How to: Watch horror movies and not lose your sh*t

“You’re crazy!!!!! Nope I don’t watch scary movies.”

“Yikes I can’t watch scary movies.”

“That’s gonna be a no from me dawg.”

This is a sampler platter of responses I’ve gotten to my recently published horror reviews. While I expected this, it made me really sad to see how many people are out there who are missing out on an entire genre of film. I understand that for some people, watching horror is truly not a mental, psychological, and/or emotional possibility. It is up to you to define your own boundaries, but before you declare that you “can’t” watch horror, I strongly encourage you to test your limits, at least a little bit.

But I get it, because I was there once, too. I watched “The Ring” at 12 years old and it ruined the horror genre for me for almost a decade. I used to cry if the TV showed static, especially if it was accompanied by white noise at maximum volume. That stuff still freaks me out. Just the other day, my Nintendo Switch had a bad connection to the TV that made the audio sound static-y and I actually had to leave the room. (My boyfriend ended up fixing it… the HDMI cable wasn’t plugged in all the way.)

This is actual heart rate data captured by my FitBit from the night my boyfriend conned me into playing a video game called “The Forest.” “It’s just a survival game,” he said. Yeah, well I was a bit surprised when I stumbled upon human heads on spikes, at which point I promptly gave up the controller and watched as he played. He promptly got lost in a cave system and chased by horrifying monsters… cue spike in heart rate.

To be able to scare an entire audience of diverse people, these films have to play with some very basic components of the human psyche, and there are very real physiological effects to the feeling of fear (see example). I would argue that part of the problem a lot of people have with horror stems from the fact that we just aren’t exercising our fear muscles, unlike our ancestors. I, for one, can’t remember the last time I checked over my shoulder on the way to the bus stop to check for saber tooths.

Ok, so you’ve decided to de-bubble wrap your movie watching experience. Below are my tips and recommendations for becoming a horror fan for the first (or, as was my case, second) time. Note: I am not trying to say any of these movies are outright good/bad, but might be good/bad for someone just starting to get into the genre.

1. Don’t be afraid of being afraid. Being at least a little uncomfortable is the point! You aren’t just allowed, you are encouraged to feel these feelings. Let them in and acknowledge them. Movies that you can really feel: “Midsommar” (2019), “I Am Legend” (2007)
2. Ease yourself into horror. You don’t have to scare yourself to death, especially not at the beginning! Movies not for beginners: “The Blair Witch Project” (1999), “The Conjuring” (2013), “Paranormal Activity” (2007), “The Evil Dead” (2013)
3. Understand what scares you. I, for example, refuse to watch anything underwater; I cannot handle it. On the other hand, I have a lot of fun watching supernatural horror (this is my sophisticated way of saying I like ghosts). There are many subtypes of horror; pick one that isn’t going to keep you awake for 72 hours straight. Some good subgenres to start with might be: comedy horror (Do watch “Shaun of the Dead” (2004); Don’t watch “Dead Snow” (2014)), holiday horror (Do watch “You Better Watch Out” (2017)); Don’t watch “Krampus” (2015)), or cyber horror (Do watch “Cam” (2018); Don’t watch “Unfriended” (2014)).
4. Get the viewing conditions right. No matter what anyone else says, you don’t have to watch horror alone, or with the lights off, or at night. Watch with someone, during the day, snuggle up to something fuzzy (e.g. a dog), and nosh on some popcorn (because carbs are happiness’s physical form). I won’t even tell you to not cover your eyes, because I know you’re better than that anyway. You can pause the movie and take a breather to practice tip #5. Movies to watch during the day: “Don’t Breathe” (2016), “It Follows” (2014)
5. Remember that it is a simulated thrill. There is no actual threat when you watch a horror movie. Your body is just interpreting it as real, because human bodies are kind of dumb like that. The physiological effects you feel are normal, and can be made bearable with a little mind-over-matter training (though you may find that these effects can become quite fun!). Movies to pause when it gets too intense: “A Quiet Place” (2018), “The Babadook” (2014)
6. You’ll get used to it. No one starts out as a horror fan. When you watch your first horror movie, your brain’s instinct is to label it as a negative experience (really, why wouldn’t it?). But the more you expose your brain to horror, the more it will learn to enjoy it— it’s kind of like an acquired taste. You might even find (as I have) that you need to start seeking out greater and greater thrills to satisfy your horror needs. If you want to learn more about this idea, check out Hidden Brain’s podcast “Hungry, Hungry Hippocampus”.

Hopefully this helps at least one person out there to enjoy this entire genre of film! If you have any other tips that I missed, please share them below!