My Ex Asked Me About My Love Life: What To Say When Your Ex Asks If You’re Dating

Jasmine Norah
6 min readDec 12, 2019

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Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash

My ex asked me about my love life — What to say when your ex asks if you’re dating.

Have you been wondering, “Does my ex still love me?” Well, let’s spend some time to imagine the possibilities. What difference does it make to you if your ex does or does not still love you? How would that change things? If your ex still loves you, would that make your life better? That is a possibility if you also still have feelings for your ex. Think about this for a moment, if you still love your ex, and your ex still loves you, why are you calling the person you may still be in love with ‘your ex’. Good question, hey! There may be some good answers.

Make no mistake, musing over the possibility that an old flame, or even a recent flame, still might have feelings for you doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. At times we all wonder about an old relationship we once enjoyed. I have looked back many decades, to when I was a teenager, and had been dating my ‘one and only’ for almost all of my entire high school years. I was curious if that person still felt something, or had forgotten my name. There was no chance anything could have become of it either way, but it felt good to kick back and wonder ‘what if’. Reminiscing is good for the soul every once in a while.

Come out of your thoughts and back to the present. Your inquiring mind could take charge, and you might decide to learn more about an ex’s feelings. First, you must remember that there were reasons that you two are not still together. The problems that caused the break up, may still be valid. Be careful that you do not get so excited over a possibility of getting back together that you forget those old problems. You must not forget why the relationship ended in the first place. However, if you don’t try, you will be wondering ‘what if’ for a long time.

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Be that as it may, if you still have the need to check out your ex’s feelings, you must first accept that some things are not as they seem, and you have to be able to accept whatever follows. Much like opening Pandora’s box. You cannot predict what will happen or any outcome. One possibility is that you learn that your ex still is attracted to you. What now? You are excited. Thoughts are running through your mind. “Hey, this is great!” Or, “We’re getting back together!”

Before you jump in with both feet and do something irreversible, like ringing a bell, there are some questions you have to ask yourself. Do you have a current girlfriend or boyfriend? Do you want to risk that relationship? Do you want your reputation tarnished? Do you want to risk being dumped again if this fling with your ex doesn’t work out? Is a relationship with your old ex worth destroying your current situation? These are all risks you may be taking just by inquiring about your old ex. Never mind actually hooking up with her or him. You could end up having two people not loving you, or worse.

You need to have a serious discussion with yourself to come up with honest answers to the above questions before deciding you want to throw away what you have to relive something iffy from your past. Something that has already failed once. No matter who initiated the original break up, there are reasons that relationship is in the past. There are reasons you call that person “ex”.

Therefore, when you are looking back and asking yourself, “Does my ex still love me?”, most often it is best to let it stay a question. Keep the past in the past. Many times it is better to wonder about a question than to actually find the answer.

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You are sad and lonely. You feel depressed all the time and you have but one question that you want answered: “How Can I Make My Ex Want Me Again”? The sad fact is that you cannot make anyone do anything that they do not want to do. However, thanks to studies in human psychology, there are plenty of things you can do to influence people. If you really want to know the answer to, “how can I make my ex want me again?”, then you will pay special attention to the tips I am about to offer.

You can make your ex want you again by disappearing from their life. Despite how you are feeling right now, your presence gives your ex a feeling of comfort, in that they know that you will always be there for them. You have to shake their confidence a little and make them fear they may lose you forever if they do not change their mind.

You can make your ex want you again by avoiding the trap of chasing after them. They know you want to get back together, and you do not have to tell them this everyday, so you can relax and enjoy your current freedom a little. Re-connect with some friends that you may have lost touch with during your relationship. Hang out with friends and family. If you do not chase your ex, then your ex will chase after you eventually, because that is human psychology. It is called the rubber band effect or, if you prefer, the push and pull theory.

You can make your ex want you again by looking your absolute best at all times. You never know when you may run into them, or better yet, when you may run into one of their friends. How do you think your ex will feel when they hear from one of their friends, that they had run into you, and that you looked amazing!

You can make your ex want you again by remaining a busy body. Make sure you keep a full schedule so that you do not sit around and brood about the break up. If you sit around and dwell on it, you will be easily tempted to do stupid things, like call the ex, email the ex, or send the ex a text message. You want to avoid doing those things at all cost.

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