Guide, Me
I have been quiet for years: holding my tongue in conversations, watching rather than intervening, avoiding storytelling, and meditating a lot. I was listening for what to do with my life. For a long while, I found a calling that was not quite a profession, call it “deep listening”. Today, I decided to formalize my calling as a spiritual guide to focus my life on the biggest questions.
What’s a Guide?
Although I have long considered teaching, I wanted to wait until I discovered something absolutely true, something undeniably worth sharing. Although I believe this truth exists, I don’t know if or when I will reach it. I am now convinced it is a matter of grace, and therefore out of my hands. Yet, something draws some people to come into contact with me and ask for guidance.
Perhaps they are drawn by my life experience. I’ve traveled a lot, studied and prayed in many religions, read a bunch of history and science, spoken a few languages, had many kinds of jobs, facilitated healing in my family, investigated my mind, found my art, and danced my way to body awareness. As such, I’m a bridge between many things. It is from my life experience that wisdom arose.
I aim to apply this wisdom to help other people, as if I were on a snowy Himalayan mountain path. Although I climbed a certain trail yesterday, today it may be impassable. What my body can do, based on its present physique and past experience, may be quite different than what your body or past experience enables. I cannot know exactly what it’s like to be you, ever. So guiding is less of an exact science and more of an intuitive art. At best, there is a resonance created between inner and outer guide, which we might feel through conversation or body language.
Spiritual guidance is not a material good to be bought and sold. It can only be inspired in the moment. Because I cannot know precisely what is given or received, it doesn’t make sense to charge a price or promise some result. Our interaction can only be like a pleasant conversation amongst friends. Enter at will, leave at will. Bring a gift when inspired. I accept pledges or donations freely offered.
It’s a relief to finally focus life on what I find most meaningful: being in conversation with people asking life’s biggest questions. Who am I? What am I here to do? Why do I despair? The most tangible aspect of the spiritual path is in our relationships. So I’m also inspired to ask with you: How do I heal with my family? How can I act with integrity in love and work?
My spiritual path includes becoming more aware of the ways I’m limited. I am learning that guiding, while conscious of these limitations, is itself my spiritual practice. I practice non-attachment when people come and go, with outcomes I cannot influence, or when my intention is misunderstood. I practice humility in the face of suffering I cannot help or understand. As our culture critically examines how power has been abused, I practice bringing awareness to my own demons as they arise and pass. I practice acting from a centered place, and admitting when I make a mistake. In all times, I aim to avoid giving “advice” or “knowledge” and instead respond to the moment.
What am I going to do?
I have begun by writing. My path often converges in the words of Nisargadatta Maharaj, so I will explore his work and other ideas that have inspired me, especially ideas from Buddhism. For some years I avoided sharing my story in order to loosen attachment to my own identity. This can be a bit dry, though. I will share stories to give context for the things I learned along the way. I learned from my previous blog not to be overly complicated or cute. Now I aim to be simple, direct, and inspired.
I will continue in dialogue. At my best, I am a listener, a “spiritual friend”, whose love and compassion allows people to see themselves more clearly. I’m available for having conversations with groups or individuals, regularly or intermittently. I resolve to resist monologue or lecture, and to respond only to what the moment asks of me.
I confess that this essay is only a signpost for my own uncertain journey. I don’t know where this journey ends, only that I’m committed to experiencing each moment along the way. I invite your support in helping me toward my highest calling for the benefit of all beings.
