Why Smart Women Get Bad Behavior From Men
The alternative method to becoming your man’s free life coach
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You might be surprised to know that although I write this blog all about the unconscious mind of men in relationships, I do not coach my man. I am fully retired. If we talk post-breakup, I will then make some points about what I think happened. I am usually right, this is my job after all. But in the relationship, unless I am directly asked for my opinion on why my man is being weird, I try VERY hard not to move into any kind of coaching role. I will ask good questions and listen to gain understanding. That seems to be appreciated and supportive. I am willing to give space, if its communicated. But I do not want to take on the labor of becoming the coach-mom-boss to my love interest. That will turn me off. It will also displace the weight of the relationship onto me. Also, just no. I get paid for this, it’s not a free bonus of being my partner.
I now use all the energy that I used to use decoding my partners on myself. I try to show up vulnerably and listen well, even when it’s very hard. I work on my triggers and my wounds but I am also more honest about my capacity. I try to make really amazing invitations. I take part in tense negotiations when needed. Even if the…