My Ex Texted Me Just To Say Hi: My Ex Texted Me Should I Reply

Jasmine Norah
7 min readDec 14, 2019

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Photo by Rohit Tandon on Unsplash

My ex texted me just to say hi — My ex texted me should I reply.

If you have just gone separate ways with an ex boyfriend because he broke up with you, how should you react if he suddenly sends you a text message? Should you find out why he started texting you again and why he is trying to get in touch with you right now? What are the rules when it comes to texting the ex boyfriend, in general?

Well, the truth is: ex boyfriends won’t touch base with you unless they want something. So, if you think he is just being friendly, think again. That guy definitely has a goal in mind that he is aiming for.

Now, if you broke up without actually resolving your problems, then your ex boyfriend may have done some soul-searching since then and may want to test things out to see if what you had is worth a second chance. If you are interested in getting back together, then texting the ex boyfriend would definitely be a good move at this point and would be a much safer move compared to calling him, as well. Phone calls are far too personal, after all.

So, why is your ex boyfriend suddenly sending you text messages, then? Well, he might just be bored or lonely, but he might be in a reminiscent mood, too. Conversely, he might be unhappy without you in his life or he might just miss having somebody to turn to. No matter why he may be texting you, though, his texts just go to show that he is ready to start communicating with you again. If you are ready for the same thing, then don’t think twice about texting the ex boyfriend back.

Now, you do have to keep in mind that your ex boyfriend might just be texting you to break the ice or make small talk, but he might want to figure out whether you still have feelings for him, as well. Remember: guys won’t try to get back together with an ex unless they are completely certain that they feel the same way. So, if you do want to get back together, try to throw some hints of that in your replies to your ex boyfriend.

In a nutshell, texting the ex boyfriend is only a good idea if you really want to get back together with him. So, make sure you don’t hit that “reply” button unless you are absolutely sure about how you feel.

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To get back with your ex is a tricky and often hair-raising experience that puts you through a roller-coaster of emotions. When love goes wrong, the fallout can be bitter and painful, and if you are the only one who wants to fix your relationship then you are probably feeling very much alone. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t be done, or that it is not the right thing to do. If you have thought carefully about your breakup and still believe that your relationship is worth saving, there are effective things you can do to help yourself to get back with your ex.

Essentially you need to make your ex change their perspective so that they too want to give your relationship another chance. Moving on is never easy, and during the days and weeks after the breakup your ex will probably be having their doubts. Few people ever leave a relationship without wondering afterwards if it was the right thing to do. So what you need to do now is convince them that it wasn’t. But getting the spark back between you will be easier if you can create new vibes between you, without the tension and rows that marked your break up.

First, accept the break up yourself, and make this clear to your ex. The fact is that your old relationship IS over, and even though you want to get back with your ex you will never be returning to the past. And that is good! After all, you need to change things — the old way was a failure, wasn’t it? So stop pestering you ex with texts and emails about how angry you are, or how much you want them back. All this is very counter-productive, and will only drive you ex further away. Instead try to look back as calmly as possible and do your best to understand what really went wrong between you, so that you will know the things to avoid or change in the future. Also remember the good things you had together. Then you can remind your ex of all the reasons why they fell in love with you and why you are The One for them.

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Second, make yourself scarce. If you have been calling and texting your ex since the breakup, they are probably feeling both persecuted and suffocated. You want to give your ex a chance to miss you, and they won’t as long as you are never off the phone. Find things to do that give your life interest and purpose; in fact, make it look as if you are moving on. When your ex sees that your world doesn’t revolve around them anymore, they will see you in a different light and start to reassess their feelings.

Third, look after yourself. You want to look your best right now, so step up the exercise routine and make sure you are eating well. Find new interests or revive old ones, and don’t become a social recluse. None of this will be easy when you are upset and unhappy, but it will lift your mood and your confidence, and give your life a sense of purpose. The more you fill your life with beneficial activity (i.e. not overeating or drinking or other destructive behaviour), the easier it will be to bear the separation from your ex.

Fourth, keep the lines of communication open. This doesn’t mean actually contacting your ex, but making sure that you don’t slam the door on it either. Don’t criticise you ex, either to their friends or yours, and don’t make a big drama of returning their belongings or making other ‘final’ gestures. This will show maturity and keep the door open for a reconciliation without making you look needy or desperate. If you run into your ex, be calm and friendly, but make it clear that you are too busy to talk for long. Don’t bring up any negative aspects of the past.

If you do this, your ex will feel more relaxed with you, and as the tension eases they will start thinking about you more positively. As the vibes between you improve, you can start to flirt gently with your ex, keeping it understated so they are not entirely sure that you are flirting at all. By keeping them guessing, you will draw them back towards you so that they start thinking seriously about getting back together with you.

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