Journey?” That’s because it’s people, humans, not “customers” who are on this path. And no, it’s not a nice straight line from “first impression” through to “purchase.” It’s a lot more complicated, and terrifyingly enough, some of the stops along the way aren’t clicks, so there’s still no way to measure them.
Yup. Billboards and bus stop ads do still exist and the are still doing something.
Socks Aren’t Toilet Paper
This is getting long winded so let me just close things out to put it all back in perspective.
When was the last time you forgot about everything else, just dropped it all, to go on an all consuming quest for some product?
Ok, maybe for toilet paper. Especially if you’ve ever had roommates. But that’s not really what we’re talking about here.
Let’s take socks.
I had some nice socks — first time buyer — and I’ve worn them forever — user –and now they’re old with some serious holes in them — repurchase cycle — and I realize that I really need to go buy some more of those socks — brand loyalist.
This is when, oh Marketer, it would be absolutely great if you sent me an email about socks! Hey, you could even send me a FB ad with a “two-for-one” deal — get it? a pair of socks? — and I’d probably be delighted.
I also might not notice.
You’re just going to have to be ok with that.
This is ‘Part 2’ of my personal tirade against bad marketing, following The Mythical Customer Journey.
Alexis is the Principal of AgentFin Consulting providing UX Research, Experience Design, and Brand Strategy to clients large and small. She spends her days telling the stories of users to help companies crack the code of everything from Marketing Automation to Product Innovation… while making sure clients aren’t pissing off the people who genuinely want to love their brand.
She writes and speaks on the topics of “Responsive Content,” User Experience, and Women in Tech [that’s Feminism by the way].
She also makes ceramics and jewelry from her studio in the Fruitvale neighborhood of Oakland, CA.
You can find her as either Alexis Finch or AgentFin everywhere.
