Choices are the Regrets that are Worth Taking

Raj is afraid. His life is passing him by and the pressure is real. Months and years stack on top of each other like a pile of newspapers.

The young man is at the edge of adulthood. Barely twenty and yet forced to decide his path in life.

“I can’t even decide what I want for dinner,” He mumbles, kicking a can down the street. “It’s that quarter-life crisis all over again.”

He sits on a bench. The street is lively, with merchants selling cakes, biscuits, and sweets. He thinks about how different their lives could have been if they had chosen another path.

Raj has two choices. He needs to step up and go to college so that he can get a job. He doesn’t know what his major is, but his parents are sure it’ll be something along the lines of a Bachelor of Engineering.

And why not? Engineering is the proven field of the future. Get into something trendy like AI development, you’ll be set for life. Now Raj was an average student. Math and science didn’t scare him as much as his professors did, but there was something else.

He wanted to be a guitarist.

Back in middle school, one of his seniors got a beautiful girlfriend. His secret? The senior was phenomenal with a guitar.

Raj wanted a girlfriend too. No one had told him that his senior got the girl because he also had a rich dad and a cool bike and that he was tall and a star athlete. Our homeboy had no such advantage, but if there was one thing that he could learn, it was the guitar.

After much begging, his father got him the instrument. He learned the basics in 3 months, a record time for novices. He joined the school band and performed during festivals. And all this, just to get a girlfriend.

Perhaps it was his desperation, or maybe it was his social upbringing, but Raj never got a girlfriend. People appreciated his skill as a guitarist, but that was it.

He never progressed beyond the novice level. He’d play the guitar once every couple of months, think about playing it more, and then leave it in the corner of his room, caked with dust.

But now, Raj knew why he didn’t stop playing. The guitar was the only thing that made him feel something. Everything else felt the same. The school was a bore, video games were addicting but tiring, and movies were not his cup of tea.

Guitar, on the other hand, was something else. That instrument made him feel good like he was creating something out of thin air. His family never understood what he meant by that.

If not for his procrastination, he could have been something. He wasn’t Kurt Cobain. No one can reach THAT level. But then again, who knows?

“And now,” He mumbles to himself, “It’s too late…”

Raj couldn’t take a decision. He couldn’t live with regret. But what if his parents are right? He can always practice guitar in his spare time. Stability is important no matter who you are. And who knows, he can invest it in his guitar skills once he gets a stable job.

He didn’t even know if he liked guitar that much. What he wanted was a girlfriend, but he was just stuck with this instrument.

Raj was afraid of regrets. He was so afraid that he didn’t want to take any decision. What if he takes engineering but doesn’t do well there, and gets a low-paying job? What if he never succeeds as a guitarist and loses everything?

And that is what we’re going to talk about.

“But Father, I want to be a Breakdancer”
“Son, you can dance in your break.”
— Every Indian Dad, ever.

Let’s talk about regrets

What is regret?

Regret is the weight we carry on our shoulders. It’s the nagging whisper in the back of our minds, and the haunting question that keeps us up at night.

It’s that profound sense of sorrow and disappointment, a longing for a different choice or path in life.

So, why do we have regret?

The thing is, regrets aren’t any different than “Perceived choices”. We all choose our path, either voluntarily or involuntarily. You choose to get out of bed because you will regret the anger of your manager. You choose to brush because you will regret people running away every time you say something.

Behind every single regret is a choice that we made.

We end up with regret when our perceived choices do not give us our expected results. You chose to get out of bed and reach the office on time, but how will you feel if your manager still scolds you on something else? You’re probably going to regret getting out of bed in the first place.

Why is regret so prevalent in the modern world?

I hate to say this, but the boomers are correct here. It was social media all along. The constant bombardment of opportunities and decisions in our lives leaves us pondering what could have been. Social media amplifies our feelings of inadequacy with its curated highlight reels.

We see others living perfect lives, and we can’t help but wonder if we’ve missed out on something.

This is the paradox of choice.

The more choices you have, the more probability that you will not like what you choose and regret choosing something else.

To say we have the freedom to choose our options isn’t wrong, but it doesn’t show us the full picture. We have the freedom to choose our regrets, now that’s where things change.

All Our Futures

“There are billions of future possibilities. And we are stuck with the one where Red Dead Redemption is an X-Box Exclusive.”
— Me

We have no way of knowing where our decisions will take us. Will our choices make us happy? Can we ever be secure? The only thing that we are sure of is that we will have a few regrets in our lives. Let’s take our homeboy Raj again and run through some possibilities.

1. He joins the engineering college and gets a job. It’s good enough to keep his folks happy and pay the bills. Soon enough, he improves his skills and changes company for a better package. Raj is now an eligible bachelor, especially in society’s eyes.
2. He joins the college but still keeps practicing his guitar. He starts a YouTube channel. It’s slow to grow and he tries to be consistent despite his schedule. It’s not enough but it gives him some semblance of happiness. By the end of his college, he ends up having a few followers in his community. The money is shit, but it’s something. He is now planning to release his album and start his own band. He doesn’t know where the future will take him, but he is a bit happy.

Do you know what’s weird about both these stories? They’re both cookie cutters. Life is anything but straight. Raj’s life is made up of millions of choices, and every choice can lead to regrets. What if Raj:

• Takes up engineering but he doesn’t have the skill?
• Realizes that guitar isn’t his passion and that he was just using it as an excuse to not work hard
• Likes engineering but his job sucks and now he is stuck as it pays the bills.
• Hates guitaring later on, only to attract a loving girlfriend/
• Cannot increase his YouTube subscriber count no matter how hard he tries.
• Ends up hating himself despite having a job.

All these options can lead to some form of regret. So, the question is…

How do we tackle our regrets?

By accepting that we will always have them. No matter where you go, you will always have your regrets, your baggage. The forgotten dreams, the bitter-sweet endings, the successes, and the failures.

It’s all part of the journey. In the end, for us to have what we need, we must do something that we don’t want to do.

So the true answer isn’t “What choice is best for me.” The best answer is another question, “What regret is worth taking?”

Raj takes a moment to breathe. He closes his eyes and imagines his future. It’s dark and vibrant. Peaceful and noisy.

Raj knows what he must do and prepares for his future
He smiles.

Writer’s Note: Thank you for joining me on this journey. Your patience and attention mean the world. If you enjoyed this article, there’s more waiting for you on my website. Dive into a world of thought-provoking reads.
See you there!
Peace out!