Celebrating our girls’ achievements
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate — Oprah Winfrey
Finally, the evening I was looking for! The one in which we camp in the middle of our living room, with the laminating device plugged in, drawings and diplomas ready.
Last night, we were making time and space to celebrate achievements. And when I say achievements, I mean small wins in my #STEAMgirl’s life: the few diplomas she received so far as well as her best (self-selected) artwork.
Exactly eleven years ago, I remember my #FlyGirl had a folder full of diplomas for finishing ballet classes, for math or Romanian language competitions, a small, but important collection in the life of a primary school graduate.
My #STEAMGirl is studying in a school that does not encourage competitions, and only rarely organises contests or issues diplomas. On the one side, I get it, on the other side, I know some children can really feel more motivated to study and prepare with a deadline (which competition is!) in sight.
Competitions can work in our girls’ favour
Studies show that boys going through the chills of math competitions saw their scores increase whereas girls who have been under-assessed saw their scores decline in national math competitions. This may trickle away their chances to study STEAM.
But no, our diplomas are not from math competitions and we do not even have an obsession with diplomas. I just wanted us to have fun observing how thin sheets of plastic bind under heat and proudly stick the small token of success on the wall.
One level deeper, our fun activity also tells my #STEAMgirl that her achievements do not pass unnoticed, that her artwork and results make us proud and that we expect her to succeed.
It might sound tough and demanding, yet not at all if completed with this additional message: “We expect you to succeed in all your endeavours and we support you all the way to it.”
Many grown-up women now remember their hands-off parents were showing no expectations. It sounded to them as if their parents did not believe they were capable and they did not show any premises of success.
A balanced attitude is everything
Amy Morin, author of 13 Things Strong Women Do Not Do warns: The emphasis on achievement also plays into self-doubt. It sounds inspiring to tell girls that they can be anything they want, but unless we tell them how to deal with mistakes, failures, and setbacks, we’re not giving them the skills they need to succeed.
So yes, go through the folders and drawers, pull out the few diplomas your girl received so far and put them up on the wall. Celebrate with her these small achievements, grow trust in her power to achieve and overcome defeats and tell her you will support her all the way.
As always, happy to hear your thoughts.
Stay in touch, Alex
