Politeness without pretending: 10 signs
Politeness is more than the ability to hold back when you just want to be rude to someone. A truly polite person has a number of qualities that distinguish him or her from the crowd and make a favorable impression on others. No wonder Aristippus of Cyrene devoted a separate guideline to this topic in the moral and philosophical Code.
Guideline IV: be polite and respect personal dignity of others.
It may sound simple, but this short phrase implies a whole system of values and behavioral habits.
What is the true respect for others? Etiquette experts identify 10 principles that genuinely polite people follow.
1. Always say “thank you” and “please”
Parents teach kids to do this from childhood, but with age we often forget this rule. The phrases “thank you” and “please” are necessary to keep the culture of communication at a high level. If people exclude these words from the everyday vocabulary, there will be less mutual respect, trust and friendliness in society.
2. Don’t touch other people without their consent
It is considered impolite to touch someone or violate someone’s personal space without prior permission. For example, not everyone likes to be suddenly tapped on the shoulder. An exception is the handshake, when both parties wish to greet each other.
3. Be willing to admit when you’re wrong
Polite people will not stubbornly defend their position if they know that they have made a mistake. They will take responsibility for the blunder and will try to remedy the situation. “Some people don’t like to admit when they are wrong but instead of making them look smart, it makes them seem arrogant and ignorant,” says Bonnie Tsai, etiquette expert.
4. Don’t ask personal questions
Questions relating to family and personal life often cause a negative reaction. If you don’t know the person well enough or feel that they are not ready to talk about such topics, it is better not to intrude.
5. Show care
Polite people try to provide maximum comfort to those with whom they communicate. Every little thing matters here. A glass of water or a notepad offered on time — such caring attitude improves mutual understanding and helps to establish contact faster.
6. Do not interrupt the interlocutor
Any person will be pleased if people listen to him or her without interruptions. Even if the interlocutor’s words seem absolutely ridiculous, wait until he or she finishes to formulate their thoughts and only then put forward your counterarguments.
7. Watch yourself while talking
The interlocutor will quickly recognize insincerity if your words say one thing and the body another. For example, you are having a conversation with a person, while yawning and being glued to your phone. These signals will be taken as a lack of interest or a show of disrespect. It is important to maintain eye contact with the interlocutor, to confirm involvement in the dialogue with gestures and facial expressions.
8. Express disagreement without unnecessary emotions
Do you disagree with someone? This can be stated calmly, without raising your voice, without rolling your eyes and making excessive gestures. When expressing disagreement, a polite person does not try to offend the opponent or make him or her look like a fool.
9. Do not rejoice over other people’s failures
For many, someone’s mistake becomes an occasion to gloat. A polite person will never show that he or she is pleased with other people’s difficulties. On the contrary, they will try to cheer up and support those who find themselves in a difficult situation.
10. Treat people equally
Politeness should not be selective. Every person deserves respect, regardless of gender, age, race or job title. Anyone who communicates with colleagues and the boss as courteously as possible, but is rude to a store clerk, cannot be considered a polite person. In the IX guideline, Aristippus says: “Be on equal footing with other people and avoid emphasizing differences in social status.”
After all, respect for others is a clear indicator of your personal dignity and strength of character. Be the kind of person you would like to communicate with, collaborate with, and solve important problems with.
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