Ready to Dive Deep? Connection in a Conscious Community
Meeting the conscious community, I finally found people who want to connect at my pace.
All humans have an innate need for connection with others. However, what connection truly means to us and the speed at which we feel comfortable connecting with each other, especially with strangers, varies greatly.
Having spent my formative years in Scandinavia, a place characterized by its more reserved approach to interpersonal relationships, I’ve recently ventured into a completely different world — the conscious community. Here, I’ve been impressed by the striking contrast in the pace and depth of connections. I’m excited to share my observations and experiences concerning the art of connection within the conscious community with you.
We are Open, Kind and Naturally Curious About Each Other
It’s remarkably easy to make eye contact with people you meet and be greeted with a warm smile. Striking up conversations with those in line with you is the norm, and walking up and introducing yourself to strangers is perfectly acceptable. Simultaneously, it’s entirely fine to respond with, ‘Hi, thanks for asking, but I’m not in the mood for a conversation right now.’
When We Ask ‘How Are You?’ We Expect a Genuine Response
This question is never answered with a simple ‘Fine, how are you?’. Here, you’re expected to share something a bit deeper, more substantial, or more real. Simultaneously, we understand that we’re not here to fix each other’s feelings. It took me some time to grasp this concept initially. In this community, one person might feel energized after a dance session, another might be experiencing sadness, and a third person might be overwhelmed by stimuli on that particular day. And that’s perfectly acceptable. We don’t need to synchronize our emotions to connect. We ask to make the other person feel seen, not to provide a solution.
We Dive Straight into Deep Conversations
Small talk is a rarity at our gatherings. I might not know where people live or what jobs they have, but I do know what they’re currently working on with their therapist or what insights they’ve gained about their worldview from a book they’re reading. Additionally, if you spontaneously join a conversation between two or three people you don’t know, we won’t change the topic to accommodate you; we’ll simply let you know what we’re discussing and invite you to listen in and contribute.
We Enjoy Being Workshopped and Connecting Through Play
Although we’re more open to connecting with each other, we still value guidance. At the end of the day, we’re all just humans who can be a bit awkward. Have you ever noticed how a well-designed workshop can reveal entirely new facets of yourself? For me, this is the magic of facilitation. When you enter a workshop, you step into a parallel world with different rules for a little while, and this can significantly aid in connecting with yourself and others. In the conscious community, we have a particular fondness for connecting through movement and touch, utilizing practices like contact improvisation, tantra, and dance, as well as through conversation, using techniques like sharing circles, ceremonies and authentic relating games.
We Don’t Rely on Alcohol for Connection, But We Still Get High
In general, gatherings within the conscious community remain sober, free from alcohol or drugs. My upbringing in Scandinavia taught me to connect with peers through alcohol, starting as early as 14 years old. While I’ve had both positive and negative experiences with alcohol-centered gatherings, I now greatly appreciate the alcohol-free atmosphere. While alcohol may make it easier for us to relax and connect, it can also impair our awareness of boundaries and the needs of those around us, potentially making gatherings less safe. In the conscious community, we experience highs from the music, from dancing and from the connections and intimacy forged in workshops (and occasionally from psychedelics, but that’s a topic for another time).
Celebrating Quick Connection in the Conscious Community
In a nutshell, I’ve always been someone who likes to make fast connections with people, even though that’s not the norm, especially in my home in Scandinavia. We’ve got to respect that not everyone is ready for deep connections right away. Connection should never be forced upon anyone who isn’t ready for it. But for people like me, this protective norm at gatherings can leave us wanting more.
That’s where the conscious community comes in. It’s like a magnet for people who share my need for quick connections. Sure, it can be a bit overwhelming and demands some emotional and people skills. But it’s a place where my desire for deep connections is not only okay but celebrated!
Are you curious to learn more about the conscious community? I invite you to also read my articles on on the definition, healing, struggles and surprising practices in the conscious community. And my article on why I can’t imagine living permanently in a conscious community.
Disclaimer: I use the language of ‘we’, but obviously, these observations are only based on my own experiences. Ask someone else in the community and they probably will both agree and disagree with some of my observations. Ask me in a year — and my own perspective will probably have changed too!
