Ask Me Anything: My Experiences of Transmisogyny

[Content Warning: Abuse of trans women.]

The following is based on my answer to this Quora question: What is the worst discrimination you have experienced as a transgender woman? My personal experiences follow the discussion.

I am fortunate in that I’ve not personally experienced trans-related discrimination since my transition, several decades ago. What I come up against these days is common variety sexism and misogyny.

I should also note that I have been fortunate with respect to privileges of race, class, ability, and cisnormative standards of beauty, so I’ve missed out on discrimination related to those factors. It is probably safe to say that many, perhaps most, trans women suffer more of these intersections than I have.

All that said, I’ll speak to my experience, as a trans woman, during my transition, in 1989. (There, that should be enough caveats. :-)

There are different and intersecting kinds of discrimination to which identifiable trans women are subject, the major classes of which are transantagonism/transphobia* and misogyny. I’ll break out misogyny into sexism, sexual harassment and assault, and body-policing. These latter are experiences common to all women in our culture, and include such extensively discussed things as truncated career opportunities, disrespect of opinions, policing of dress and appearance, rape culture, &c. As a woman, in solidarity with pretty much all women, I have experienced each of these.

Transmisogyny is the intersection of transphobia with misogyny, and is a special treat reserved for identifiably transfeminine persons (that is, trans women, and trans and gender non-conforming people who do not identify as women, but who present feminine characteristics). Because I am cisnormative and ‘pass as cis’, I am able to separate out transmisogyny from generic misogyny, but as a once-identifiable trans woman, I cannot tease out transmisogyny specifically from transantagonism generally, so I will only discuss transmisogyny.

I recommend Laura Kacere’s short article Transmisogyny 101. Here is an excerpt:

Transmisogyny…is the confluence of [transphobia and misogyny] — the negative attitudes, expressed through cultural hate, individual and state violence, and discrimination directed toward trans women and trans and gender non-conforming people on the feminine end of the gender spectrum.

Our society is steeped in the notion that women and characteristics coded as feminine are inferior to men and those qualities coded as masculine. In our sexist society, being a woman automatically places you in a position of less value. But to give up one’s “important” position as a man…poses a fundamental threat to male superiority and may be seen as a rejection of the “superior male identity.”

Trans women are not only a reminder to society that gender categories are not fixed, but also that womanhood and feminine gender expression is not something to be ashamed of.

…the resulting oppression is parallel to what cisgender…women face: physical objectification, over-sexualization, stereotyping, policing of bodies, discrimination on all levels of society, and individual and systemic acts of violence.

To which I would add that many men seem to react in a visceral, sometimes violent way to the changes some of us make to our bodies — as if these were somehow a personal, physical threat to their own masculinity — projecting and acting out their discomfort upon us.

So, what is the worst discrimination I have experienced as a trans woman? During my transition there were a number of ‘worsts’ —

• I wrote to my father, carefully explaining my condition and that I would be transitioning. I got a brief note back informing me that I was mentally ill and proposing to mutilate myself, and as such he would take no part. In his words, ‘don’t call, don’t write’. (And I haven’t.)
• There was a year-long and very costly legal battle to remove my child from me, in which my (noncustodial) ex, my father, the solicitors, and the judges colluded to admit unsworn, inadmissible evidence and exclude properly sworn, admissible evidence — including the evaluations ordered by the court itself, which supported my position. This occurred both in the original trial (which I lost) and in the appeal (which I was about to lose when, unexpectedly, my ex withdrew the suit — the judge was furious, as he wanted very badly to rule against me).
• During this year I came under attack from agents of the solicitors deliberately acting to compromise me in my private life.
• For the duration of these trials, my young child was, in fact, removed from my care; causing long-term harm which, I believe, persists to this day.
• Prior to transition, when I was apparently-male, I was in an important position with a fast-rising career. As I described in another story, I was able to transition in-place, due to my key position in a critical project. Upon completion of this project, I was transferred underneath the supervision of a man far junior to me, whom I had, in fact, hired. I was then given no meaningful assignments, and it was only a matter of time until I would be discharged as redundant. So I quit.
  In looking at other women in the company, this may have been transphobia, or may have been misogyny, plain and simple. Probably both.
• I was not allowed to pee at work.
• I was refused emergency treatment at a major medical centre in a major western city. I had a urethral blockage and had been unable to urinate in two days. Without so much as examining me, they said they couldn’t help ‘people like me’ and showed me the door, effectively leaving me to die.
• I used to frequent a local restaurant, owned by a friend. This friend knew I was transitioning and was, apparently, supportive. Once, well after I was ‘passing’, I used the ladies’ room, and she was waiting for me as I came out. I was asked to leave the restaurant and not return.
• Before I acquired passing privilege there were a couple incidents where I was cornered by small gangs of young men and assaulted verbally and physically. I was lucky (and quick on my feet), so did not come to serious harm.
  But then again, I later had a couple similar incidents as an attractive young woman, though the flavour of those assaults was somewhat…different. I guess you might say that my early experience as a trans woman prepared me rather well for life as a woman.

Thank you for asking,
❤ Allison

*Transphobia vs transantagonism: The commonly used term transphobia means ‘fear of trans’, which is not really correct. Whilst fear of some kind may factor, people don’t fear us so much as hate us. ‘Hate of trans’ would be transantagonism. And no one is more universally hated than a trans woman. Usually, we hide, if we can.

Further reading: Transmisogyny @ Social Justice Wiki

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