David CalkinsHallmark Releases Limited-Edition Chocolate-Filled Human HeartHallmark Cards Inc. announced this week the release of a limited-edition chocolate-filled human heart, available in the Valentine’s Day…Mar 12, 2019Mar 12, 2019
David CalkinsOur Sex Life Used to Be Great, Then We Got a Stop SignOur sex life wasn’t always bad. For a while there it seemed like we had sex frequently in a well-lit, neutral-toned bedroom. We’d get…Jan 30, 2019Jan 30, 2019
David CalkinsI’ll Believe Climate Scientists When I See Them Holding Test Tubes of Bubbly Blue LiquidA lot of people out there have already made up their minds that climate change is real. But as a climate skeptic, I’ll need more than…Jan 30, 2019Jan 30, 2019
David CalkinsI broke the rules of comedy, and it was super fun.There’s a rule in comedy writing that states you should only have one “weird” thing at a time in your joke or story. I intentionally broke…Jan 30, 2019Jan 30, 2019
David CalkinsI wrote some ad copy for Blaffo Magazine.Sometimes it’s good to branch out from comedy and try other forms of writing. I’m happy to report that I’ve written my first piece of ad…Nov 15, 2018Nov 15, 2018
David CalkinsInscription On Twin Towers Keychain Reminds Teen To Never Forget KeysThis piece originally appeared on Robot Butt.Feb 9, 2017Feb 9, 2017
David CalkinsDeregulated CDC Handwashing GuidelinesThis piece originally appeared on McSweeney’s:Jan 24, 2017Jan 24, 2017
David CalkinsNew Hair-loss Shampoo Penetrates Even Deeper Into Roots of Male InsecurityNote: This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt.Jan 22, 2017Jan 22, 2017
David CalkinsSuperpowers I Have Attained From My First 6 Weeks of Improv ClassNote: This piece originally appeared on the Second City Network.Jan 21, 2017Jan 21, 2017
