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The Old Mech went up in the suburbs of Pil Yo Heights when Royo was just a baby. Of course, at the time it was simply: “The Mech.” In one video from that time, his father holds Royo’s tiny silhouette against the scaffolding of The Mech, and says, “This is our gift to you, Royo! So you will always have time.”

The Mech was built to protect Pil Yo Heights from the Time Witches. …


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I turned 41 this year, and getting older has been strange, especially since the Internet got ahold of someone I consider to be my dream brother: Garfield.

What I’m talking about is “Creepy Garfield” art. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a series of cartoons featuring Garfield as a monster stalking Jon. It’s mostly sci-fi and body horror Cronenberg-style drawings.

My friends sometimes post this Dark Garfield art on my wall — and I appreciate it, I do love to see all of Garfield’s incarnations, even the upsetting ones. There’s even a subreddit for Creepy Garfield art called r/imsorryjon.

Picture a bloated Garfield the size of a star pouring the dark light of his essence directly into Jon’s eyes and Jon saying “I can see forever and it’s bad.” Or Garfield as one of the monsters from Annihilation, with tentacles coming out of his face and the caption is “This lasagna recipe requires your DNA…


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👨🏻 Hey y’all, it’s me! Jeff Foxworthy! Jason and Tom let me introduce the article so I could try out my new Aladdin material and here it is! “If a man with a snake staff sends you down into a cave of wonders with your pet monkey to get a magic lamp — you MIGHT be Aladdin.” Hope you liked it! Anyway, here’s Jason and Tom with some wholesome comedy about a genie who’s as blue as my collar!

JASON

Whoa, was Jeff Foxworthy just in here? …

About

Jason Pierce Mallory

Sleepy Little Rascal

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