A Kid’s First Book of Getting High
(Warning- This is Satire, intended to be Gleefully Subversive-Definitely not for kids)
You’ve seen your mom and dad hide in the kitchen and
smoke those smelly cigarettes. They tell you. “Hey! Go to bed.”
Then they get all wagga wagga.
Your friend Bad Bobby says “-I know what they are doing. “My Dad says they get high. Come to my house there’s ways for kids to get high too”.
“Get on the swing.” He twists the chains around and around.
You spin and spin.
You feel wagga wagga. The world goes around and around. It’s nice.
“There’re more ways- Bad Bobby says-Run up the hill with me.”
Then we tumble down. We get wagga wagga again.
The next day I play with Bad Bobby again.
“I know a lot about how kids can get wagga wagga like adults,” Bad Bobby says. Watch this-He presses his hands to his eyes and holds them. “Try it!” Bobby says.
Wow! I see moons and stars and planets.
Another day Bad Bobby says- “There’s other ways. Look! “ He takes out a big glass of cola and adds ice cream. “It has sugar and caffeine” he whispers. “You’ll get a brain freeze too”.We’ll drink it all.
We do. The cold gets in my head. Wow! I feel a big rush!
One day Bobby says “watch this! Breathe fast 100 time then hold your breath.”
We both do.
Wow! A nice feeling of wagga wagga again. You know a lot Bobby.
The next Friday I go there again. “Come hang upside-down on the fence with me”, he says.
We do. The sky is down and the grass is up. The blood rushes to my head. Wow!
Mom and Dad say getting high is for adults. But all my friends say-
We can feel wagga wagga too.
