#1 Contentment
I live in Jombang, I think it’s an incredibly calm and peaceful small city. Almost the same people have surrounded me throughout my journey, as my elementary, junior, and senior high schools are all part of the same area. It may not be considered as the perfect place in the world, but I can guarantee you that all of my friends there share the same opinion that this place is truly wholesome. I feel like this place is filled with literally genuine and good people.
While living there, meeting up and getting to know a whole new bunch of people outside was not something new for me. Somehow, I had good terms with those I met through organizations, social meets, competitions or simply online or as penpals. It’s like I had these natural things to adapt to new friendships, which made it easier for me to connect with people from various backgrounds and interests.
And then, when I got to uni, I got exposed to an even greater diversity for a certain period of time. It’s not just about the diversity in terms of religion, but more like the way of life, thoughts, and understanding. I encountered so many types of people and their personalities. Next, I met with other fellas from places like Jakarta, Surabaya, or those who consider themselves or entitled as metropolitans. And, of course, it was fine. I could balance it out and get along, and yea, it was nice.
But somehow, deep down, there’s a feeling that something’s off when I interact with them. At first, I thought maybe it would take time for me to truly understand them. But, even when we connect on a deeper level, I sense that there’s something holding them back like they’re wearing some sort of masks or something. Don’t get me wrong, I’m trying to express this respectfully. I don’t want to generalize or judge them, maybe we’re just not on the same frequency? But the thing is, if we look at the surface or deeper level, it’s just different.
So, I’ve been trying to figure out if it’s just me or something else. But as I re-gain all the connections, I notice similar things — they always seem to linger on worldly or materialistic things, like they’re trying to keep the convo going with that kind of stuff. I think that their perspective on things is too focused on worldly and materialistic stuff, and because of that, their lives seem to revolve around validation from others. E.g., when it comes to making connections, they’re all about looks, wealth, status, and all that stuff. It’s seriously mind-blowing. I understand how we present ourselves matters, but putting material possessions as their basic pov above personality or everything else? I’m not quite seeing it right.
On the other hand, it’s different whenever I have discussions or chit-chat with my fellow hometown even at the surface or deeper level, I can feel their genuine emotion and thought. They don’t brag about their lavish lifestyles, what type of car they own, what kind of looks their partners have, how many followers they get, or the privileges their parents provide. Instead, we enjoy our time together and talk about each other’s life progress. It feels like I genuinely sense a real-deal quality of connection when interacting with them, even in brief moments. And, I feel like I can be me.
However, I have come to realize that the truth is… it’s not about the place. You can encounter similar people even in metropolitan areas or vice versa. It’s just a bunch of different personalities and traits, but I have a theory that in metro areas, you’re more likely to come across individuals who place greater emphasis on material aspects. This is likely because the fast-paced environment forced them to prioritize tangible and quantifiable aspects of life, such as money, status, and physical comfort regarding connections.
Maybe they’re already shaped by their surroundings beforehand, so they just go along with it and don’t have the time to look for other qualities. If you encounter these kinds of people you know that sometimes they can lead to disregard other values like intangible or non-material aspects, such as spirituality, emotions, interpersonal relationship, personal growth, and the well-being of others. But yea, not all people living in high-paced cities have the traits of someone who is all about material stuff. Sometimes, when they have good relationships and connections within their family, or their parents take an extra step in parenting, they manage to value non-material aspects more.
While I was writing this story and taking a little break to scroll through, I came across a tweet that’s related to this discussion.
I’m one of those who believe that our environment and surroundings play some part in shaping us into the individuals we become. There are so many times I feel truly grateful for being surrounded by so many wonderful friends (even though I ain’t sure if they talk behind my back, at least in their presence, I can feel their kindness). Or maybe it’s simply the blessing of living in this slow-paced city. It grants me the time to truly comprehend myself, my surroundings, and appreciate numerous things, allowing me to feel content with who I am, just being “enough”.
Those tweets mainly discuss slow-paced living stuff. However, that doesn’t mean we should use it as an excuse to be lazy or neglect our basic life or financial responsibilities. We still strive to work hard and ensure our basic well-being first while seeking a sense of contentment in our lives.
By feeling content with myself, I gain a better understanding of my likes, needs, and what truly makes me happy. Observing my hometown buddies, who are also content seem so different from those who keep focusing on materialistic stuff. They’re fun and interesting with great personalities. I love catching up with them ’cause there’s always something interesting to talk about — like engaging in healthy activities, exploring K-pop culture things, crafting goods, talking about their pets, reminiscing good old memories, or just simply goofing around with good humor like a newie-stand-up comedian. Basically just being human and humane.
To put it another way, in my mind, seeing them feels like they embrace a diverse and vibrant color spectrum, rather than just a few shades from a limited palette. They simply do what makes them happy without being concerned about fitting into the majority standard or seeking others' validation of that materialistic stuff. The fear of missing out (fomo) doesn’t affect them because they are already content with their lives. Yup, that stuff doesn’t bother them ’cause they’re already living the life.
Contentment comes from appreciating life’s simple joys and finding peace within yourself. From this peaceful place, you become more self-aware, taking time to reflect and grow. It’s a superpower that boosts your confidence and keeps you real.
Being content isn’t just about feeling okay when you’re alone; it’s about finding joy in both solitude and companionship. I have a balanced time spent with myself, family, and friends. Sometimes, I choose to do things alone that are typically done together, like having dinner, watching movies in the cinema, or doing karaoke, yup just with my own self.
It’s not because I lack someone to accompany me, or I don’t wanna spend my time with them, simply just because I already enjoy doing those activities a lot with them, so I wanna cherish having a little extra time for myself. I’ve learned to be happy with my life just as it is, with or without others. But if someone comes along, it’s a wonderful bonus, like a cherry on top of an already happy sundae. If they’re not around, that’s perfectly fine, but if they are, it would be better.
I don’t wanna be grouping people or putting them in categories based on those things. Some ppl might not be used to or comfortable going out alone, and that’s totally cool. On the other hand, there are people who enjoy their own company, and that’s perfectly fine too. Howeveerrr, those who don’t feel at ease being alone shouldn’t have the audacity to judge or feel sorry for those who love spending time solo. It’s like, how can you pity someone who’s perfectly happy on their own, right? And vice versa.
It doesn’t mean that those who are over material stuff can’t find contentment in life either. Someday, they might get it, but probably later on. Life has its ways of humbling them real quick. Seeing material things is not always bad. Sometimes, we need those to build our lives, but they might perceive those things as the true source of happiness. So, it’s essential to consider the right amount. Because when things become way too overwhelming, it can have negative consequences if you start relying on material stuff for everything. Especially for basic human needs like connection and relationships. If you’re all caught up in stuff, you might end up neglecting the real good stuff— the meaningful bonds we share with others.
Heyy, thank you so much for taking the time to read my first story on Medium. If you’re reading this, then you’ve seen that I finally decided to upload this after leaving it in the draft for days and months. If you’ve got any advice on my writing or want to chat about the topics, hit me up via email or Instagram. And before you leave, if you haven’t checked out my Read Me First (click this) post, please do so. Thank you, and have a wonderful day (:
And today’s picked song:
https://open.spotify.com/track/0JxkgVgRBCvDmMwUNr8Dwg?si=763ae9268b164d75
