What is the Difference Between Conventional Talk Psychotherapy and Experiential Psychotherapy?

As Laura shared her story with me, her eyes filled with tears. Recognizing the emergence of emotion, I invited her to slow down and notice the physical experience of her sadness with compassion towards it. She stopped speaking and focused inward. As she did, the sadness increased allowing her tears to flow unencumbered by conflict.

Laura cried as I quietly sat present with her making sure she felt safe and not alone. Soon the wave of affect passed. I then gently directed her to stay focused on what was happening in her body now that the sadness had passed. After about 60 seconds, she looked up at me with bright-eyes. “I feel calm now,” she said. “I really was a very sad child,” she reported with newfound insight, clarity, self-compassion and recognition for how her parents’ difficulties had affected her.

Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to become a psychoanalyst — like Freud. And that is exactly what I did. And then I learned of an entirely new way of working where the focus was on giving the patient a healing and transformational experience.

I first heard about this new way of working in 2004. I was attending a conference on emotions and attachment. It was there that I first saw videos showing therapists skillfully and gently…