Ame’s Hammy Jamming — January, 2023
Last month, I promised an ongoing series of silly progress reports, and I intend to make good on that promise.
Welcome to the January edition of “Ame’s Hammy Jamming!”
To recap, I am Ame — or Amethysta, if you prefer. I am a ham, although not the way Scout was in Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird. My brand of ham is vegetarian: composed of bad puns, cheap jokes, and non sequiturs. In other words, I’m jamming at a keyboard here. A laptop keyboard, not a…you get the point.
Name change (nearly) complete!
The first item to report is my name change, which is dang near finished. I wrote an article about filing for a court-ordered name change in November. My final item of name change business — the very last card in my wallet that has that old name on it — is a credit card. I figured that would be easy to change.
I was wrong.
After long searching on the internet, Reddit told me I must call the company first. Customer Service told me to wait for a letter with further instructions, but could not tell me what “further instructions” might entail, as if we existed in a strange financial Spy vs. Spy episode. When the letter arrived, I admit I was relieved not to find a black sphere with a hissing fuse poking out the top.
Inside, however, was a bomb asking me to complete a document — including my Social Security Number — then sign it and mail it back to the bank.
Listen, I’m a dingbat. I admit it. Some days I relish it. But even I’m not going to put my Social Security Number in the mail. I may not have a lot of sense, but I have more sense than that.
So I went to the bank and met whom I believe is The Only Queer Banker in Town. When I walked in, he spotted me immediately. (Perhaps I stand out?) I showed him the letter, and he took care of everything. I just sat there and looked as pretty as I could. He called me Amethysta or “ma’am” and referred to me as “she” and “her” when he called the credit card department. When we were finished, he thanked me and shook my hand — gently.
Jeffery, I doubt you will ever see this article. But you made an old lady very happy. (Or should that be a new lady…? Meh, I’ll figure that out later.)
The last barrier to my name change should be in the mail!
Loads of new friends
As I considered what topics to add to this progress report, I worried that reporting I made new friends would sound a bit…pitiful? I don’t have that much difficulty making new friends.
Seriously.
Mostly.
I would, however, be remiss if I did not mention the people who made the past month much more rewarding. I met almost all of them on the Transcurrent Explorers Discord server. To all of you, your private conversation has been inspiring. Your public conversation has been hilarious. My life is enriched knowing each of you. Thank you for helping me through some difficult times.
In no particular order, thank you to the following friends:
Jenny Starr✨, Lark Tucker, Shannara, Saoirse of the Searing Nips, Nicole B, Tara (Byte), Tina Lynn, Emily C VanderWeide, Bunny, Jack L,
…and in the center square, Paul Lynde! No, wait, I mean Kitty Whitemore!
All of you are amazing. Thank you for being in my life!
My Transgender Half-Birthday
Today — January 7, 2023 — is six months since I applied my very first estrogen patch. Yes, ladies, enbies, and gentlemen (and the rest of you on Medium), today is my Transgender Half-Birthday! I would ask for jam. The image above was even jam. But the rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday — never jam today.
Instead, I did two things to celebrate. Today I went to the young lady who tamed my eyebrows in December. She was so supportive and caring the first time, I honestly was looking forward to going back, despite the tweezing, which hurts like a…well, a lot.
Emily not only remembered me, but was glad to see me on her schedule. She took fabulous care of me, including giving me a few makeup tips! Emily — I hope I can find a way to get you a link to this article. Like Jeffery above, you make me feel validated and whole, even when you’re plucking my eyebrows. Thank you, Emily. You made a friend for life!
Amethysta’s Purpleheart Club Band
Yesterday, however…yesterday was a major milestone for me. I dyed my hair when I was 24, and kept it up almost twenty years. But it has always been black. There were a few exceptions — before I went gothic, I tried two Manic Panic colors. There is one existing photo that I know of from those days, and I’m not looking for it.
However, I have never lightened my hair. Until yesterday. I met Amanda earlier this week. No kidding, I spent an hour and a half talking to her. Aside from me never shutting up, Amanda plays off it with aplomb. Amanda bills herself as a “Queer and Gender-Inclusive Hair Stylist.” She did me right.
Below is a photo of my new hair. It is silver with purple highlights. I’ve said it at least a few times, but I cried when I saw it. Amanda certainly didn’t help matters by murmuring the caption.
A silly poem snapped into my head as I drove home from the salon. I thought I would refer to myself as “Purpleheart,” for my highlights and as a callback to one of my early articles. It struck me that I’d been waiting for Amethysta to come back into my life for an inordinate amount of time — something like 20 years since I last truly considered transition. Unfortunately for The Beatles, that inspired this rather weak composition…
I link Jimi Hendrix’s version of the song, because it seems more appropriate:
It was twenty years ago today,
Amethysta had been locked away.
She’d been hovering behind a smile,
With the patience of an Inner Child.
So may I introduce to you…?
The Girl you’ve known for all these years?
Amethysta’s
Purpleheart
Club
BAAAAAAAND!
To John, Paul, George, Ringo, Jimi — and all of you — I promise to keep my day job.
Until next month!
