The desolate nihilism of O. Kaya’s game Connor. And some hope?
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This game has themes that suggest death or suicide.
O. is a person of few words, and their game Connor is similarly spare. You spend several long minutes driving along an endless road while a voice pipes up sometimes to urge you to drive off the edge. It turns out the road isn’t endless, and players all wind up in the same place.
How long have you been making games?
Since 2017.
What tools do you like to use?
Unity, Bosca Ceoil, Tinkercad, Blender, and LMMS.
What themes or genres do you like to explore?
I explore physics based stuff a lot but my more narrative games revolve around hopelessness.
What are your favorite and least favorite aspects of making games?
Favorite: prototyping new stuff, least favorite: finishing touches.
Is there a game that has affected you recently?
An Outcry, I did work on it but the storyline keeps shaking me.
[Editor’s note: I talked with An Outcry’s Quinn K. earlier this week.]
Connor is a narrative with a driving sim mechanic. What inspired you to make it?
A friend called Connor finished [a playthrough of] an older racing game of mine, DollKart. While I am proud of it, that game is a mess and it’s not supposed to be finished as it randomly generates a 1000 block map, roughly 8km [long]. No one but Connor ever reached the end.
The voice constantly urges Connor to drive off the cliff. How did you decide to do that?
I was quite depressed and felt a deep sense of pointlessness to life, I was also shocked anyone would spend as many hours on something I made as I felt it was not worth Connor’s effort. The voice is a reflection of my hopelessness at the time, but also represents me questioning why anyone would spend so much time on something that I made (and made to be quite hard to enjoy).
What was it like coding such a basically long drive? The playspace seems really big!
I wrote a script that automatically generated the road out of tiles, it’s exactly 8km because that’s what the original Connor drove.
I was surprised when the game ended. How did you decide where to stop?
Whether you look at it as a commentary on life or a questioning of why you would spend so much effort on a particular thing, Connor is completely devoid of hope. The point was that even if you resist the voice the road just ends and you get nothing extra. There are also 3 other endings which have the voice congratulating you for getting out early.
What do you hope players reflect on or take away from this game?
I would say the game is both an encouragement to get out of bad arrangements and avoid sunk cost fallacy. Though the more obvious and sad reading it has offers a window into the mind of what was a depressed, Queer teenager questioning if they should make more games or if their art was worth consuming or if life was worth living if it never got rewarding. I am doing a lot better now, but I think Connor is an interesting time capsule that many can pull many meanings out of.
I would hope for my own conscience that folks see that I am still alive and still making art, hence showing there is some light at the end of the tunnel, as much as the game would have you think otherwise.
