How to have more impactful one-to-ones with your team.
As a manager, you can spend most of your time in one-to-one meetings with the team.
Most of these are spent looking back at what’s gone on since your last catch-up or looking at the present with the classic: ‘what have you got on at the moment?’.
When I changed the structure of my one-to-one meetings with my team, it completely changed the relationships I had with them and nearly all of them made a point of saying how much they looked forward to them — can you imagine that!
Only speak business if you have time.
Yes, you read that right.
Let’s face it, anyone who is a manager knows their team will ask them the questions they need when they pop into their head. Whether you’ve got your headphones in or not.
Personally, I prefer to have an ‘open door’ policy with the team (quite easy when you don’t have a door) so that the one-to-one meetings can be spent talking about them rather than working through a list of questions they’ve been storing up.
I think an honest relationship with the team is key. I would tell them if I will be working on something for a little while and would prefer no interruptions. Or, just go sit somewhere else for a little while so that you-at-your-desk = open door.
Always start with ‘how are you?’
Most of us probably do this but how many of us wait to hear the answer?
You’ll be surprised how much people are willing to open up when you ask the questions and shut your mouth for a second. And, if you get the stock answer “I’m fine”, ask again. “How are you, really?”. That usually gives people a shock.
I wanted to make sure my team knew I genuinely cared how they were and asking them when you get into the office or by the coffee machine does not allow someone who may not be okay to tell you about it.
But what if they go on and on for the whole meeting?
It is their meeting. So if they want to talk about their own stuff, let them.
I do caveat this, however. You are not a therapist, counselor or psychiatrist, so if they are going through some issues be clear with them you are there to sign-post and be quite assertive if they seem to be taking little-to-no-action between one conversation and the next.
Feedback, feedback, feedback
The second thing I do in every one-to-one meeting is give feedback, without fail, every time.
If you aren’t working closely enough with someone to have something to give them feedback on, then you’re not the best person to support their development.
The feedback doesn’t have to be anything massive, nor does it have to be “negative”.
Tell them what you liked about a piece of work they did, suggest something they could try differently next time or talk about the behaviour you observed in the team meeting.
Whatever it is, be specific and be constructive. I have a passion (maybe even a fetish) for feedback and wrote about it here.
Feedback is a two way street.
I also challenge my team to give me feedback each and every time as well. To begin with, I got blank faces or, “no, everything’s fine”. But when they realised I wasn’t giving up they soon started to come prepared with something, anything, to give me feedback on.
They might tell me what they enjoyed about the last team meeting, tell me about an email I forgot to read or an area they could do with more support on. Over time the feedback got more and more constructive and I learned a lot about my team and what they needed from me.
Every day is a school day
The last question I always ask my team is: “learned anything new?”.
Again, it was a slow starter with most of them looking confused, but they soon learned I wasn’t giving up on that either and to keep saying “no” started to get awkward.
The truth was they were learning but weren’t thinking about it in that way.
I really believe in getting your team to realise they’re learning every time they try something new, do something differently, or speak to someone they didn’t know.
By doing this they will feel 10x more developed despite never going on a 4-day residential course on how to be a complete legend.
So asking this question is one small way to start building a learning culture in your team and to remind your team they are the ones in charge of their development.
One last question…
This one is for you. When walking back to the desk, when getting your 12th coffee, or on your way home. Ask yourself: Did I make a difference?
