Randyduke – Medium

Published in The Pub

·3 hours ago

THE GUS’S PERUVIAN GUIDEBOOK’ PROUDLY PRESENTS:

THE GUS’S PERUVIAN GUIDEBOOK’ PROUDLY PRESENTS: Peruvians Independence Day! One fined-ass day on 9, Dec. 1824, Simón Bolívar’s awesome lieutenant, Antonio José de Sucre, beat the piss out of the Spanish. The locals thought this was neat, so they decided to throw a party, and Peruvian Independence Day was born. …

Travel

1 min read

THE GUS’S PERUVIAN GUIDEBOOK’ PROUDLY PRESENTS:

Travel

1 min read

Published in Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Blogs

·Mar 25

MEANWHILE, BACK IN LIMA. . .

‘Oohs’ and ‘ahhhs’ as tourists jostle over to our side of the bus, and I’m up close and personal with a gringa grandma’s armpit folds. …

Creative Writing

4 min read

Creative Writing

4 min read

Published in Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Blogs

·Mar 20

MEANWHILE, BACK IN LIMA. . .

Ahhhhhhhh. This is it. High up. Floating in the traffic-light cloud cover while perched on a double-decker tour bus built like a giant red tank. The semi-sane way to deal with Lima’s gridlock. The first dozen or so rides here are like being stuck in an absurd virtual reality game…

Creative Writing

4 min read

Creative Writing

4 min read

Published in Of Pisco and Peru

·Mar 13

‘THE GUS’S PERUVIAN GUIDEBOOK’ PROUDLY PRESENTS:

The Conquest of the Incas, Pt. 2 The flies ain’t even done puking up they digestive juices over Atahualpa’s dead corpse when Pizarro picks some poor geek named Tupac Huallpa to be the new, official puppet-in-chief. But Tupac can’t even makes it through his 90 days probationated period before the biggie smallpox disease decides he’s a bad…

Creative Writing

6 min read

Creative Writing

6 min read

Published in Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Blogs

·Mar 6

Of Pisco and Peru

The Colca Canyon — “A little to the left,” Auntie M commands. A sun-filled, chilly day in the Colca Canyons. The caravan of tour buses parks on the side of the road after dropping us travel geeks off at the Cruz del Condor. …

Travel

6 min read

Travel

6 min read

Feb 23

peruOf Pisco and Peru: Arequipa

The Ice Maiden — I’m nervous. I hate blind dates. It’s a breezy, sun-filled day in the altitude of Arequipa and Auntie M and I are slowly huffing along the main square. Auntie M lets out a belly laugh, her eyes glued to my future date’s profile page on her iPhone. “Awww. You two…

Peru

5 min read

Peru

5 min read

Published in Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Blogs

·Feb 19

THE GUS’S PERUVIAN GUIDEBOOK’ PROUDLY PRESENTS:

Chapter Eight: The Lines of Nazca In 1927 Peruvian Archaeologist Toribio Mejia Xesspe was chillin’ out all villain-like on some Nazca river basin hills bout 250 miles South of Lima when he sees some odd shit: Massive Etch A Sketchings of humans, insects, birds, fishies, and spiders with trippy designs…

Travel

4 min read

Travel

4 min read

Published in Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Blogs

·Feb 16

‘THE GUS’S PERUVIAN GUIDEBOOK’ (not so) PROUDLY PRESENTS: WHAT’S IN A NAMES?’

Hitler returns to power in a historic showdown against his long-time pain-in-the-commie-ass, Lennin. It sounds loco but is true. In a chicha beerhall putsch, Hitler Guesclin Alba Sánchez out-llama- krieged his bitter rival Lennin Vladimir Rodríguez Valverde in the race for mayor in the small Peruvian town of Yungar. Hitler-mania…

Satire

2 min read

‘THE GUS’S PERUVIAN GUIDEBOOK’ (not so) PROUDLY PRESENTS: WHAT’S IN A NAMES?’

Satire

2 min read

Published in Of Pisco and Peru

·Feb 13

Of Pisco and Peru: Arequipa

The White City — Enshrouded in darkness, pleasant and restful. Faint, random popping noises counter notes of Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata’ off in a vague distance. Was it coming from inside the room with the piano? No. Was it a recording. . . probably. . . not? There’s an unsteadiness to the notes. No. Definitely…

Peru

4 min read

Peru

4 min read

Published in Of Pisco and Peru

·Feb 11

Of Pisco and Peru: Nazca

A Phone Call with Gus Shit. I’m doomed. Pacing in front of a green mom-and-pop fruteria while smacking my cursed phone against my thigh. Fuck! Think for a second. Yes. I’ve got the number on speed dial. “Time for a little pow wow.” Four rings already. Answer the damn phone…

Nazca

4 min read

Nazca

4 min read