Sign in

I coach, write and teach on topics of personal growth and spiritual enquiry. doug-fraley.com

Forget praise, criticism and comparison; you hold all the validation you need.

Photo via iStock

Real confidence has nothing to do with knowing you’re doing things better than others or even doing them correctly. Healthy self-worth, hand-in-hand with humility, is grounded in the trust that you are being your best in all the situations life brings you. Realise this truth and enjoy freedom!

The Shackles of Approval

If you…

A teaching on the inherent perfection of imperfection.

Although Peter Brown spent decades pursuing practices and philosophies from a wide range of spiritual traditions, he now realises and teaches that no practice or philosophy is required for enlightenment. He invites us to pursue these if we wish but warns they are likely to get in the way. …

Interpreting a spiritual anarchist’s early guidance.

Photo by Jeremy Thomas on Unsplash

Like his contemporary, J. Krishnamurti, Osho opened new doors to truths that for many had become dead. The two did not get along. Perhaps Osho’s self-professed madness clashed with Krishnamurti’s earnestness. Still, each in his way rejected intellectual, social and spiritual tradition. …

It’s easier than you think, but only after you get out of your own way.

Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash

What if we knew our life’s purpose with absolute clarity? What energy we could draw on! How free we would be from worrying about unimportant noise and distraction! Our hearts and attention could flow fully along the right path.

Even better, imagine we understood how to fulfil it. This sounds…

Upgrading the narrative of fear and isolation.

Photo by Steven Su on Unsplash

It’s so easy to see life through A Story of Isolation and Fear, but we can escape from that story by visiting four alternatives.

A Story of Courageous Curiosity

Based in the Vipassana tradition of Theravada Buddhism and in the western Heart Path, this story changes our relationship with pain and confusion. …

The fortress of the ideal self is also a prison.

Photo by Dallas Reedy on Unsplash

We move from goal to goal and want to want — seeking, achieving, acquiring. No success satisfies the unnameable vacancy we harbour.

Meanwhile, we each defend the ‘me’ at the centre of this search, protecting it from outside attack and disciplining ourselves to maintain its ideal against internal shortfall. …

He built team excellence on presence, oneness and creativity (plus MJ, Kobe and Shaq…).

Photo via PickPic

Phil Jackson has won more NBA titles than any other head coach. He managed two of the game’s all-time greats in MJ and Kobe, as well as one of basketball’s most complex personalities in Dennis Rodman.

His famous triangle offense aside, Jackson puts his success down to how he helped…

Test a new perspective to trade struggle for flow.

Photo by Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash

We carry unnecessary emotional backpacks through life. The more we see them in their proper context, the more frequently we can set them aside. They may always accompany us, but we needn’t bear their weight.

Reality’s quality check

Life sometimes rejects our demands. Although we want things one way, they turn out another…

You don’t have to like everything and everyone.

The Stoics counsel amor fati or ‘love of fate’, while Zen and other Buddhist paths encourage the related practice of acceptance. A photo sometimes accompanies the text promoting these virtues; it shows us a peaceful person, smiling with unfurrowed brow. …

Awakening doesn’t bring all the answers, but it changes the relationship with uncertainty.

Photo by Nong Vang on Unsplash

Life cursed me as a young student.

After one too many hits of a powerful hallucinogenic, I developed an addiction I’ve struggled decades to escape. The drug? Being right. Once I got a taste, I couldn’t go without it. …

Doug Fraley

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store