Everyone on Earth has the exact same story about Sonic The Hedgehog, mascot of SEGA; They played his games as a kid and then they grew up to not like them as much and also they found out they were a furry.
This has been the case for literally everyone I have ever met, including a senator, and so it is upheld as one of life’s great truths. However, there is an outlier: Me! Boocanan!
So as the only living being on Earth who’s touched a Sonic and is (as of writing) not a furry, I feel it’s time to tell my story. To go down as one of history’s bravest and boldest writers.
To leave behind a legacy, that is my wish.
I will be accomplishing this by playing through Sonic Adventure 2 and generally being an ass about the whole situation. Let’s get started
(For this little venture, I’ll be playing the Steam port of SA2, I usually use the Gamecube port when I want to suffer but trying to get good looking screenshots on a Nintendo console is like unclasping a bra with oven mitts)
LEVEL 0: STARTING THE GAME (A ROPE OF SAND)
Steam just tells you that it’s doing this, when it’s really just cleaning up its room after jacking off because you gave it some more money.
oh FUCK YES. Look at this Gamecube demo disc shit. We are in the thick of it now.
My hands are trembling.
I don’t want to break my goddamn fingers trying to work a keyboard control scheme, so let’s get my gamepad set up. We’re almost there —
Oh you son of a bitch.
Now I gotta go redownload Joy2Key because literally every video game ever has gamepad controls but this one.
Next: We escape from the city. Nice one boocanan. Thanks
