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Jason Pierce Mallory
Jason Pierce Mallory

61 Followers

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Nov 1, 2019

The Old Mech

The Old Mech went up in the suburbs of Pil Yo Heights when Royo was just a baby. Of course, at the time it was simply: “The Mech.” In one video from that time, his father holds Royo’s tiny silhouette against the scaffolding of The Mech, and says, “This is…

Fiction

7 min read

The Old Mech
The Old Mech
Fiction

7 min read


Published in Scene and Song

·Jun 13, 2019

Garfield Is That You

On Creepy Garfield Art and Getting Engaged — I turned 41 this year, and getting older has been strange, especially since the Internet got ahold of someone I consider to be my dream brother: Garfield. What I’m talking about is “Creepy Garfield” art. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a series of cartoons featuring Garfield as a monster…

Humor

4 min read

Garfield Is That You
Garfield Is That You
Humor

4 min read


May 7, 2019

Who Will Be Vape Daddy?

Jason Mallory and Tom Rittenhouse Descend Into the Cave of Aladdin GIFs — 👨🏻 Hey y’all, it’s me! Jeff Foxworthy! Jason and Tom let me introduce the article so I could try out my new Aladdin material and here it is! “If a man with a snake staff sends you down into a cave of wonders with your pet monkey to get a…

Movies

9 min read

Who Will Be Vape Daddy?
Who Will Be Vape Daddy?
Movies

9 min read


Published in Scene and Song

·May 1, 2019

Telepath Me Please

GIFs of Dark Phoenix? Right This Way Sir or Madam — 👩🏼‍🚀 Hey there! I’m Little Dale, the astronaut! Jason asked me to come out and introduce the article. What can I say, Jason made some GIFs from the Dark Phoenix trailer and wrote some stuff about them! Okay back to being the warden of space jail, bye!

Pop Culture

5 min read

Telepath Me Please
Telepath Me Please
Pop Culture

5 min read


Published in Scene and Song

·Apr 23, 2019

Every Skywalker that Rises Must Converge

Yep-I Made a Bunch of Rise of Skywalker GIFs and Wrote About Them — If you’re here for a film critic’s analysis of the Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker trailer, this ain’t it. To quote my tattoo of Chewbacca riding a BIRD scooter for the first time: “we’ll see what happens!” So let’s look at these Star Wars GIFs I made on GIPHY…

Star Wars

6 min read

Every Skywalker that Rises Must Converge
Every Skywalker that Rises Must Converge
Star Wars

6 min read


Mar 11, 2019

Luke Perry

“Luke Perry is dead” says the screen in the elevator at my office, a deviation from its usual slightly Trump-sympathetic news reports. “Damn, Luke Perry is dead!” I write on Facebook Messenger to my girlfriend and again on gchat to my friends. Luke Perry’s death will be announced all day…

Essay

4 min read

Luke Perry
Luke Perry
Essay

4 min read


Published in Scene and Song

·Aug 9, 2018

Aquamamma Mia! Here We GIF Again

Jason and Julian review the GIFs of the Aquaman Trailer —

Comedy

11 min read

Aquamamma Mia! Here We GIF Again
Aquamamma Mia! Here We GIF Again
Comedy

11 min read


Published in Scene and Song

·Feb 9, 2018

10 GIFs, One Big Wrinkle

Tom Rittenhouse and Jason Mallory Review 10 GIFs From the Trailer for ‘A Wrinkle in Time’ — JASON What’s up, Tom! Welcome to our series where we cut 10 GIFs from a movie trailer and discuss them with a guest! For this edition, we’re taking a closer look at the GIFs of A Wrinkle in Time! First of all, this is one of my favorite books of all…

Comedy

11 min read

10 GIFs, One Big Wrinkle
10 GIFs, One Big Wrinkle
Comedy

11 min read


Published in Scene and Song

·Nov 30, 2017

A Smoke Fiend Has Stolen All the Smoke in Atlanta!

A demonic smoke fiend has stolen all the smoke in the city of Atlanta to use for his flamboyant and theatrical smoke show! — Admittedly, the show is very good, with many unbelievable feats of smoke magic that will astound you. But ever since he stole all the smoke no one can get high, enjoy cigarettes, or open any hookah bars! We asked our contributors: “How do you convince this smoke fiend to give…

Atlanta

9 min read

A Smoke Fiend Has Stolen All the Smoke in Atlanta!
A Smoke Fiend Has Stolen All the Smoke in Atlanta!
Atlanta

9 min read


Published in Scene and Song

·Nov 16, 2017

How Many Opened Boxes of Pretty Little Liars Exploding Cigars Can You Sell?

Thanks to a settlement with ABC Family, we just got our hands on several boxes of Pretty Little Liars Exploding Cigars and we need to sell them FAST! Unfortunately, someone has already opened them! The cigars are fine, but you should know: these boxes of Pretty Little Liars Exploding Cigars are NOT sealed! We asked our contributors how they would sell these prank exploding cigars branded with the “Pretty Little Liars” logo!

Life

5 min read

How Many Opened Boxes of Pretty Little Liars Exploding Cigars Can You Sell?
How Many Opened Boxes of Pretty Little Liars Exploding Cigars Can You Sell?
Life

5 min read

Jason Pierce Mallory

Jason Pierce Mallory

61 Followers

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