Loving in fear
July 2
Loving in fear.
Do you know what it’s like?
Yes, you read right…
Loving in fear
2 steps forward… then 6 back
Sound familiar?
Or perhaps you know it by another name. A name this generation has given the blatant refusal to see truth for what it really is.
TRUST ISSUES
A tag that makes it okay to treat someone like they are not deserving of your love and kindness because of the mistakes made by others.
You make them pay for offenses committed by fools.
Fools.
Fools you gave your love so freely to but then turn around and have trust issues.
Hurting a heart that truly loves you.
You’re phone snooping… Hello Shaggy.
You’re picking up hints on social media… Holmes with a modern touch.
You’re digging into the past to find things that he is hiding.
There’s nothing. Anywhere.
But do you stop?
Do you listen to the voice that cries
Let me love you!!!
No.
He’s really good at hiding
*digs deeper*
Until you’re neck deep in pieces of a puzzle that doesn’t exist.
Now you’re picking at simple things.
A walk from the cafeteria
A smile at a friend
A call.
His heartbeat… the fact that it is beating.
Adding things up… Abacus has got nothing on you.
So on his birthday, you give a gift and then take it back.
Who is she to you?
There’s a pause.
Him: I’m sorry… what?
You: He’s thinking of a lie
3 exchanges later, it’s a fight
Over “Hi”
You’re loving in fear.
Walking on eggshells around your own heart.
An hour has gone by
Ultimatums have replaced the love in your air.
He says “No”
You say “Go”
And so he does.
Half hoping you didn’t mean it but too tired of having his love thrown back at him.
Wait, sometimes.
Sometimes, It really is what it seems.
Previous Stories in My July Writing Project:
