5 Steps to High-Consciousness Love
How to Make High-Consciousness Love: Part Two
[Also read — How to Make High-Consciousness Love: Part One]
Here is your step by step guide for creating perpetual high-consciousness love in your couple relationship using the Dialogue Circle tool. This article is the practical application of the principles described in How to Make High-Consciousness Love: Part One.
Step 1: The Changing Landscape of Desires
As was discussed at greater length in How to Make High-Consciousness Love: Part One, your life is a progression of evolving desires. Now you will learn how to use the Dialogue Circle tool to create a mutual guarantee system to manage your changing desires and build high-consciousness love between you and your partner.
It’s time to plan your first Dialogue Circle. You are about to experience a process that will free you from enslavement to your individual desires by showing you how to open a new and wider angle of perception. Together, you and your partner will expand your individual points of view into a dual point of view and move beyond that to heightened consciousness.
A high-consciousness love relationship is developed by looking beyond individual wills and finding a place of mutual management of each other’s desires and fulfillment. Together you will help one another to relate more deeply to fulfill your evoling desires.
Action
Make a date with your partner for one week ahead to experience your first Dialogue Circle together. You will need a quiet place where you can sit comfortably face to face and talk without interruptions and distractions for approximately an hour and a half. Arrange to have access to the Rules for the Dialogue Circle (click the provided link) and bring the exercise which you will have prepared ahead during the week.
As a preparatory exercise, you and your partner will track his or her desires during the days leading up to your planned Dialogue Circle. Keep a list in a notebook of the desires you notice coming to your awareness. Write down whether or not each desire is fulfilled and by whom.
Step 2: Ten Golden Rules of the Dialogue Circle
During Step 2, you will think together about why each rule of the Dialogue Circle is crucial for setting apart a sacred couple space between you where you can renew and create your love relationship. These rules are the golden ticket to creating a kind of womb for giving birth to ongoing love.
You must guard this space as if it was your most precious treasure by carefully observing the rules when you interact in the Dialogue Circle. This creates the place where you will be able to suspend your personal assumptions, your value judgements, and your opinions. Here you will discover a sweet spot of delicate balance between the emotional and the intellectual where inspiration and heightened consciousness flows.
The rules of the Dialogue Circle allow you to achieve a unique state of mindfulness, of active and open attention to the present within a space of observation of thoughts and feelings beyond judgments of them as good or bad.
There is only one task in the Dialogue Circle — to listen without prejudice to your partner as if their words are coming from your own heart and to pay attention to what happens in the circle of connection that you create between you.
Action
Sit comfortably across from your partner in your couples Dialogue Circle. Each of you should have the Rules of the Dialogue Circle open in front of you. Read one of the rules of the Dialogue Circle. After reading the rule, each should briefly share why that rule is important and how it can improve connection between you. Continue the process until you have done the same with all ten rules of the Dialogue Circle.
Step 3: Setting a Mutual Goal
During every Dialogue Circle, specific important questions are introduced for each partner to answer in turns. Each of you will equally bring into the Dialogue Circle your dreams and hopes for your relationship as well as past disappointments and failures.
The Dialogue Circle provides the venue each of you need to be listened to and understood. This is the place where you can identify goals together and common purpose. You will develop good habits together and take responsibility for your mutual happiness by interpreting your couple experiences in the best possible way.
Here you will create new positive couple experiences to replace the negatives scenes from the past and identify together positive actions that will connect you to your relationship goals. Your most important focus should be to feel the words of your partner as if they are your own.
While your partner speaks remember to slip inside the longing behind every word like it springs from your own soul. Keep your focus on what happens in the connection between you and don’t worry about the outcome. Remember that the goal of the Dialogue Circle is the connection between you rather than the specific answers to the questions.
Action
According to the rules of the Dialogue Circle, for 20 minutes take turns answering these questions: What is the essence of an ideal love relationship? What is the goal of our relationship? Each of you should speak for about two minutes per turn.
Step 4: Interconnecting Desires
In the Dialogue Circle you create space to imagine, visualize, and fantasize about your new desires and to brainstorm creative ways for fulfilling them. You also maintain a safe container to accept all thoughts and feelings about past disappointed desires. Give them permission to be exactly what they are — the Dialogue Circle can hold it all.
Negative emotions can flare up whenever your identity seems under attack. This happens when your cherished values and ideas about reality — often misapprehended as your ‘identity’ — are questioned. This may happen when your partner expresses a diametrically opposite view. Habitual emotional reactions such as anger and hostility also have to be suspended in the Dialogue Circle.
Once your individual point of view can be less compulsively defended as absolutely right and your partner’s opinions less vehemtly rejected as stupid and wrong, you and your partner will feel all assumptions and ideas as aspects of a common consciousness of shared meaning. The Dialogue Circle liberates you from the grip of futile assumptions, habits, and compulsion.
You will be able to hear and feel one another’s heartfelt expression of desire to fulfill each other. Over time, your individual inner narratives of the past become transformed in a more empathetic and balanced way. In other words, your reality is rewritten.
Action
Continuing to explicitly follow the Dialogue Circles rules, spend 20 minutes sharing and speaking about the list of desires that you kept in preparation for your first couples Dialogue Circle. Each should speak for no more than two minutes per turn. Share your most important desires, whether they were fulfilled, and who fulfilled them. Share the emotions and insights you experienced while doing this exercise.
Step 5: High-Consciousness Relationship
The process of defining the essence of your relationship and its goal, bringing your dreams and hopes to the Dialogue Circle, and reexamining past disappointments and failures actually rewrites the past in your brain and creates a positive reality in the present. Your mutual connection in the Dialogue Circle allows you and your partner to enter a flow state and to construct a present reality of peak experiences and relationship awakening.
The awakened state in the center of the Dialogue Circle provides a new recognition of aspects of the self, specifically desires, so that insight is evoked and applied to meaningful personal issues. This results in rapid personal transformation and resolution of disabling issues across the life history of your relationship. When partners interconnect and act collectively, desirable results are produced.
Heightened consciousness is an important part of creating a lasting love relationship. Couples are able to achieve a temporary expansion and intensification of awareness during the Dialogue Circle experience that brings perceptual, affective, and conceptual changes specifically applied to relationship wellbeing.
Your ordinary limited and literal form of thought vanishes before an expansive perception of relationship reality. This type of participatory and shared consciousness is deeply transformative because from it we create ourselves and the reality we perceive around us.
Action
Take turns for ten minutes reflecting on your first Dialogue Circle experience. Speak for one minute each about the most important things that you will take away from the connection you achieved in the Dialogue Circle.
The Well That Never Runs Dry
When you and your partner use the Dialogue Circle tool weekly, you will gain a shared purpose and amazement at the unexpected resources of higher consciousness available for creating your new relationship reality. The microcosm of the Dialogue Circle becomes the seeding-ground for relationship transformation.
Regular use of the Dialogue Circle tool opens the door for you to experience deep harmony within your couple relationship. You and your partner can draw from the wellspring of all perception — “the source of Intelligence.” When this is applied to your love relationship, you will make high-consciousness love.
[Also read — How to Make High-Consciousness Love: Part One]
