a poem of grief, yearning, emptiness, & hope.

Love,

in your leaving,

i am an empty shell.

once full of Joy,

bubbling over, i was

warm sparkly sunlight…

where you once wrapped

your warm, loving arms

around me - now,

a cold, gapping hole.

where laughter once danced,

and connection simply flowed,

there is a lake of loneliness.

without you,

there is no place to turn -

no warm space to look forward to

at the days end.

where we once danced,

holding each other close in the candlelight

& embracing our togetherness - now

there is only emptiness.

[Dear reader,

I hope you are holding up well amidst the chaos.

There is a lot of grief going around at the moment. There is much violence and suffering. There is much oppression and exploitation. There is much sadness and darkness and loneliness and isolation. There is much sickness, and death. There is a lot to grieve for.

This poem is about grief and loss. It is centered around how those themes show up within the transformation and disillusionment of romantic relationships/partnerships.

My life has been quite consumed by grief as of late. The past few months have been a chaotic and unexpected upheaval of the entire layout of my life. Within two months everything my life was built on (the dreams, the beliefs, the love, etc.) changed. I moved, the person I had loved and lived with for the past year moved, my job dynamic changed completely, my relationship to my academic life changed, my friend circles changed, the world changed (becoming increasingly dark, although perhaps this is not a change and just a continuation of the way things are?) and I changed.

So, after all of that, what remains?

I hope - that loving, aware Prescence remains.

I hope - that my authenticity, integrity, honesty, and kindness toward others remains.

I hope - that my innate strength and capacity to persevere despite challenges remains.

I hope - that my capacity to believe, and dream, and hope for the future remains.

I know - that a connection to the Universe, Great Spirit, The Earth Mother, MA, Shechinah remains (because I feel it when I become still and listen).

I know - that Love (not romantic love, but a greater, more epic, stronger, unbreakable LOVE) remains.

I know - that light follows darkness. That growth comes from struggle.

I know - that building community and resilience and resistance and strengthening inner capacity, is possible and valuable.

I know that this body (that carries what I refer to as “me”) is alive. That the Earth is alive.

I know that life will always have elements of suffering, and also of Joy. Of pain, and also of Beauty. Of grief, and also of Love.

In this moment, I choose to focus on the Love.

Until the next time, may you be well. May you be at peace within yourself, and may there be peace around you. May you be safe, and warm, and fed with nourishing food.

You can read my latest poem here, and the rest of my poetic musings can be absorbed here. Thanks for your time, attention, and care in reading this until the end — I appreciate you (yes, you ;).

xo,

Dev]