Self-help program — Weeding
I have created a set of self-help tools. Weeding is the 3rd part of this tool box. You can click here to access the whole program!
Weeding in the context of mental health
When I think about my mental health I imagine a garden. The space has virtually no limits except for the ones I have created myself.
I create, maintain and expand my garden by understanding the quality of the soil, adding compost and top soil and maybe some tomato feed where need be. I plant flowers and fruits that I appreciate and regularly take out the weeds which are not serving me or preventing my own projects to grow.
The quality of the soil is the quality of my inner dialogue. We have addressed this in “Building the foundations”. In this section we have emphasized the importance of knowing oneself to understand the difference between OK and NOT OK.
Adding compost or using feed was described in “Seeds of compassion”. New project need attention, patience and practice to grow. We might fail at growing tomatoes on our first attempt but eventually get there on our 3rd or 100th try.
Finally let’s look at weeding: Common garden weeds are a large part of our gardens and need to be identified before they manage to sow seed and multiply. If you do keep a strict and thorough weeding regime and keep the spread of seed to a minimum this particular chore will get much easier as the years go by.
In my mental health regime weeding consist of identify the unhelpful mechanism I use to cope with life. These mechanisms are the results of my environment and how I created methods of avoiding pain. Essentially none of us appreciate painful experiences, therefore the brain build pathways allowing us to avoid pain.
This does not mean we should avoid it forever, eventually when we feel ready we can look at our garden and identify which weeds we are ready to uproot.
Self-help tools
- First let’s look at our emotions. Society has trained us to believe that the only emotion that we should allow ourselves to feel is joy. The truth is each emotion bring a particular message to us. It is healthy for us to listen to that message, understand it and allow ourselves time and space to process it. Ignoring our emotions is a way to self-sabotage our selves. Click here to read my article about self-sabotage and understand better how it works.
Each emotions are here to serve us:
- Anger — Click here to dive deeper into the understanding of this emotion
- Sadness — Click here to dive deeper into the understanding of this emotion
- Fear — Click here to dive deeper into the understanding of this emotion
- Joy — Click here to dive deeper into the understanding of this emotion
2. Per nature the ego will prevent us from entering areas which need weeding. Some weeds in our garden has significantly sized thorns, therefore it is logic that we do not want to get close to it. Similar parallel can be drawn when it comes to expanding our comfort zone. Watch Luviie Ajayi’s TED here “Get comfortable with the uncomfortable”.
3. Some weeds hold the promise of berries. We are tempted to keep them but by the time they produce the sweet fruit their thorns are so strong that we can barely approach the plant. Similarly in life we can believe that something is not harmful and yet end up getting hurt. That is the case when it comes to our use of social media. Click here to watch an After Skool animation about the harmful effects of social media. On the same topic let’s look at the importance of our support network when it comes to uprooting weeds, building new habits, walking away from unhealthy habits.
4. Finally let’s look at the glass half full. To do so I recommend the book “Choose wonder over worry” by Amber Rae as well at this article I wrote about seeing the positive side of a negative situation.
Takeaway
- Maintaining, building a sustainable healthy mind is about creating a new space for you to grow and this includes clearing the space of habits, people, tools, etc that no longer serve you. It’s a like a spring clean.
- Understanding that mental health is not something we achieve like getting a diploma but rather a life style that is built over a life time. It is not about the destination but the journey
- Even in moments of uncertainty you are always progressing. Every day your resilience grows in such subtle ways that you might not notice it. Yet over a year you will see and recognise the progress.
- Every time we challenge our comfort zone we expand our garden. We push the boundaries we had set ourselves mentally. We realise that we are our only limit, nothing else.
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Sawubonasana is a space where you can be yourself, seen, heard and appreciated just the way you are.
Sawubona means “I see you and by seeing you I bring you into being”, Asana means posture, way of living. I was guided to use this name by my guides and my ancestors. Recognising that each and every one of us is powerful is a way of reclaiming the spaces where we have given our powers to others.
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