My Reintroduction To Judaism
Part 18 of a Multi-Part Series “Towards Religion and Meaning”
Note: This is a multi-part series, if you haven’t read the previous posts, I highly recommend checking them out to catch-up before proceeding, here.
- Part One: Why I Turned Away From G-d
- Part Two: Declaring My Atheism
- Part Three: The Repugnancy of Religion
- Part Four: The Superficiality And Thoughtlessness of Religion
- Part Five: The Silencing of Religion
- Part Six: It’s Cool To Be An Atheist
- Part Seven: “Culturally Jewish”
- Part Eight: I Am The Seeker
- Part Nine: Stealing Fire
- Part Ten: Phish — The Ultimate Spiritual Experience
- Part 11: Chained to the Loom
- Part 12: Quitting My Job To Pursue My Dream
- Part 13: The Hell of Entrepreneurship
- Part 14: Suffering From Too Much Freedom
- Part 15: Are You Committed?
- Part 16: The Simple Formula For Purpose
- Part 17: The Need For Community
In the past, when people had invited me to partake in some religious activity, I had found it a bit empty and more habitual than anything else. However, when a friend of mine invited me to study with he and his Rabbi one night, it seemed completely different.
This friend of mine, like me, had been deeply skeptical of Judaism and had been easing into it over the past few months — finding a lot of peace and clarity along the way. To a degree, the two of us had been cut from the same thread and were raised by people who, themselves, knew little about Judaism. As both of us are seekers, the lack of answers and thoughtfulness around the religion drove us away. So, I took his word (as a fellow critical thinker) a bit more seriously.
Arriving at the house of the Rabbi, we sat and began to review one of the attributes of Tomer Devorah which talked about “Ba’al Teshuvah”, or a Jew from a secular background who becomes religiously observant; a fitting introduction for my first time studying with his Rabbi.
While there wasn’t a lot of text to review, we spent about an hour and a half critically analyzing and discussing it. While I appreciated the deep-dive, the things which struck me most included the following:
- Despite having a wealth of knowledge relating to Judaism, the Rabbi was always open to hearing new perspectives and humored every question that I had.
- If there was ever a question he was unsure of, he would own that fact and proceed to look through his library for a related text which might hold the answer — he would never assert something that he was unsure of.
- Throughout the night, he was deeply animated and enthusiastic — the passion in his voice was palpable.
These were the things I felt I had been missing my entire childhood. Much like myself, this Rabbi was seeking truth and willing to question everything that he believed in its pursuit. It was an intellectual side of Judaism which had evaded me all these years.
So, I decided to come back the next week. And then to attend Shabbat. And then Shabbat lunch. What I found was a diverse group of people who all identified with one another in their mission to serve G-d. And while on this mission, they were encouraged to stay curious and always been learning.
My idea of Judaism was changing. From the once homogeneous group of people who prayed for reasons they didn’t know in a language they didn’t understand to a group of deeply thoughtful individuals who would often debate aspects of Judaism amongst themselves with plenty of scripture and text in hand to back them up.
To me, it was beginning to feel like Judaism could offer you whatever it was you were seeking. Honestly, I think most religions could afford this, but this group I was now associating with was unlike any other religious group I had ever been around — I loved it. And this love would only be furthered by the first fully Hasidic shabbat that I would attend in a few weeks.
