A Brief Update on my Documentary (2017)
‘The Queer Case for Individual Rights: From International Film Student to Queer and Undocumented,’ is a Personal and Social Issues Documentary about a (trans-masculine) gender nonconforming lesbian, who moved from the Netherlands to Los Angeles in the early 1990s, legally on a Student Visa, by enrolling in Film School, to be a filmmaker to show the world their POV, to show they have a right to be who they are and get what they want in a time in LGBTQ history where they are rendered invisible and so without rights.
They become“illegal,” or “undocumented,” as a victim of DOMA, (Defense Of Marriage Act of 1996,) as punishment by the US immigration system, which only allows US Citizenship through opposite-sex marriage, which they in turn use to make a film about, to prove their point even more, about having the same individual rights as anyone else.
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I’m still extremely busy cutting a trailer, as well as a rough cut, of my feature documentary ‘The Queer Case for Individual Rights: From International Film Student to Queer and Undocumented,’ and am putting the Documentary Grant Proposal together. But to be honest, I’ve spent most of my time writing still. I am happy to announce though that I’m finally truly done with that. No more new articles, and I actually have so much material I am seriously contemplating self-publishing my writings in book form, and considering to use these as rewards as part of any future crowd funding campaign.
I’m also still working on my immigration case with lawyer, which is a real ordeal. I am definitely eligible to self-petition for Permanent Residence under the Violence Against Women Act. I only moved to Los Angeles, legally on a 5-year Student Visa, to study Film specifically, in 1992 at age 19, and paid thousands to do it legally.
As I’ve explained plenty before, my second husband really just took over from my first husband, (initials E.B., a co-screenwriter of the first “Fast and Furious,”) who also forced me into marriage when I just got here, by myself, and at 19 years old still, while he was several years older and a fellow film student, pushing me to become Out-Of-Status, or “undocumented.”
Both of them essentially married me to correct my behavior as a lesbian and trans-masculine/gender nonconforming person really, even though it never worked of course and I’ve had relationships with women throughout my life and continue to do so, although in the past often semi-secret and necessarily brief-lived, while with my current husband completely openly now. It never ever sounds right to use the word husband, pertaining to my own situation, as I never saw myself get married to a guy, and have for most of my own life felt and lived like a straight guy myself. But that’s what they are called under the law and are for all intensive (immigration) purposes.
I’ve been trying to avoid any fundraising campaign so far, since my documentary material lends itself better to potentially qualifying for Grants. Given the subject matter or subject matters, and especially combined, socially, in terms of DOMA victims made undocumented as part of LGBTQ immigration exclusion, as well as personally, as really a typical Los Angeles story of a filmmaking dream by a struggling artist, I stand a chance.
Also, I have plenty of Los Angeles footage, walking and driving, in a muscle car, of all my old neighborhoods, Venice, Santa Monica, West Hollywood, Hollywood, Silverlake, Downtown, Mid-Wilshire, etc., including some of the changes that have taken place of the years, given the gentrification that’s been happening all over town, and the craziness that is Hollywood Blvd, and also recent protest footage. And I also have old footage of my movie theater old job at the Laemmle’s Monica-Plex, what is now the Laemmle’s Monica Film Center, including of my 2001 John Cassavetes Film Retrospective.
I have invested more than 20.000 in the building of my little company and my documentary, and for the maintaining of my production office for some 7 years now, and two production cars, (which I could use to sleep in in case of an emergency,) tiny crew and an assortment of computers, programs, and film equipment, (Macs, iPads, Final Cut Pro, Logic Pro, Canon Vixia, Canon DSLR, GoPro 4, Tascam and Zoom Recorders, lavalier and Sennheiser mics, tripods, etc.) including licenses and insurances.
Legally on paper, and for tax purposes, my film production company is called Bregman Films, in my father’s memory, (he passed away late 2015, and we had a long-distance phone relationship for the last 25 years only but were pretty solid in our understanding and respect of each other,) but on social media I have been advertising my company under ‘Queer Women Filmmakers Center, Los Angeles,’ after my Facebook Group of the same name, and will continue to do so.
My feature documentary is in fact the only reason for being in the US at all anymore, as I realize perfectly well how much better my qualify of life currently would be in my own homecountry of the Netherlands, already one of the most liberal countries in the world when I left and having made nothing but progress in the last 25 years I have been living in the US, specifically in terms of LGBTQ rights, (full equality under Dutch law by now,) but also even in filmmaking and film funding, (Dutch Film Fund, and obviously everything digital these days, unlike when I left left for Film School in Los Angeles in 1992, moving to the US legally on a 5-year Student Visa.)
So as I previously mentioned, I may self-publish my articles, so far published on medium.com/@gabriellabregman, in book form, along with some older writings never before published, including a tiny novelette, or long poem, from 2004, called ‘Scenes of Idolatry and Resentment,’ and a couple of short scripts, (all my writing prior to 2004 have been lost due to homelessness, forced opposite-sex marital abuse and moving around. My earliest feature and short scripts and several books of poetry date back to 1992 and were at some point registered with the WGA.)
Also, all my writings prior to 2007 never mentioned my undocumented status and focussed entirely on my life in Los Angeles as an artist and a lesbian, detailing financial troubles without explaining it had everything to do with my lack of legal status here and my opposite-sex marital abuse as a specific result of it all. In other words, my older writings are actually more enjoyable to read, more laid-back and romantic in nature, but they do not explain sufficiently why I actually lived the way I did.
Combining my earlier and later writings seems like a logical thing to do, now that I am completely open about my status as undocumented.
I have been so busy trying to perfect my product, not just my personal story with US immigration, but also actually understanding the whole system itself now and able offer rational solutions, that I simply haven’t had time to build a proper online network for potential funding. This is also the primary reason for my lack of normal human interaction with my online and offline friends and acquaintances, which I regret and would want to improve in the near future, but which was simply unavoidable due to the seriousness of my situation as “queer and undocumented” filmmaker in this country.
But I simply don’t find it sufficient to present “just another story” of undocumented immigration and have found, in dealing with my own situation, all the holes in the US immigration system itself and actually have real solutions to offer. It basically took me almost 5 years of research, on my own and in less than ideal circumstances, to figure this system out. Besides this I am also structuring my both personal and political story in a 3-Act Structure, excluding any talking heads approach in favor of a Voice-Over narrative. I come from a background of narrative storytelling, both screenplays and novels, before switching to documentary out of necessity. Most of it focusses on my personal life, the good and the bad, but it will also necessarily contain legal facts regarding the US immigration system, the problem with it and the fair solution for it.
I will use a combination of newly shot footage, a lot of driving in LA included as I mentioned, as well as personal archival footage, old video, pictures, documents, but also more general footage, of protests I attended and whatever news footage and other type of footage I can get away with under the fair use clause. It will also contain simple graphics (to explain a few things about the US immigration system,) and some animation, (really mainly for more graphic scenes, homelessness, violence, sex, for good or for bad, as well as drugs, which cannot be replicated any other way anymore.) My husband is in fact a musician and will do most of the instrumental soundtrack, and if I can use any songs I could afford I will, but for the most part I have music in place.
Also, one other main reason he is working on my film, besides being a part of the music work, and besides holding the camera a lot, following me around with it in various places, is that he is a US Citizen and so can sign legal documents regarding film funding, which I unfortunately cannot myself.
And lastly, and not to sound morbid, as I am not at all, but just to be very realistic under my circumstances, in case of my death or disappearance I somehow wish for my writings to be published in their entirety, as they exist on medium.com/@gabriellabregman, with the pictures provided by me on that site and on Facebook. How I would accomplish this, in case of any emergency, I’m not sure but I thought I’d throw it out there for people to know. (My husband is not even fully aware of how much writing I actually have done over the years. He has seem me write a lot, but hasn’t read most of it. He’s not much of a writer or reader himself.) I have hard copies of some of my older writings in my possession still, and saved on USBs, and may publish some on medium but I’m not sure yet. All my video material is currently on my laptop and being edited.
My love for film as well as literature, and particularly my mother’s difficult relationship with me, were the primary reasons I moved out of my parents’ apartment at 19, and straight to Los Angeles in 1992. I have no siblings or other family here or in the Netherlands really, other than my husband here, who has been working with me on my documentary in many ways and doing the best he can do by now, but ultimately does not understand completely the material, nor me as a person. He doesn’t truly understand my gender identity nor my sexual orientation as a trans-masculine/gender nonconforming lesbian I mean mainly, and certainly doesn’t relate to it. Ultimately this is kind of strange, as I am practically a straight guy, like him, but this is hard for him to understand and accept, even if I’ve never presented myself in any way feminine and was always openly lesbian ever since we met in 1994.
Needless to say, these are hardly the ideal circumstances to make a documentary, besides being undocumented still as well of course, and make it even harder for me to get personal, which is the whole reason I’m ultimately doing all of this; to force myself to be visible to all of those who forced me to be invisible in their envious attempts to annihilate me. I say envious because a female bodied individual who lives for herself/ himself/ themselves is a menace to society. Luckily I’m using a Voice-Over approach, allowing me to get personal later, in the audio, while shooting most of the footage separately, but the stress of it all still remains. I prefer the VO approach either way though, and don’t really want to break the fourth wall and use any talking heads, so this works out just fine. It also allows for a smoother, more continuous soundtrack, which feels kinds of comforting, and which he can fulfill just fine.
But even besides him not sufficiently understanding my identity as a trans-masculine/gender nonconforming lesbian, even if he tries, he is certainly not the right person for the job, which I would also much rather see done by a queer woman, or queer women, because we need the film work more than a straight guy does. I still hope I can hire additional people though, queer women for post-production stages and marketing stages that is mainly, and potentially additional footage if necessary, but can only pay any of us if any Grants were to come through.
That’s all for now.
Gabriella Bregman
thequeercasefilm.com
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You can read more of my articles here:
A Few Notes On LGBTQ Filmmaking (2017)
List of Articles (2016)
I am a Writer-Documentary Filmmaker-Producer at Bregman Films, currently in Post-Production of a Feature Documentary ‘The Queer Case for Individual Rights: From International Film Student to Queer and Undocumented.’
