In late September 2022, the five members of all-female rock group “Band Maid” invited several thousand social media personalities and タレントto an abandoned quarry in Ibaraki prefecture, and there brutally murdered them. When asked why, Rhythm Guitarist, Miku Kobato quipped こんな場所は死体を捨てるのに最も便利だったッポ。 ‘It was the most convenient place to dump the bodies, po’.
Start to finish, Influencer is a savage pisstake of both the social media scene, and of mass-produced pop music. I’ve watched quite a few reaction videos and whilst they generally pick up on the broad theme, almost all of them miss the brutality of the murder they’re watching. My writing is a breakdown of the song’s lyrics, but I would be doing the band a disservice to examine them without the wider context of the music and the video. I’m not aiming at a wider critique of the JPop music scene or influencers. That’s best left to people far more qualified, but I’ll call out some shit as I see it.
Whilst Influencer has all the hallmarks of the Band Maid hit machine, it’s a bit out of character for them. Usually their songs have an uplifting feel and somehow leave you feeling happy, this one is enjoyable to listen to, but it is decidedly not upbeat and happy. The lyrics are perhaps the most overt mauling of the vapid and shallow space synonymous with the song title, but the visuals and every element of the song composition are just as savage.
The song is restricted to three minutes and twenty-five seconds long; the ideal length of a commercial tune. They could be accused of being slightly self indulgent in the length of their regular music. ̶I̶t̶’̶s̶ ̶e̶a̶s̶y̶ There’s more space to fit in as much as they usually do when not constrained by time. The length of this song and the amount they pack into it without it feeling crowded is a huge fuck you to the laziness of mass-produced pop.
The video begins with a drone flyover of an incredibly pretty setting (a rock quarry in Ibaraki). If the use of the drone wasn’t an immediate clue, you get smashed in the face with a flurry of cliche Insta filters and the fact that the setting is a literal fucking ROCK QUARRY — something whose sole function is to serve up perfect slices of cookie cutter rock. It’s super fucking clever before they play a single note.
The rest of the song is like the band got a how-to list of influencer tactics and decided to see how many they could cram into a song. There’s a delicious irony in the attention to detail. The entire piece as an ensemble is a perfect caricature of the two industries it savages.
What have they crammed in? I mentioned the visuals — drone angles, filters, the ‘pretty on purpose’ location and let’s face it the band themselves. That’s what POP culture means now. Pretty On Purpose.
Drip feeding content? How about Misa’s two-part bass solo? Here’s a bass solo…teaser. Get me to 5000 subs and I’ll give you the rest. You’re going to love it, just do my bidding first — ok, here’s your reward. It’s like giving a toy to a kid, taking it away, watching them panic for a sec, then giving it back. Sure they’re happy again, but you’re telling them ‘enjoy this thing I’ve given you, just remember I can take it away at any point’. Power play dick move. Misa owns your favourite bass solo. Don’t fucking forget it.
Changing content and style to keep things fresh? Check. In addition to the perfectly constructed verse/chorus x2 + bridge, you also get:
- a rap interlude (another jpop trope pisstake)
- bass solo
- guitar solo
all inside 3 minutes and 25 seconds. About the only other thing they could have thrown in would have been a key change and maybe some cowbell.
So whilst we’re going through a set of lyrics that would violate the US thirteenth amendment (you’re not supposed to own people), keep in mind the amount of work the rest of the song is doing to flip the bird at two industries.
Full lyrics available here
Every day ほら routine routine
忙しかしましShooting
忙しい — sewashii — busy (also ‘irritating’)
かしまし — hectic
This one I had to go to the books for. 忙しい is most usually read as ‘isogashii’, but here they use ‘sewashii’ which I am less familiar with. It means ‘busy’, but can also mean ‘persistent and irritating’, which is fucking perfect. I love discovering these conjunctions of meaning in Japanese. し̶ま̶し̶(̶s̶h̶i̶m̶a̶s̶h̶i̶)̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶n̶ ̶’̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶i̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶l̶e̶’̶,̶ ̶s̶̵̶o̶̵̶ ̶̵̶I̶̵̶ ̶̵̶s̶̵̶u̶̵̶s̶̵̶p̶̵̶e̶̵̶c̶̵̶t̶̵̶ ̶̵̶t̶̵̶h̶̵̶e̶̵̶y̶̵̶’̶̵̶v̶̵̶e̶̵̶ ̶̵̶c̶̵̶h̶̵̶o̶̵̶s̶̵̶e̶̵̶n̶̵̶ ̶̵̶t̶̵̶h̶̵̶e̶̵̶s̶̵̶e̶̵̶ ̶̵̶w̶̵̶o̶̵̶r̶̵̶d̶̵̶s̶̵̶ ̶̵̶b̶̵̶e̶̵̶c̶̵̶a̶̵̶u̶̵̶s̶̵̶e̶̵̶ ̶̵̶t̶̵̶h̶̵̶e̶̵̶y̶̵̶ ̶̵̶s̶̵̶o̶̵̶u̶̵̶n̶̵̶d̶̵̶ ̶̵̶g̶̵̶o̶̵̶o̶̵̶d̶̵̶ ̶̵̶t̶̵̶o̶̵̶g̶̵̶e̶̵̶t̶̵̶h̶̵̶e̶̵̶r̶̵̶.̶̵̶ ̶̵̶’̶̵̶B̶̵̶u̶̵̶s̶̵̶y̶̵̶?̶̵̶ ̶̵̶Y̶̵̶o̶̵̶u̶̵̶’̶̵̶l̶̵̶l̶̵̶ ̶̵̶b̶̵̶e̶̵̶ ̶̵̶s̶̵̶h̶̵̶o̶̵̶o̶̵̶t̶̵̶i̶̵̶n̶̵̶g̶̵̶ ̶̵̶f̶̵̶o̶̵̶r̶̵̶ ̶̵̶a̶̵̶ ̶̵̶w̶̵̶h̶̵̶i̶̵̶l̶̵̶e̶̵̶’̶̵̶ ̶̵̶i̶̵̶s̶̵̶ ̶̵̶m̶̵̶y̶̵̶ ̶̵̶t̶̵̶a̶̵̶k̶̵̶e̶̵̶ ̶̵̶o̶̵̶n̶̵̶ ̶̵̶t̶̵̶h̶̵̶i̶̵̶s̶̵̶ ̶̵̶l̶̵̶i̶̵̶n̶̵̶e̶̵̶.̶̵̶(EDIT: Nope, I was wrong. かしまし means ‘hectic’, so it’s more or less as the video translates it — ‘hustle bustle shooting’. That’s what I get for trying to be clever). Either way, I love the busy/irritating thing. It’s gold.
世界に揺れろ
世界 — sekai — world
揺れろ — yurero — shake (imperative form)
‘sekai ne yurero’ Shake the world.
どのハッシュタグLoading
どの — dono — which
ハッシュタグ — hasshutagu — zero points for guessing what this means.
Next verse, omitting the identical bits
Breaking newsにおまかせ
おまかせ — omakase — recommendation/guidance
Here it means ‘be guided by breaking news’
世界に映えろ キラキラKeep trying
映えろ — haero — imperative form of ‘look attractive’
キラキラ — kira kira — sparkle
Keep trying to be attractive (or else). the ‘ki’ ni kira kira is phonetically close to ‘keep’, so that’s a nice touch.
Hold’em up 燃えたらいいじゃん
燃えたらいいじゃん
燃えたら — moetara — if you’re ‘on fire’/fired up. ‘moeru’ is the verb ‘to burn’. ‘tara’ is the potential form, i.e. if/when.
いいじゃん — iijan’ — it’s good, right? ‘jan’ is one of those sentence endings that no one seems to ever explain, but you get by osmosis. It’s like a spoken question mark in a rhetorical question. It confirms that the speaker and listener(s) are in agreement about a thing (or ought to be).
Hold’em on 結果はオーライ
結果はオーライ
結果 — kekka — result
オーライ — o-rai — alright
kekka o-rai is a colloquial phrase that means ‘turns out alright’ (in the end).
虚勢も自身でしょ？
虚勢 — kyosei — bluff
自身 — jishin — oneself
でしょ — desho — a sentence ending that means ‘right?’ or ‘don’t you think?’ It’s used rhetorically, though it retains more of the sense of a question than ‘jan’. In this case, it’s an accusation. You’re faking it too, right?
喜怒哀楽Ending
喜怒哀楽 — kidoairaku — range of emotions (literally joy, anger, grief, pleasure)
もう一回Starting
もう一回 — mou ichido — once again
Democracyな世界にReason
Democracyな世界 — democra(tic) world
にReason — In this case, based largely on the way the translation in the video reads, ‘ni’ describes the basis by which something occurs. Democratic world is the reason.
I met, I parted, met and parted
思考してGet it straight
思考して — shikou shi-te — basically ‘think’. Think, get it straight.
Rap Rap Rap
Hate will never stop
Okay, it’s English. Noteworthy only because ‘rap rap rap’ in the song sounds like ‘blah blah blah’ to my ear, which also fits.
やだなぁって Fake crying
When I first heard this song, I thought the lyrics were ‘iyada na, your fake crying’, which would have been just brutal. ‘iyada na’ conveys a sense of something being grossly distasteful, objectionable or inappropriate. The use of って (~tte) is slightly less brutal, but not much. って usually means ‘they said’, but can also mean ‘this thing you should be aware of’, so the meaning is ‘you should know I really hate fake crying’.
(Everybody!! Look!!)
Jesus, the deadpan-ness of this just kills me. It perfectly captures the disinterested boredom of a social media content creation machine; like the trope of an actor who is all smiles for the camera, but turns into a complete cunt as soon as they stop rolling. These two words delivered as they are speaks volumes about the industrial nature of something that ought to be organic. The parasitic relationship of influencers and their so called communities. The sophisticated production and post-production touch ups. For those of you who have seen the movie Little Miss Sunshine, it’s like the moment where the characters who have been striving to live up to their own idealistic versions of themselves in their run-down, off-brand, pastel coloured lives see the sophisticated, high-end high-fashion glitz and glamour for the hollow shit that it is and realise that none of it fucking matters. Band Maid gives us that in two fucking words.
As a complete aside, the combination of ‘Everybody look’ + ‘oh oh oh oh’ from Manners would break me as a human.
Follow me now!! ほら見て Give it a like ねぇ
Follow me now!!
ほら — hora — ‘hey’
見て — mite — look at (this/me)
好きになっちゃうじゃん
好きになっちゃう — suki ni nacchau — is a contraction of suku ni natte shimaimasu. ‘suki ni naru’ means to be enamoured with someone or fall in love. ‘naru’ is become and the ‘cchau’ ending means in this case ‘completely and totally’. The lyrics as written end in a question mark, so the line is ‘you’re totally into me, aren’t you?’. The use of ‘jan’ making it again a rhetorical question.
Look at me now!!
よく見て 攻略法どこ？
I win!! You can’t win
よく見て — yoku mite — take a good look
攻略法 — kouryokuhou — means strategy. The video translates this to ‘cheat sheet’, which captures their meaning beautifully.
どこ？ — doko — where (is it)?
Look at me, no really look. Where’s the cheat sheet? I win, you can’t win. I mean, if you need me to explain this bit to you, you might be dead inside. There’s no win-win in the influencer space. Not at the top anyway. It’s ruthless and cutthroat in the relentless pursuit of eyeballs on your content. If I win, you don’t.
Hunky dory day x 4
Hunky Dory day threw me initially. At first listen it seemed so at odds with everything else that I didn’t come back to the song for a while. Shout out to Flugelhorn Old man in Japan for pointing out in the comments of this video that it’s a homophone.
This phrase is very close to Japanese expression “Honki (本気) Dori (or Tori 撮り)” that means 「本気」= serious, earnest, sincere” and 「撮り」= filming, recording
That makes so much sense, and just like that I was back in love with this song and kicking myself for missing the obvious. Shout out also to Chase Carneson (presenter of that video) for coining a phrase that is now a permanent part of my vocab. Nice.
Into the next verse, we get
Hold’em up 自己満だって
自己満 — jikoman — smug, self-satisfied
だって — datte — in this case meaning ‘because’ or ‘after all’
The vido translates this as ‘Hold ’em up even if it’s all about you’. I’d have gone with ‘Hold ’em up, because it’s all about you.’
Hold’em on 負けたくないじゃん
負けたくない — maketakunai — (you) don’t want to lose.
虚像の自分でいい
虚像 — kyozou — false/pretentious
自分 — jibun — self
A false image of yourself is fine. Interestingly, the video translates this as ‘even if it’s just an Instagram identity’, which works, but is quite specific.
希少価値にEnding, じゃあリセットStarting
希少価値 — kishoukachi — rarity/scarcity
じゃあ — ja — well then
リセット — risetto — reset
(your) ‘unique selling point’ is ending, well reset and go again
Some trademark minor changeups as the build to the chorus again:
I met, I parted, met and parted
しっくりこない 足りない
しっくりこない — shikkuri konai — negative of ‘shikkuri kuru’ which means ‘sit right or feel right/complete’. i.e. Nothing feels complete or finished. The artist’s curse.
足りない — tarinai — not enough
Clap Clap Clap
満たして承認
Who invites me to the top?
満たして — mitashite — te-form of mitasu ‘to satisfy’, ‘to meet one’s demands’
承認 — shounin — recognition
Recognition gives me what I need.
Then a more insistent ‘everybody look’ as we head into the chorus, then Saiki’s rap interlude.
将来の展望なんて
将来 — shourai — future prospects
展望 — tenbou — outlook
なんて — nante — ‘something like’ or ‘things like’ (generally this is used dismissively or with a negative connotation)
正体不明じゃん 何で？
正体不明 — shoutai fumei — unidentifiable, vague
何で？ — nande? — why?
(Your) future prospects (and stuff) are looking pretty vague. Why’s that?. Probably my favourite two lines of the whole song. Savage AF.
しゃーないマウント合戦
しゃーない — shaanai — colloquial contraction of ‘shouganai’, meaning ‘it can’t be helped’
マウント — maunto — mount
合戦 — kassen — battle
Can’t be helped. Go do battle (I assume with the presumptuous fuckers treading on your turf).
Chit-chat Chit-chat
Self explanatory, except that it sounds like 小ちゃい — chicchai — which means ‘very small’, or insignificant. Nicely done.
高まるAdvantage
高まる — takamaru — to rise
‘Advantage’ might sound to the western ear like there aren’t enough syllables to match the beats, but the Japanese pronunciation ‘アドバンテージ’ (a-do-ba-n-te- — -ji) gives you enough to work with.
まじこれフィルター神じゃん
Holy shit this is a clever line.
まじ — maji — very colloquial ‘truly’
これ — kore — this
フィルター filter
神 — kami — god
‘For real, this filter is the shit’ is more or less the meaning of this line, but the reason it is so clever is this
蠱れ — majikore — this is the imperative form of an archaic verb majikoru ‘to be drawn in by something evil’. The fact that it’s paired with ‘kami-jan’ makes me think this is very much on purpose.
Push likе it！ Check it out
Share！ Happy！ Let’s dancе!!
Some shit-hot bass and lead guitar solo action here, acapella from Saiki, then a one-two belt. The long note from Saiki is nice, and the follow up belt from Miku is a joy to listen to. For me it backs up the band’s strong assertion that, hey we can do all of the things it takes to write pop hits and more, oh and by the way our backing vocalist can belt harder than all forty-six of you pissweak girl-band fluffettes combined. Some triumphant fucking drum action to take us out and we’re done. Just push those corpses into the water.
There is so much going on musically but I will leave it to Chase Carneson and a group of blokes collectively called the Gaijin Guys to talk about that in detail.
As a takedown song on a scale of Nine Inch Nails’ Wish to Tim Minchin’s three minute song it’s probably right in the middle. These girls are very clever in so many areas. Long may they reign.