Jeff King – Medium

Jeff King

Jeff King
in
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

No, My Genealogical Hobby Isn’t Creepy

I just want the birth and death dates of all your grandparents

3 min readMay 28, 2024

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No, My Genealogical Hobby Isn’t Creepy

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Jeff King
in
Slackjaw

What Goes Through A Car Dealer’s Mind When I Enter A Dealership

He’s really, really trying to do the right thing.

3 min readApr 19, 2024

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A picture of a salesperson at a car dealership

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Jeff King
in
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Having Run Out of Cultural Intellectual Property to Mine, Studios Turn Their Gaze Elsewhere

The future of cinema is waiting in the patent office

3 min readApr 15, 2024

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A film director on set tells her crew to “Pull in nice and close on those patent claims! And… action!!!” The crew is filming a tall filing cabinet stuffed with patents.

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Jeff King

Sartre Tries to Make Tree Roots a Thing

Existentialist novels put the “fun” back in angst-ridden profundity

4 min readApr 12, 2024

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Jean-Paul Sartre stares out a window at a chestnut tree as he tries to writes his 1938 novel, Nausea. A picture of his long-time partner, Simone de Beauvoir, sits on his desk amidst a typewriter and crumpled up pieces of paper.

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Jeff King

Link to: “Disney Exec: It’s Time We Put Our Talented Former Child Actors to Work Really Leveraging…

In which an enthusiastic Disney executive dreamcasts classic old movies with some fresh-faced talent.

1 min readApr 3, 2024

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Link to: “Disney Exec: It’s Time We Put Our Talented Former Child Actors to Work Really Leveraging…

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Jeff King
in
MuddyUm

A Defense of Madame Web From the Inventor of the Web, Sir Tim Berners-Lee

An open letter to all the haters

4 min readMar 26, 2024

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A spider is typing on a laptop bearing an image of CERN and an open browser window to a fictional website called “www.Make-More-Madame-Web.com/wallpapers” showing the words “Madame Web”. The spider says, “This is my kind of web…”

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Jeff King

Link to: “Into the Mist”

In which we encounter Professor Tristan Moreland and his troubling fascination with the Fair Folk.

1 min readMar 16, 2024

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Link to: “Into the Mist”

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Jeff King

Link to: “Movie Critics Admit Their Hate for 2002’s Reign of Fire is Due to Fear of Dragons, Not…

In which we discover the real reason Reign of Fire has such a low Rotten Tomatoes score.

1 min readMar 7, 2024

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Link to: “Movie Critics Admit Their Hate for 2002’s Reign of Fire is Due to Fear of Dragons, Not…

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Jeff King

Link to: “Suggestions for Rebooting the Marvel Cinematic Universe from Farmer, Essayist, and Poet…

In which we discover some of the mad farmer’s recommendations for improving the MCU.

1 min readMar 4, 2024

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Link to: “Suggestions for Rebooting the Marvel Cinematic Universe from Farmer, Essayist, and Poet…

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Jeff King
in
MuddyUm

Move Over, Deepak Chopra: The Self-Help We Need is Google Sheets

You’ve been looking for a formula for happiness — well, look no further

4 min readMar 2, 2024

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A laptop showing a screenshot from Google Sheets with a column full of life’s questions. Self-help books are stacked behind the laptop.

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Jeff King

Jeff King

Jeff's writing has appeared in McSweeney's, Johnny America, Jane Austen's Wastepaper Basket, MuddyUm, Slackjaw, and elsewhere. For more, visit jeffiswriting.ca.

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