Your Comprehensive Guide to Making New Friends as an Adult
It’s no secret that making new friends as an adult can be an arduous process. For a whole host of reasons, it just isn’t as simple as it was when we were young and in school. Yet having a large social circle that includes close personal relationships is hugely valuable. Beyond being strongly correlated with health and happiness, having lots of strong friendships and connections can make it much easier to succeed in life.
I’ve asked and looked for a lot of advice on how to make friends when you have none or few where you live and here is what I’ve found. I am absolutely biased because I want you to sign up for Krewe, but I am going to try to be as fair as possible to all the other options.
General Advice
Whatever you do, just make sure you’re consistent with it. A best friend who you click with instantly isn’t just going to fall in your lap. There’s no “love at first sight” (or whatever the friendship equivalent is) here. You’re going to need to see and interact with the same people repeatedly over an extended period of time for you to actually build a self-sustaining relationship with them. Remember, when you were young, you made friends at school because you and everyone else had to attend, and thus spent a lot of time with each other.
Just Get Out
Go to bars, coffee shops, concerts, lectures, farmers markets, events, etc. If you become a regular at certain establishments, you will inevitably become familiar with other regulars there. It’s definitely going to take some time, and be somewhat awkward at first, but if you try to be outgoing and friendly, you’re bound to meet some people you enjoy spending time with.
Take Classes
Learn to cook, play an instrument, paint, dance, speak in public, wrestle an alligator, or whatever interests you. Gain some new hobbies. Learning something with other people will make you feel like you’re on a mission together which will help you build a sense of unity and a bond over common goals.
Volunteer
Becoming involved in your community will make it easy to meet people while also giving back. Obviously you don’t want to be picking up garbage on the side of a highway by yourself, so do something you’ll enjoy and has at least some social element to it. Volunteering for a political campaign can be a good option if you care about politics. Animal shelters, public libraries, or any organization looking to raise awareness of diseases are good options as well.
Religious Groups
You can argue that these are the original social networks. People have been meeting other people through their churches/temples for all of human history. If you are religious, you’re probably already using this. If you’re not, then you’re probably not going to be interested.
Sports Clubs
Join a running/cycling/rowing club or a recreational sports team. This will have the added benefit of forcing you to become more physically active and exercise more, and in a fun way. If you regularly exercise anyway, do it with people instead of just by yourself. Get off the treadmill/elliptical, pull out the earbuds and start running with people. I made most of my closest friends from my cross country team in college. Yes, it is possible to run and talk at the same time (I don’t know how people stand it otherwise).
Meetups
Meetups can be a good option to meet people who have the same interests, but I find them to be tough since you generally don’t have a lot of consistency among the people who show up. I imagine some are better than others. A board game Meetup is probably better than a tech Meetup. You may have to test of several different groups before you find one that works.
Friending Apps
BumbleBFF, Hey! Vina, Tinder Social, Squad, Wiith, Wolfpack, Cliq, Klique, Patook, CitySocializer, GoFindFriends. There’s a lot of them. I said I’d try to be fair, but it’s hard when it comes to my competition. I don’t think finding friends should be anything like online dating, because making new friends has never been like finding dates. Dating apps aim to expose you to a lot of different people with the eventual hope of introducing you to the “right” person. But in the friendship world, finding the “right” person is not the name of the game — regularity is. You get to have multiple friends, so you don’t need to find one person who is your ideal fit. Plus, judging people based on their profile picture is really weird when your just looking to be friends.
Krewe
Krewe places you into a group with five of your peers who all live within a half-mile radius. The small group dynamic really makes it comfortable to meet up and get to know each other at first. You don’t feel like you’re in a big crowd of strangers, nor like you’re on a date with someone. And since everyone lives within walking distance of each other, it’s really convenient to hang out often, even every day. Eventually, once you’ve become close with your group, you’ll be able to merge with other local groups, thus helping you make even more friends, feel like you’re part of a community, and have a network that you can rely on for career connections, finding romantic partners, and enjoying an incredible social life.
I really wouldn’t be trying to build Krewe if I thought that any of the other options were sufficient. Everything else is going to take a lot of effort and will probably take you far out of your comfort zone. Making new friends shouldn’t be a struggle. It doesn’t need to be painful. It should be fun and exciting and easy. Krewe is designed just for that.
