What 9/11 And The War On Terror Taught Me About Courage And Relationships — I lived in a tent for a month. Not a refugee tent, though I am an immigrant from a war-torn country. But no, this was a dark-blue camping tent pitched in the middle of the living room, because I didn’t want to have anything to do with my boyfriend. And…

Work doesn’t have to define you — it’s up to you to define what kind of work is meaningful for you — Some people are born knowing what they want to do for a living. For others, it takes a lifetime of hustle and trial-and-error to figure that out. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how long it takes to find your vocation, or where you start. Sometimes, the most unlikely of jobs can…

Letter To My Shame… Dear Shame, for years you were a dress I wore and could never take off. Being without you felt naked. So I kept you on, though you felt tight and heavy. The more I wore you, the more I felt isolated. I couldn’t ask for help…

People-pleasing is a method used by children to create safety. It’s a defense mechanism that creates a bit of order in the midst of chaos. People-pleasing will continue in adulthood as long as our childhood traumas remain untreated. People-pleasers aren’t just “pushovers” — they’re still dealing with the effects of…

Have you ever thought about changing or improving your life by moving to a new location? It’s called “pulling a geographic” and I first heard of the term in a twelve-step program. It immediately got my attention. …

What saving a runt and an old lady taught me about self-worth — I killed someone. Or so I thought. When I was a little girl in Tehran, during the Iran-Iraq War, the radios would often speak lovingly of the dead. “Such an honor to have been chosen by God,” they’d say of the martyrs who died fighting. I wondered where this place…

When we learn to listen within, we can learn to listen more deeply to others. — Trauma is widespread, and most people experience some form of trauma during the course of their lives. I myself am a survivor of complex trauma and can attest to its tenacity and destructiveness. I’m also a therapist who has seen, time and again, that healing trauma really is possible: through…

What becomes possible when we accept the idea that the self is not alone? — When I came to America, I learned a lot about the importance of being an individual. I loved that idea. It wasn’t something I was exposed to much in Iran. My own childhood experience was defined by being told that I had to sacrifice everything for my family and community. …