2023/10/03; Random Thought About Comparing Ourself With Others
How often do you compare yourself with others? That question marks our third day of this writing challenge.
I’ve talked about a similar topic in this medium post. But in that writing, I’ve mainly talked about how hard it is sometimes for me to be happy for others–which leads to finding the main cause of doing it so; comparing myself to others. And I’ll talk about that further tonight.
When I’m being asked with that kind of question, I’ve always answered it first with another question: what’s wrong with comparing ourselves to others? As long as it benefits us in any way, such as motivating us to do better (without tearing each other in the process), why do people always make it sound like it’s a bad thing to do so? Some people often say that too much comparison leads to unhappiness and low self-esteem. It will make us become frustrated with ourselves for “not being good enough,” or angry with others. But what if it doesn’t?
I think we cannot do things without comparing; I always think that comparison is a kind of several standards that we have to reach. We can’t just do things (in this case: job/school responsibility) as we want and stop as we please–we have to compare ours with some kind of requirements. To finally be able to tell that our work is done and we can move to another goal.
Comparison is a natural human tendency. I believe we did that on a daily basis. I did that almost every day, often unconsciously. Comparing myself according to things they post on social media. Comparing myself to an interesting stranger whom I met while doing my work in a cafe. Automatically, silently comparing myself to my cousin’s accomplishments in a family gathering. I did that with no harmful intention–I just did that unconsciously. I’m grateful that I–finally–reached the phase of feeling content enough with my life choice, so it doesn’t affect me that much. But I admit that learning is not a constant linear graph. Sometimes, it does affect me for a second–thankfully, liking what you do, and being busy doing things that you like, really helps keep my mind occupied. I’ve got no energy left to let those thoughts in.
So I guess comparing ourselves to others is not necessarily a bad thing? As long as we know how much will those thoughts affect us in any negative ways. I agree with this post so much–especially on the second picture.
That comparison is not the thief of joy. Envy is. Resenting others’ success breeds misery and rivalry. Admiring their success brings motivation and learning. A key to growth and happiness is focusing our comparisons on people who inspire us. –Adam Grant
