Who am I…Where am I Going
This is quite the existential question to ask myself. Though its not surprising, since I am listening to Michael Pollan’s book, How to Change Your Mind, about what the new Science of Psychedelics teaches us about consciousness, dying, addiction, depression, and transcendence. I prefer dealing with the fluffy topics of consciousness and transcendence and reserving the other topics for later. I am reminded of a lovely poem by Derek Mahon, titled Everything is Going to be All Right’, where one of the lines says,
“There will be dying, there will be dying,
but there is no need to go into that.”
Please check out his poem at a later time if you want a boost in your attitude and emotions. The context of the line is complex especially from an Irish poet. I have heard David Whyte recite this poem and being Irish himself, he can attest to the thought that for the psyche of the Irish the mood can be that everything is certainly not all right. But I digress. For now we will dive into consciousness and transcendence.
What I didn’t realize about Pollan’s book on CD, is that he reads the book himself. I have dabbled in the art of “Voice Over” work and have taken classes at “Voicetrax” in Sausalito and know that because you are an author it is does not always translate that your voice is a great speaking voice. Michael Pollan pulls this off exceptionally. I was curious who was reading his book when I first started listening because the voice was confident, articulate, and in touch with the material. So if you do decide to listen to the book rather than read it you will be pleasantly surprised with the sound of Pollan’s voice.
The other books I have been perusing are, The Physics of Miracles by Richard Bartlett, DC, ND, and, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, by Dr. Joe Dispenza. Both of these books are heavy weights in talking about consciousness, and dismantling the self or the false self as I like to often refer to our ego self. I feel myself struggling to portray how these books are landing with me and include those thoughts in this article and podcast (“The Spoken Symbol”, on iTunes and anchor.fm).
I have been looking at my future and where I see or feel myself headed. I have been writing these articles with the corresponding podcast for over a year and a half now, and also teaching and facilitating, “Ignite Your Creativity” classes. What I’m noticing is that the world is traveling at an insane speed right now, or is it just me? I find time to unplug since I am semi-retired and have two grandchildren, Jack and Desmond, and yet I feel compelled to share this journey and the learnings I have taken to heart while studying and mentoring with such great teachers as Marguerite Wildenhain, Angeles Arrien, and Nathan McMahon.
I want part of my progress or next steps to be upgrading my “software”, my operating system, which includes the mental and physical. The physical part is to take into consideration all the fantastic research going on now with supplements, food, exercise, and body awareness. There is much to comprehend with just the physical part, so it will take time to integrate and research what I want to do in that area. The mental and consciousness research and study has always been ongoing for me since reading the Carlos Castaneda books in the 70's.
Thinking about this upcoming article and podcast I felt the impulse to abandon this complex, divisive world of politics and your opinions versus my opinions, I wanted out…
I want Washington, the politicians, and all the media to go to a small uninhabited island in the arctic circle to battle it out and let the people decide what to do. Isn’t it time to change the BIG CHANNEL. From reading and thinking about these three books lately, the altered states of being, to life changing “trips,” and experiences, to understanding the science behind how our minds work and how our thoughts create our reality, it seems there is no shortage of ways to be fulfilled and to change our circumstances. Yet like most valuable things in life it takes commitment, energy, and a bit of dedication to start this trek into finding out who one really is and where you want to go. For some, if not most of us, we have been on this journey for a few years and I can say with some certainty that the habitual mindset and consensus that we are stuck it most days is not the way to get there.
First, there has to be at least a mild form of discontent with your path or situation to venture down this journey of becoming more aware. The awareness of self has a wide range of being. We can have a simple awareness of our habits and routines and how we live and breathe in those realms, to being aware of experiences and visions beyond our own consciousness. These excursions into thoughts about ourselves and our own consciousness doesn’t have to be a terrifying assemblage of our worst selves and our possible nightmares but can be witnessed from a position outside our normal selves. We can look at these areas as a witness. Viewing these experiences and parts of ourselves as pieces of a puzzle of who we really are. With the idea in mind to be willing to look at yourself with love, kindness, and compassion because you may be surprised at what you see and witness. Please be willing to suspend judgment about all that is revealed.
A good position for the witness to take is being non-judgmental and allowing to come up what naturally comes up out of the depths of your experience, and to know there is no right or wrong in the world. We attach meaning to every event and experience in our lives and we do this individually and in the groups we attach ourselves to, we attach “good” or “bad” to events.
Joseph Campbell said, “Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.”
I believe we are brought events and experiences into our lives to learn from, so be careful how you judge them because they can hang on us for years until we see and learn. We can often think of these events as random but usually they are not. You get to choose the avenue into your self-exploration, through exciting though daunting mind bending substances or more relaxed ways like meditation and introspection.
Joseph Campbell has an interesting quote about being human:
“You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth
Hearing that quote always brings me to a place of relaxation and release. I have permission to not know my name or where I came from. Permission to create anything I want and to let go of my past and my shadow side, even for a few minutes in the eternity of no time.
What I have learned from Dr. Joe Dispenza regarding meditation is that when you have an intention coupled with a strong emotion or feeling you can access your mind in a way that can change your present moment as well as your future. Simply sitting with a mantra or allowing your thoughts to move through your awareness is fine and can add rest and relaxation to your life, but if you want to make larger impacts and clear disease or distress in your life then experimenting with clear focused intent and an elevated emotion is worth doing.
Science and research according to Dr. Joe Dispenza shows that with a strong focused intention coupled with a heightened emotional feeling, the mind (You) can affect your reality in positive and enlightening ways, yes you can. That being said, it will take repetition, commitment, and dedication to make the benefits operational, and it will happen.
The largest hurdle to making sustained progress in changing your life and circumstances my be the mere fact of getting out of your own way. To put aside your negative thinking, negative habits, and patterns that have attached to you without your conscious consent. These impediments to your advancement into more awareness about your true-self and your subconscious have settled into a comfortable place in your conversations, your thoughts and actions. Many of us have become automatons to our repetitious life styles. By mindlessly repeating our patterns and habits, both physical and mental, we make deep grooves in the neurological pathways in the brain, therefore emphasizing those thoughts and actions. How do new creative thoughts and solutions have a chance?
Do we dare drive a different way to work, or take a class we have never taken before, or listen to strange and different music? Anything outside of our routines will foster new neurological pathways in the brain and bring new creativity into our lives.
Joseph Campbell’s quote is fascinating because it is asking us to go back and start anew with the basic premise of who we are. It allows us to reset everyday, similar to a meditation practice where we sit again and again with ourselves and ask to be brought back into who we really are, willing to explore our amalgamation of energy and matter in this magical, mystical place we call consciousness. The reset, Campbell is asking us to partake in everyday, is an important step in living a fresh and exciting life everyday like young children do.
Pollan in his book, How to Change Your Mind, sites research that the psychedelic experience is similar in many ways to how young children think and process information. In one particular study, four year olds were faster than adults at discovering how to put certain blocks together to complete a puzzle. They were not bound by the habitual and experienced thinking that adults have developed. The researchers site other ways in which the young unencumbered brain is similar to the “clean slate” or the expanded awareness often experienced in psychedelic sessions.
For me, I think of my grandsons and how witnessing their growth as young children deepened my awareness of how tapped in they are to an openness of being and a “no holds barred” approach to experimenting with their new life. Their imaginations ruling their infant lives in beautifully fun and magical ways. The way they babble and communicate quickly learning to get what they want and to express their view of the world to those adults around them, and demanding that everyone experience the world as they do. I’ll share an earlier poem I wrote about Jack my first grandson and the emotions I felt witnessing his expressions of his world after waking up after an afternoon nap.
After a Child’s Nap
Oh, to wake up after an afternoon nap as a young child,
something I am witnessing from my 18 month old grandson.
I pull him from his crib, after he has cried a bit
into my arms and warm, he lets me know he is now ready to hold court,
to administer and say all the things that need saying,
none of which I can understand…
First, from my arms, he points to a window and begins,
I think he is describing a tree across the street,
in colors, and describes the sky by it’s weight,
in such an artistic way, he expounds,
with voice inflection and tone.
Whimsical, melodic, infectious
in a way that no one can describe or copy.
I don’t understand yet I believe.
I believe as if my life depended upon it.
I don’t want him to stop… ever.
He sounds like manna, a voice echoing from Eden,
Adams voice or Eve’s or a blend of the first voices.
A voice so soft yet knowing,
with a believability of mountains.
Oh, to understand what he is saying.
It all makes perfect sense to him, as he continues
an almost whispered voice
mouth and words bubbling out.
His creativity heard as a fountain,
his tone like tiny awakened bells
splashed with rose water, and delicate
like a love song sung by lovers.
Like angels speaking a forgotten language,
more gesturing and pointing, pouring from his lips.
An experience of Art, or Jesus speaking his foreign language
and understanding there will be enough fishes and loaves.
All that beauty tumbling out of this child,
bringing my deafened ear to a place of reverence for innocence.
I want for those moments after he has risen,
His eyes opened to the world, his babbling brook of conversation,
spellbindingly beautiful,
understood by a feeling of being new again.
His voice singing his new life.
The research Pollan speaks about in his book on the similarities of the psychedelic experience and the mind of young children reminds me of the quote attributed to Jesus, Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. I take most religious sayings as true though not literal. I arrived at this feeling from another quote from Campbell, “All religions are true but none are literal.” These are fascinating comparisons for me and the metaphors are deep and wide.
It shows me the arc of our lives start as an open minded child with infinite possibilities and a joy of experiencing everyday as fresh and new, ripe with possibilities. Our “hero’s journey” is to go through life being jostled with difficult situations and challenges, thrown into uncomfortable settings, and offered the chance of surmounting those difficulties and coming out on the other side of those experiences after letting go of expectations and trusting again, finally, as a young child. Knowing that the infinite consciousness, believing individually what that means to each of us, is always waiting for us to accept our role in experiencing the meaning of Love.
The majority of reports from people having psychedelic experiences is that they experience a feeling of love and wholeness as the basis of existence and consciousness. We also know that young children have similar brain patterns of a universal openness and love. So, I think it is fair to say and remember that when we return to the openness, creativity, and childlike joy that we began our life with that we can return, after our hero’s journey, to that creative state that fosters a life well lived.
PS. I will continue my own exploration into consciousness through people, experiences, and the ever present learning through Creativity.
Create and be Well…
in Gratitude,
Brian R. Martens
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Brian writes poetry concerned with the “Human Condition”, and such topics as Awareness, Transformation, and Deep Intuition. He seeks to inspire and motivate people.
