I Broke His Heart and He Won’t Talk To Me: I Love Him But I Broke His Heart

Jasmine Norah
7 min readDec 12, 2019
Photo by Ethan Sykes on Unsplash

I broke his heart and he won’t talk to me — I love him but I broke his heart.

If reservations were made at the Heartbreak Hotel each time a relationship broke up, they would need to build an extension to the hotel the size of Tennessee and probably Arkansas too. Thousands of people break up each week for many different reasons, which will leave one, if not both of you feeling broken hearted. Many women will have contemplated after perhaps too hasty a decision to end a relationship, ‘how do I get back my boyfriend if broke his heart?’

Solving this issue depends on how you broke his heart in the first place, as telling him you were leaving because of his bad body odor is somewhat different to cheating on him. The latter is clearly going to severely damage your boyfriend’s trust in you, and whilst not an irreparable situation, it will be a long road ahead before you regain that trust. Let’s hope that line from another Elvis song: “we can’t go on together, with suspicious minds”, doesn’t always ring true.

First of all you need to think about whether you broke his heart for a deliberate reason or whether it was a spur of the moment act of madness. In other words do you really want him back and if so you need to think about how do I get my boyfriend back if I broke his heart? Well an important thing to remember is it was you that broke off the relationship, and therefore it is highly likely that he still has strong feelings for you.

So when you come to offer an olive branch as a gesture of reconciliation, your ex boyfriend should be quite receptive and open to talks. Arrange to meet up and apologize to him for what you may have said or done to hurt his feelings, and be prepared to admit you may well have been wrong. This may not lead to an immediate reconciliation but will show you still care and could provide the chance to be friends again.

Once you are back on speaking terms you can remind him of the good times you had together and exactly why he fell in love with you in the first place. Don’t overplay it by jumping on top of the poor guy at the first opportunity, but act naturally and listen to what he has to say. If you are still wondering how do I get back my boyfriend if I broke his heart, well keep a little distance from each other and let him miss you so that eventually he calls you with another line from Elvis’ Suspicious Minds: “Let’s don’t let a good thing die”.

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Breaking up is painful. Realizing why you broke up is harder than it may seem. Really thinking of ways to repair the damage and get the ex back needs a lot of guts. As they say — — no guts, no glory. It was all so wonderful and perfect once, wasn’t it? Ahh… those were great days. Everything was smooth and sparkly. Then what happened? Why did he suddenly slip away from your loving arms? Why did you overreact to his sudden coldness?

Only couples actually in such a situation would know how awful this feels. No one else would know the truth of what you are going through right now. And how you need to swallow your pride to move forward and get it all working once again. Getting back an ex-love requires courage. Facing your mistakes and learning to accept them (and learn from them!) is one important factor of starting over. Rarely would one of the parties say, “Yes, it was all my fault”. And even less often would one say, “I am sorry”.

We are just programmed in our society to find it hard to do these things. However, you both need to realize that it takes two to tango. Each one needs to say and accept that they are part and parcel of the problem (and, ultimately, the solution), and that both are apologetic and willing to begin anew. Make a fresh beginning. Start with pure love and sincerity in your hearts. Apologies are meant to be sincere, and in fact they MUST be. They must be said clearly and directly, to clear the air and prepare for a fresh start.

Apologizing for past bad behavior also means, implicitly, that you are promising never to do it again. Do not forget that, for that is what your partner hears when you do apologize. This is an essential step along the road to get the ex back, so be sure you do it right, and mean it in your heart. After you do it, that clink! you will hear is another link in the bond between you falling into place. It will feel good, I promise!

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We are all human, and it is normal that we make mistakes from time to time. But with apologies done and with good intentions and renewed integrity, you will now avoid falling into the same mishaps and misbehavior again, right? You bet. By just having a single goal in mind and heart, of loving and cherishing the other partner, nothing is impossible. Everything else will fall into place, and follow from that.

Many would say that it is the woman who drives the relationship in the right direction. But then again, a driver would only reach his destination comfortably and with ease if the passenger cooperates and does not dash off in new directions, or suddenly seek new adventures. When you set out to get the ex back, it is (or should be) because you want to travel down the same road of life, hand in hand with your lover.

It sure needs a lot of patience and understanding to take back an ex. Knowing now what lurking land mines lie hidden in your pasts might help avoid or reduce any spats in the future. This is a big plus — IF you talk about them all now and get them out of the way. Then you will not be shocked and surprised because you never knew about his old love or her secret passion for an ex boyfriend. No one likes these kinds of surprises, because they strike at the very foundation of our feelings for the other person.

Whatever reasons you might have for patching things up with the ex, make sure to start with an open mind and an open heart. Always make it a point to keep that burning desire and passion alive, every single day. Try to the fullest to forget about the past flaws. Be aware of what you must do and avoid, to keep things running smoothly. We call this the give and take of a relationship.

Make every day a new day and make your partner feel that it is special — because you are together and in love. Remember that time is passing, and that it will eventually run out. The feelings of wanting more and not getting enough will simply cause you unhappiness and pain. Really look at your partner, and be content with what you have. Make those sparks fly between you, and it will fuel the eternal flame that keeps your love and passion alive!

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