You Suffer more Often in your Imagination than Reality

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”

Seneca

How often is your projection of anxiety worse than the thing itself ?

We really do suffer more in our minds, than in the reality we live

Earlier this week, I wrote about the anxiety I felt as the result of my own expectations

There is no doubt, the mental whiplash I put myself through, prior to my departure, was far worse than the actual experience of sitting in traffic

This quote makes me think….

How often do I find myself worrying about something, that when experienced, is no big deal?

How often do I find myself worrying about something that never even comes to pass?

How often does the experience of whatever I was anxious about, pale in comparison to what my mind wanted me to believe?

In a sense, I seem to use creative imagination negatively

Creating a projection of what I fear the worst-case experience to be

Whether I realize it or not, this is my mind’s attempt to protect me

My subconscious likes to say,

“If I can experience this pain prior to its actual realization, then I will be more equipped to handle it”

It’s almost as if I “don’t want to be surprised” by a nightmare scenario

Yet, my mind’s attempt at self-protection results in exactly that which it is trying to guard against

Instead of protecting myself, I experience this future-forecasted-pain in the present

It’s as though I need to catch myself and ask,

“What is happening right now?”

“Am I experiencing future-forecasted-pain hidden in disguise?”

“Or am I really that upset with exactly what is happening in this present moment?”

90% of the time, it is option one

Heck, maybe even 95% of the time

When I look back at myself yesterday, I was so frustrated that I could not recall where I read something

To the point that I was mentally suffering:

I was frustrated, angry, upset, anxious, spiraling with all of these negative emotions

But was it really because I couldn’t remember the location of this single passage?

How much of what I experienced yesterday was really future-forecasted-pain?

It takes both intention and courage to see the real answer

The real source of pain was not the inconvenience of the moment

That is annoying, but annoying is not painful

What created my mental anguish was the narrative in my head

My own future-forecasted-pain

“If you cannot remember where you read this, how can you remember anything?!”

“This idea of not being able to recall memories when I “need” or want to make use of them is terrifying”

“Unless you remember this exact thing, this is clear evidence that you will be unable to remember things in the future…. Specifically when you need them!!!”

Wow, I almost laugh at myself when I see what the real internal dialogue looks like

Picture me, frantically skimming through pages of 10 different books

“If I can just find this passage, I will have evidence that I CAN remember things”

Jack Jack Jack

You weren’t suffering in the moment as a result of one unrecallable memory

Your imagination was running wild, creating a distorted projection of the future

You were exasperating your own future-forecasted-pain

By losing sight of what was right in front of you, you began living in the future

“You suffer more often in your imagination than reality”

Another way of looking at this

When you step out of the present, you set yourself up for suffering

Suffering is the result of denial

You suffer when you deny the present reality

Living in the future will make you anxious

Living in the past will give you regret

Living in the present is not easy, but it is where you are meant to be

You get so worked up about planning, forecasting, strategizing, that you can find yourself always living for tomorrow

Take a breath, be where your feet are

Come back to reality, be here now

A few years ago, I found a mantra that I feel suits this well:

“I am better than I was yesterday”

“I am perfect for today”

“I am not yet good enough for tomorrow”

Of course, the not yet good enough for tomorrow needs to be said and heard with a sense of self-compassion

The idea is that in order to grow into our potential, we cannot rest on the laurels of today

Embracing our the perfection of our present imperfection does move us toward a better tomorrow

Don’t jump into the future

Don’t fall into the past

Be Here Now

The essence is that we all really are perfect for today, regardless of if we feel that way

To deny that is to deny the present moment itself

What did I learn writing this?

Future-Forecasted-Pain and anxiety are the same thing….

Both are nothing more than a projection

We’ve allowed ourselves to step outside of the present moment

But to what end?

These feelings can provide powerful insights

There is a piece and portion that should be listened to, rather than ignored

But we should not allow these thoughts to dominate our thinking

Or to take hold of our present reality, to keep ourselves mentally displaced from the here and now

Easy said than done

Do you really believe we suffer more in our imagination than reality?

When you catch future-forecasted-pain, thank your mind for trying to protect you

But let it know that you are okay, it is okay

Give yourself the option to return to the present

Where you were always meant to be

Be Here Now