I’m working a lot on myself to accomplish seven main things:
- Become more self-aware, find what my true values are.
- Do what makes me happy everyday.
- Act with integrity in all circumstances.
- Build trust with people.
- Reduce suffering from stress and compulsive thinking.
- Enjoy the journey more than the end results.
- Eliminate mental limitations as much as possible.
We hear a lot of people talking about the business books that changed their lives: “the 10 business books, every entrepreneur should read”, “35 business books to become successful” but I realized that the books that have impacted the most the way I approach business are “spiritual” books. I selected the two books that had the most impact:
1 — The Four Toltec Agreements
by Don Miguel Ruiz
Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
The judgment we make of others are just a reflection of the judgment we make of ourselves. By being impeccable with my word I became more positive with my thoughts. I started spreading trust and kindness around me and stopped hurting people (on purpose or not). I loved myself and others more. This is crucial in building long term relationships and trust in business. I earned more respect by being kind and wise with my word that I would ever earn by being aggressive and disrespectful.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Taking things personally was a real cause of suffering for me. When you think about it is just a choice: you decide to take something personally and you suffer, or you decide to let go or forgive and your well being is not impacted. In business, taking things personally was making me do a lot of mistakes and biased my evaluations of the situations. By not taking things personally I became proactive.
I also realized that the less self-esteem I have, the more I tend to take things personally. It’s just a way to monitor how I truly feel about myself. By reversing the process and by not taking anything personally, I increased my self-esteem, and became in control of my well-being. I’m less vulnerable and it’s visible from the outside. It is obviously having a positive impact in my business.
Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.
Making assumptions is slowing us down really badly. I want to believe anything is possible and I’m constantly fighting against my own limitations. By making false assumptions, I was already planning to fail (“this is too much”, “this is too hard”, “I’m too young”, etc.) There are no limits when no assumptions are made. Assumptions are the limit.
I also set expectations properly in business to make sure everyone is on the same page, without making assumptions that everybody thinks the same way as I do. My clients appreciate that and respect me when I cannot do something for them as it is always clearly discussed beforehand.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.
By doing my best I avoid self-judgement, self abuse and regret. Note that my best is not a false illusion of perfection, and it is not a comparison with the “best” of other people.
2 — The power of Now
by Eckhart Tolle
“Accept — then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.”
The Power of Now taught me to be more present and to enjoy the journey. The only thing that will ever exist is the present moment, all the rest a mental creation and mostly an illusion. Doing things that do not make me happy and believing fulfillment will come from future accomplishments were the wrong path.
“…the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions.”
Every future moment will manifest itself as the present moment. Any past moment manifested itself as present moment. When I understood the power of this concept, I realized that nothing justify sacrificing the present moment in the name of the past or the future. No time-related suffering is legitimate, as the present moment is the most important thing that will ever be.
It’s not about rejecting effort (or pain), it’s about embracing it as part of the process and giving it as much importance as the end goal.
“Don’t let a mad world tell you that success is anything other than a successful present moment.”
There are no reasons not to be in peace now. All external circumstances that we might be waiting for are in fact the manifestation of internal dysfunctions. We have thousands of things to be grateful for every second.
“Instead of asking, “what do I want from life?,” a more powerful question is, “what does life want from me?”
Once the compulsive thinking is identified as dysfunctional, you create a distance between you and your thoughts: they are not as important or urgent as they appear. You can observe your thoughts as they arise without judging them (that is also the essence of meditation). It allowed me to become more self-aware, to listen to my emotions and body sensations. I know what my values are, I have more integrity.
This helps me a lot to stay focus on the things that really matter: vision, long term goals and actions towards them.
“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.” — Eckhart Tolle
Of course I’m not 100% perfect in applying these concepts in my life, and I believe nobody can be. But by understanding why they matter, and by monitoring my behavior and reactions, I am able to adjust often and to achieve more.
I also understood the power of integrity and the danger of the ego in business . My life has dramatically changed since I’ve started working on myself and I have accomplished more in 2015 alone, than all the years before combined.
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