My Transformation: I Still See a Fat Guy in the Mirror.
In my last ‘My Transformation’ post I talked about how hard we need to work to achieve our goals, sustainable goals, and that it does not happen over night — it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Yet …
… despite all this hard work, I still see a fat guy in the mirror … sometimes.
Always building confidence
People who know me well, especially my wife, joke about how I am constantly looking at myself in any reflective surface, flexing, smiling and getting off on myself … seriously I do :)
It’s not all ego … granted, I do like looking at myself and seeing my new muscles glisten in that shiny surface when I get out of the shower, but I worked damn hard for it and why should I not be able to enjoy it?
But, if I am being honest, really honest, a lot of the time I still see imperfection. I see that fat guy from 2 years ago staring back at me.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy with my results and my self confidence has never been better. I don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable at the gym anymore. I have no fear of taking my shirt off in public places like the beach or pool. And I genuinely feel good in my new wardrobe.
Not long ago I was the fat, loud, funny guy at the party. As far as anyone else knew I was comfortable with myself … but that was an act. I hated myself, especially the way I looked. It was very difficult getting out of bed most mornings looking in the mirror and not feeling good about myself.
But all that has changed … right?
Fight the good fight
That’s what I do everyday — keep fighting the good fight! I have no choice. I know what I want and where I want to be and that keeps me going every day.
And, I know I am not alone in this fight. There are millions of people out there, male and female, young and old, dealing with issues of insecurity. Most people are unfortunately unhappy with who they are, and that is the most difficult thing to overcome.
Shedding the weight and getting fit was easy … shedding years of self-doubt, anxiety, awkwardness, embarrassment and loathing … that is the real challenge.
But, alas I’m still here, and kicking ass everyday and feeling great about it. I have very few moments of unhappiness anymore, but like Picasso said “A painting is never done — they just stop at interesting places”. Well, I’m here … in an interesting place.
Honestly, I’m happy
Not that I need to convince you, or myself by making that statement. But, I am truly happy. When that fat guy stares back at me in the mirror, I look him dead in the eyes and tell him “You’re good enough, you’re strong enough and doggone it, people like you” lol … those of you old enough to remember this SnL skit get it :) As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true. I am all those things, and hopefully you are too.
So just remember the next time you see me looking at my self in a mirror, or anyone for that matter, take a second to think about what they may have overcome and know that it is not all ego.
I’ll leave you with this:
I Don’t Think There’s A Good Excuse For Being Unhappy. I’m Not Particularly Unhappy, But I Know What Pain Is. I think That Life Is Characterized By Pain, Partly. Part Of The Way You Can Tell You’re Alive Is By How Much Pain You’re Experiencing, Or How Little.
— Jerry Garcia
