Update. Malaga. Seville. Granada.

“Everything is complicated”. How many times have you heard it from your friend or relative? Unfortunately, it is abullshit. Job can be complicated, maybe relationships or a task. But definately not everything.

Seville, Spain’16

How I got here? Check “How everything has started”.
Since I moved to Spain many people have asked me “How are you? How is your job? How is it, to live in Spain? How is it to be alone?”. I would respond all the time the same “Everything is complicated”. But since I’ve stated that it is bullshit, I need tocomment on that.

• How am I. Complicated as never before. I am sick for the second time in this month. I am undecicive, because I am cold (yes, it is warm, but I am sick, so get over with that — I am cold), I am lonely, I live in a mess, I don’t really know how to work and I can’t learn the freaking language. So I am sooooo complicated that I don’t know how to adult at all.
• How is my job. It is comlicated. We do not have an agenda, I need to come up with something I do know and I have no resources. So that greatly sucks. No more questions.
• How is it to live in Spain? It is amazing! And it is complicated if you are Russinan, or just non-EU resident. I needed to collect a huge pile with all possible documents I could find to apply for TRP and it is not over yet. It takes so much time and I am so tired. I need to wait for my criminal record from Lithuania to be delivered and then to wait for the decision whether I can stay here it not. It is exhausting.
• How is it to be alone. It is horrible. I am not alone and even lonely most of the times, but it seems like everything would be better with the close ones. It seems like everyone I know will leave in a couple of month and I willl end up alone again. Is it life? Is it how it is gonna happen from now on?

Yeah, I am tired and I am complicated. I can’t motivate myself even being in the country I was dreaming about for so long. What’s wrong. This uncertainty kills me. Slowly. And I want to move on.