Lovesick Guy (part 1)
By Chris Quek
Julian had wanted to meet at her home, but she wasn’t in. The door lay ajar, beckoning him to enter.
He entered the living room, and went straight to the beeping telephone. She had left a voice message for him.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me over the past three years. I’m sorry. It just couldn’t work out.”
He had not done anything for her alone. Everything he did, it was for the both of them.
That was the final nail in the coffin. The bouquet of flowers he had gotten her dropped on the ground. When it landed, it landed noisely, but that was also the sound of all the bouquets he had bought for her being crushed on the ground. It was the sound of that beautiful porcelain vase he bought for valentine’s day two years ago, with two months of his salary, breaking apart at his feet.
Among all the broken shards and wilted petals, Julian’s heart lay. That night, he drunk himself to sleep.
That was two years ago.
There was a girl at the bar which Julian frequented who caught Julian’s attention.
Unlike other liquor chugging, back slapping, happy hugging patrons, Julian always brought a book about investing to read. In the two years since he broke up with his girlfriend (or was it his fiance? Were they that close? He had forgotten already.), he had pushed himself to make something out of his life. He had turned to trading, and now he was a successful day trader, making a sizeable income from buying low and selling high.
That was a profitable profession that took care of his needs during the day. Then night would descend, and he found himself surrounded by the four walls of his house alone. The fact was, he was lonely. Day trading, and the pursuit of Warren Buffet-esque perfection in the stock markets was a difficult path that consumed his energy. Yet, it could not drown out the melancholic melody of his loneliness.
As he turned a page of his book, instead of looking at the page, he found himself staring at that girl sitting at the counter. She had shoulder length blonde hair, and a well distinguished face and an air of maturity. Damn, that felt perfect for Julian. Since she entered his sights, he had not registered anything he read at all.
He counted his money, and found he could afford a few more drinks. He chuckled to himself and gulped down the rest of his liquor. As the warm rush filled his body, he walked towards the bar.
He stopped right beside the woman and placed his forearm on the bar. She looked at him, smiled pleasantly, and shifted her arms slightly to make space.
“Two shots of tequila, please.” Julian called out. The woman, who had been looking into blank space, stole a look at him. When the bartender placed the drinks on the counter, Julian paid the money and slid a shot towards the woman. “This is for you.” He said.
“I already have mine.” The woman said, pointing to a half drunken glass of booze lying on the counter.
“It’s fine.” Julian said. “This is on my account.”
“What makes me think that you didn’t spike this drink?” She asked. The corners of her eyes smiled at him, as he thought of a suitable reply.
“To prove my innocence,” Julian said as he reached into his pocket, “Here’s my id card.” The woman bent forward and squinted at the card he waved in the darkness. Julian found the assurance he had been looking for in her eyes.
The woman took the glass on the counter and gulped down the tequila in one shot. “Okay, Julian, what do you want from me?”
“Your name.”
“Christy.” She said disinterestedly.
“Nice to meet you, Christy!” Julian said, feeling a big grin rise on his lips uncontrollably. He was certain he looked like a complete fool. On Christy’s face a grin appeared, equally big. “You too, Julian!” She said.
“Why did you come here?” Julian asked.
Their conversation lasted for about an hour. Julian was especially interested in her, and Christy did not hold back in her sharing.
Julian found their lives to be more or less on the same path. They both had lovers who they loved very much, who ditched them without any warning. They both had been stuck in inertia before deciding to bounce back better and become better versions of themselves,
Julian found her fascinating. He had been clutching at straws since his previous relationship ended. Christy had a vibe that radiated through her body. It was an air of cheerfulness and a lack of care. What he saw in her, was he felt something that he wanted, but could not have.
After their hour-long conversation, Julian still wanted to still talk to her, but Christy had to go. Julian spent the night turning and roiling in his bed, unable to get her out of his mind.
The next night he returned to the bar. Christy was still there. This time he made a beeline for her, and this time she did not withdraw from him. They talked this time, for another hour, after which Christy had to leave.
After that hour Julian was giddy with joy. As he went back home, his mind ran through the events of the day, auditing through each one, filtering out the grey matter of memory and leaving only all the signs that Christy loved him. That night, he could not sleep. He was going to pop her the question.
The next day, Julian’s mind was unable to register all that was being said or done at work. When night finally descended, too quickly and too slowly, adrenaline was coursing through his veins like a stream of gushing water. He entered the bar and saw her still sitting at the counter, blissfully unaware of the bombshell he was going to drop.
The gravity of the situation shook him from head to toe. Failure loomed like a dark entity in the room. Consciously he pushed these thoughts away. It was going to be all or nothing. And he didn’t want to think about nothing.
He approached Christy, watching in slow motion her eyes light up at him, and hurriedly rushed the question out of his mouth. He saw her smile visibly drop.
When Julian woke up the next day, he wondered how he had managed to even sleep. The memories of the previous night came back like a gush of water, flooding him.
As he walked out of his bedroom, and in the vast expanse of his living room he felt the four walls of loneliness close in on him like never before. His mind gravitated back to Christy, but that led him to the tragedy of the pevious night. He did not want to think of that.
It did not hurt as much as the time he broke up with his girlfriend/fiance, but it sure as hell hurt a lot.
He could feel his sex drive running out of his body. The last time he experienced that was when he broke up with his fiance. He did not want history to repeat itself ever again, but the truth of the matter was, he was always a lovesick guy.
