It’s Been Months And I Still Miss My Ex: It’s Been A Month Since We Broke Up

Jasmine Norah
7 min readDec 16, 2019

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Photo by Seth Doyle on Unsplash

It’s been months and I still miss my ex — It’s been a month since we broke up.

Do you find that you suddenly miss your ex? Or maybe you’ve missed your ex all along but now you just can’t shake the feeling that it’s time to get back together? You aren’t alone. With so many people breaking up every day, and with such a high divorce rate in this country, there are plenty of people who are experts at breaking up and making up. So if you can’t decide if it’s a good idea to try to get back together with your ex, here are some tips for you.

1. Don’t try to get back together if you know breaking up was a good idea. Even if you think your ex might have changed, you need to work through your previous problems before you jump back into a relationship. Sometimes old patterns will make old behaviors rear their ugly heads, even if both of you have changed. If you are just thinking about getting back together and miss your ex because of situational reasons, make sure your feelings are real and not just normal emotional attachments. Give yourself a few more weeks before contacting your ex. Or if you are still in contact, make sure you have the hard conversations before jumping back into a full blown relationship.

2. Give your gut the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, if you really can’t get over your ex and know that you’ll continue miss them, it might be time to make contact. Write them a short text or email and ask to get together over lunch or coffee. You can test the waters, and if your ex seems interested, go from there. If you are still talking to your ex, then it might be a good idea at this point to give yourself a break for a week or so to make sure your feelings are real. Give yourself a chance to really think about why your relationship ended in the first place and make sure that things have really changed between you.

3. Have you dated anyone else? Sometimes dating other people can be a good thing for your relationship. If you miss your ex, you might just need to get out there and see what your options are. But if you’ve dated other people and still miss your ex, then it could be time to talk to them. Once you see your ex again, you will remember either why you broke up in the first place, or why you really do want to get back together. Sometimes one date or meeting is all it takes to see whether or not getting back together is a good idea.

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Does your ex still think about you?

If you are to have any chance of getting back with your ex, you need to know that they are at least still thinking about you. And more than that, you want to know that some of their thoughts are positive. The more your ex thinks about you, and the more wistful and affectionate their thoughts, the better you chance is of getting back together.

Does your ex still think about you? There are signals to look for that show you are still in your ex’s thoughts. Before you make any overt move, look for at least some of these signs that your ex still has feelings for you. If you have been following the right strategies, you should see your ex making efforts to reconnect with you.

Curiosity
If your ex is still interested in you, they will want to know what you are doing and with whom. They probably won’t ask you directly, but they will try to find out from mutual friends and acquaintances. One of the more obvious signs your ex is still in love is when they constantly ask questions about you. If they feel the need to know all about what you are doing, then some feelings are still there.

This should be a signal to start talking to them again, but be cautious about what you reveal. You don’t want to give the impression that you are devastated by the breakup, but you should avoid any temptation to make your ex jealous, or to hint at a new romantic interest. This can easily backfire — especially if it isn’t true. It is better to intrigue them with the exciting things you are starting to fill your life with, but without going into too much detail. Keep them wanting to find out more. This gives them an incentive to contact you.

Calling and Texting
Does your ex still call or text you? Unless you have children or work matters to discuss, which means a level of contact between you is inevitable, then if your ex is still contacting you regularly they are still thinking about you.

It is better to keep calls brief — about 10 minutes should be the limit. Be friendly and sound happy to hear from them, but resist any demands to ‘explain yourself’ if your ex is curious about what you are up to. Always be the one to end the call by saying you have to go, but make sure they know you were pleased to hear from them.

Texting can be a powerful technique for getting your ex back. But if your ex is keeping you in touch with their current doings or conversing with you by text, then they still want you to be a part of their life. Be cautious in your replies until you find out more about the kind of relationship they have in mind.

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‘Accidental’ Meetings
Have you noticed you are bumping into your ex rather often lately? Are they turning up at all the same social functions as you, or happening to be in places where they know you often go to? This is a classic way to try to get back with your ex. Of course coincidences do happen, but when the number of ‘coincidences’ starts to go through the roof, you can believe that there is probably more to it. No matter how much your ex tries to claim that it is just a chance encounter, you are entitled to be sceptical.

If this happens, don’t be tempted to confront them and demand a ‘confession’ just to reassure yourself. Be friendly and pleased to see them, but let them make the running. That way you are giving them some encouragement without having to reveal your own hand. As they become more confident their intentions will soon become clear.

Being There
How keen is your ex to be with you? If you have started seeing each other again casually, then suggest you do something fun together that you know will conflict with one of their regular activities. If they drop their usual routine to be with you, it is a sign that they are still committed to your relationship. How much someone will give up to be with you is a good guide to how important you are in their life. But be careful not to make unreasonable demands. People always have other priorities in their life which are important too.

You might also try asking for their help with something that is important to you. Having the support of your partner is paramount in any relationship, and it is another indication of how important you and your relationship is to them. If you still mean something to them then what is important to you will be important to them.

Does your ex still think about you? To get your ex to want to be with you again, you need to follow the right strategies. When you start seeing signs like the ones here that your ex still has feelings for you, you can help by giving them some encouragement so that they know there is a real chance that you could get back together. You will still have to take a risk at some point, but by ‘testing the water’ first you will have a better idea of whether the risk is worth taking.

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