My Ex Boyfriend Is Still Sexually Attracted To Me: Why Does My Ex Boyfriend Flirt With Me

Jasmine Norah
9 min readDec 22, 2019

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

My ex boyfriend is still sexually attracted to me — Why does my ex boyfriend flirt with me.

You might think that getting your man back after everything that you’ve been through is too much to ask for. You might think that there has been too much bad blood between the two of you or that things have been said and done that neither one of you have the ability to forgive. This is completely false and every day on this planet people just like you and yours who have broken up actually get back together again. There are couples that overcome infidelity and all sorts of obstacles to fall in love again and go on to live simply wonderful lives together. Now what makes you think that you’re so different or your circumstances are so unique?

The simple fact is that often the things that people try to do to get their boyfriend or husband back are the exact same things that doom them to failure. With the best of intentions women set out to win their boyfriend or husband back and only wind up making things worse. Are you in this same boat and does it seem like everything that you do is met with resistance or worse? Well, here are a few things that can get you started down the path that has led to many couples actually getting back together again and you really can do the same thing too.

Backing Off — While you might think or fear that your boyfriend or husband will forget about you or think that you don’t still love him anymore, you really have nothing to worry about in this regard. He hasn’t forgotten about you and if you are calling him, texting him or emailing him hoping to work things out or just assure him that you really do love him and that you’re not going to give up on him you really are making this worse for yourself. Sure you miss him but are you giving him an opportunity to miss you?

Back off a bit and give him the time and space that he needs to let the reality of this breakup really set in. Let him learn what life is going to be like without you and your love. If you are in regular contact with him he doesn’t have time to really miss you. Plus, by backing off you will create a little mystery and doubt in his mind. Let him worry for a change about whether or not you’re going to move on without him and let him think about that some night as he’s lying awake not able to sleep. It takes some courage but by backing off you will appear strong and self assured. By calling constantly and making known your desire to get him back when he doesn’t really seem to want you back, you appear weak and needy. You want to appear strong and self assured, don’t you?

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Get Hot — You might laugh at this but think about it. How are most men stimulated? That’s right… most men are stimulated visually. So after backing off you should do a few things to change your appearance and make yourself look a little more desirable. It could be a new outfit or two, maybe get your hair and nails done, maybe a little different color to your hair. Little changes to your appearance send a huge message and when it does come time to get back in touch with him again you want to knock his socks off, don’t you? You want to leave him speechless.

By making a few changes to your appearance you show that you’re actually taking pretty good care of yourself since the breakup. This shows worth and value and it will be something that he will notice both consciously and subconsciously. In addition, you will be stimulating him visually if you make changes in a direction that you know will turn him on and in the back of his mind he will be asking why you didn’t look that good when he was with you which will lead to thoughts of trying to get you back. Understand?

Forget About the Past — It might be difficult for you to do but it is important that you forget about the past and what went on directly before and during your breakup if you ever hold any hope of getting your boyfriend or husband back. During this period where you’re trying to get him back it would be wise to even verbalize your desire to leave the past in the past and not discuss what happened to who and why. Other than saying that you’re sorry for the misunderstandings and your part in what led to your breakup no further discussion about what happened should be necessary while you’re trying to get him back. It is only counterproductive and it will only bring up bad emotions and feelings.

It might be possible to revisit good times in your relationship once the chemistry is bubbling between the two of you but you will be surprised by how easy it is to bury the hatchet and forget about the hurts of the past if you really want to. And you do want to get your man back, don’t you? You really do want to feel that connection with him again? Then forget about the past for a while and focus on the present as you watch him fall in love with you all over again.

There really is a lot to getting your boyfriend or husband back and while it would be easy to just throw up your hands and quit, if you really do love him and if the pain of your breakup has become unbearable there are things that you can do to get him back. While the above advice can apply to most breakups and relationships there are other areas that you should explore to formulate a well rounded plan to get your boyfriend or husband back.

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My ex boyfriend is still sexually attracted to me — Why does my ex boyfriend flirt with me.

I know you are hurting. I know it’s painful right now. But don’t panic because things will change soon. For the better.

There are three stages you must go through to succeed.

1 ) Stop panicking and stop despairing. No matter what was said, he or she is not going to disappear from the face of the Earth. In fact, some distance is quite important so don’t worry about losing him or her forever at this stage. You can change the situation completely, so be confident.

2 ) Evaluation stage. This is when you need to decide if you actually want him/her back. Getting over him or her will be as easy as re-conquering their heart, so your decision must not be made out of fear of pain but rather only because it’s the best thing for both of you, because you believe that the relationship is good for both of you and will only get better.

3 ) Do not beg your ex, do not plead with him or her, do not pester him or her. Respect that they want time out. Remember that time away from each other is actually a really good thing. How long? At least a few days. And, when you 2 meet or talk, you must be peaceful and serene. If your ex expects an apology, apologize from the heart and take the necessary steps to correct the worst behaviours of yours. Go to therapy or join a support group if you need to. It looks really good in the eyes of your ex and, above all, it will really help you. Do not pester him/her unless they call you first, at least in the beginning. If it’s required, write a really heart-felt letter of apologies spelling out what you’ll do to correct your behaviour (therapy, support group, gym, etc). You can do this in a face-to-face meeting if he/she asks to meet you.

4 ) Strategy stage. This is divided into several mini-stages:

A — Let them miss you. Leave them alone for a few days or a few weeks (depending on what their psychological make up is like) because after that time they will start to miss you. You need to let them reach this stage and you do this by leaving them alone for a bit (otherwise all they’ll remember are your bad traits)

B — Find yourself again. Take some time out your sadness and do things that make you happy. Go to the gym (it’s always a good strategy) or embark on a physical activity (this will make you look better, even just because your circulation will improve and above all it will release some powerful hormones which will help you become cool and collected.

Write down what your good qualities are, what your ex used to love about you and what all your other romantic encounters loved about you. Focus on those. Remember how great you can be.

The best time to see them again is when you have found yourself, when you have regained some dignity and composure, when you can at least appear to be content with your life as a single person again.

When you meet them again, after some time has passed (it could be one or 2 weeks or even 3 months, depending on your age and your circumstances), if you feel that you 2 are relaxing again, you need to rebuild trust and a good image with him or her. So you must:

C — be his/her friend again. Let him/her open up to you, don’t react negatively no matter what he/she says to you. Just allow them to open up and do little things for them that will be viewed as helpful to them. If you let them open up to you in a specific way, they will fall in love with you all over again. There are POWERFUL LOVE TECHNIQUES you can use for this purpose but only use them if you believe and know that you 2 are great for each other.

D — flirt with him or her a little, nothing heavy, without expectations, always in a cheerful mood.

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