Big Green ToasterCena’s ‘Doctor of Thuganomics’ license in limbo; req’d to make up past CME.After a dramatic return to Wrestlemania this past Sunday, John Cena, Thuganomics M.D., has been contacted by the Massachusetts Board of…Apr 10, 2019Apr 10, 2019
Big Green Toaster“I don’t really understand foreign politics, but that’s probably bad, right?” asks average AmericanEverywhere, USA- Amid the turmoil and political infighting we’ve been witnessing overseas, we interviewed an average American on what he…Apr 4, 2019Apr 4, 2019
Big Green ToasterYou know that food you like? It’s that food’s national ‘National Day’!Have you heard? That undeniably great food you like. Yeah, that one! Guess what? We’re celebrating it!Apr 4, 2019Apr 4, 2019
Big Green ToasterArea man ‘Tries his best.’; still fails to gain approval he so desperately soughtIn a failing , pathetic attempt to impress people with his skills, an area man continues to be ridiculed by strangers. While the man…Apr 4, 2019Apr 4, 2019
Big Green ToasterLeast offensive candidate still being sought for Democratic nominationWashington D.C.- After a slew of ‘being creepy’ allegations, things aren’t looking too great for nominee hopeful , Joe Biden; once again…Apr 2, 2019Apr 2, 2019
Big Green ToasterLocal opinion writer gets a little too into itSmalltown, USA- Heart, passion, and soul were put into a local writer’s column this afternoon. Plowing through (questionable) facts and…Apr 2, 2019Apr 2, 2019
Big Green ToasterBig company makes big ‘Uh-Oh’Big City, USA- During a topsy turvy news day, the topsiest and turviest of news comes from mechacompany industry leader , where customers…Apr 2, 2019Apr 2, 2019
Big Green ToasterLocal man wastes 2 minutes of his timeSouth Bend — In a tragic turn of turn of events, a South Bend man clicked an internet article in which he didn’t like. He thought it would…Apr 2, 2019Apr 2, 2019
Big Green ToasterAOC breathes; sparks Twitter controversyIn a dramatic reveal today, it was reported freshman congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez takes as many as 23,040 breaths a day. This…Apr 2, 2019Apr 2, 2019
Big Green Toaster‘Defense wins championships’ guy rudely interrupts conversationColumbus- After the big game, Monday, Gregory McWilliams delivered a patient soliloquy proclaiming how correct he was the whole time about…Apr 2, 20191Apr 2, 20191