Spiritual Evolution
The Reality of Releasing What No Longer Serves You
Slow, repetitive (and sometimes painful), but totally worth it
“Releasing what no longer serves you” is such a common expression in the spiritual community that it almost sounds easy. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. The reality of releasing a lifetime of conditioning, habits, and fears is a slow and repetitive process. For two years, I consistently worked on releasing self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and self-criticism that held me back from showing up as my creative self. The release continues to be a work in progress, but I can proudly say that I’ve come a long way. This is what I’ve learned in the process of releasing what no longer serves me.
Release is non-linear
“I struggle, I suffer, I move beyond suffering, from time to time I slip back into suffering, he says yawning. This is the path.”
This is how the reincarnated monk, Lotus of the Deep describes his monastic journey in When I’m Gone, Look for Me in The East. I love that he’s yawning as he says this. He’s fully accepted the fact that the path of release is full of U-turns and ups-and-downs, and he’s at peace with it.
For two years, I repeated this process and learned first-hand that the path of release is nowhere near linear. The first few times, slipping back into suffering was dark and painful, especially when I thought I’d been making progress. But I can assure you that you are making progress, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Each time you “slip back into suffering”, the intensity and duration of this phase gradually decrease and you find yourself more at ease. Over time, the process taught me to let go of the expectation of linear progress and surrender to the unpredictable path of release.
Release is learning to stay, not run away
Releasing what no longer serves you teaches you to stay with the discomfort that arises during the process. It’s scary and uncomfortable to sit with the pain, but how can you release what you fear and avoid? Instead of running away from the discomfort, stay and lean in with compassionate curiosity and loving acceptance. I learned that slipping back into suffering is actually a valuable opportunity for reflection and self-realization. Leaning into the suffering allows you to get closer and understand it, supporting the process of release.
Release is learning to co-exist
Whatever you’re releasing will not go away completely, so it’s important to learn how to co-exist with it in a healthy and supportive way. In an act of resistance, I used to respond to imposter syndrome by binge-reading and binge-eating. Now, when I notice the first signs of self-doubt, I turn to meditation or yoga, journal, or go out in nature. I’ve learned how to share space with the discomfort and support it to move through me. By learning how to co-exist with what you’re trying to release, you suffer less. Not only do you learn to live with it, you learn to live despite it.
Releasing what no longer serves you takes dedication and courage, but it’s worth it and it’ll teach you so much along the way. So no matter how many times you find yourself repeating the process of suffering, moving beyond it, and slipping back, stay with it and remind yourself of your intention. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you are releasing and stepping into a new version of you every single day.
