Reconnecting
Life is full of transitions.
Traditionally, in our very early years, we transition from spending a lot of time with our parents and guardians into a phase of life where we interact more with peers and authority figures.
This initial transition is followed by many more, and we make friends and connections along the way.
We’d all agree that it’s common to transition from primary school to middle school to high school. Maybe you then transitioned to a job or to more schooling. And you met some people who became friends along the way.
At how many of those transitions did you part ways with friends? Colleagues? Loved ones?
At how many of those transitions did you gain new friends, colleagues, and loved ones, yet the cycle continued?
Each time, did you imagine that you’d go for one, five, ten, or more years without reconnecting with people who mattered to you?
Did you stop and realize that you may not see them again, ever?
Personally, I was looking forward to reconnecting with classmates at a school reunion this year — but it’s postponed due to COVID-19.
This particular reunion (usually) occurs every five years, so do I wait for it to be rescheduled? Do I wait for the next one?
Reflecting on my educational and work transitions, and all of the fantastic people that I don’t interact with anymore, I decided to take action.
There’s just too many people that I want to reconnect with. I want to know how they’re doing. I sometimes see them on social media, but that’s a small snapshot of someone’s life. I miss the conversations.
So, I started a spreadsheet of contacts and drafted a few email templates. I set up a Calendly page, so that people could schedule meetings directly. I set Calendly up to automatically add a Zoom meeting, but I’ve used Zoom, phone, and Google Meet.
Then, I started somewhere in the spreadsheet and began reaching out, kicking off a virtual reunion.
It’s a slow process, since I go to LinkedIn for each person, customize the template, and reach out. I also follow up once, several days or more later, if I didn’t get a response.
Of course, every time I go to the spreadsheet, I regret not maintaining a CRM database for friends. Maybe that’s a startup idea — FRM, friend relationship management.
But, the process has been fantastic. Even with my clunky spreadsheet and methodology, I’ve spoken to friends in challenging roles, seen their kids happily playing in the background, and discussed more interesting topics than I had even hoped.
If this post inspires you to run your own virtual reunion, even if yours wasn’t recently canceled, or even if what you did doesn’t have formal reunions, then here’s a few helpful tips and data points.
- There’s no right priority to the list. Just start somewhere. Someone will blame you for not putting them on top, but on the flip-side, they could have put you on the top of a similar list.
- Manage your calendar. To give you some data points on call frequency — last week, I had 9 meetings, and I’m scheduled for 9 (edit — 12) more this coming week. Some may reschedule, and more may appear.
- Manage your time. I usually go for 30 minute calls, but those can run over. I haven’t had one end early, and one went on for north of two hours. It was great.
- Follow up. If you sent an email, text, instant message, postcard, or whatever, and you didn’t hear back, then send one more. At that point, people will respond or they won’t. Or you have the wrong contact info…
- Don’t take anything personally. It might not be the right time for them to reconnect — I limit my follow-up to one email, since I don’t want to add stress to what they may be dealing with — there’s always next time.
- Listen and enjoy the process. I can talk forever about me, and maybe you can do the same, but it’s not a contest. It’s not a sales call. It’s not a job request. It’s about getting back together. Who knows what may come out of the call, but just enjoy reconnecting!
- Connect people. Sometimes, I’ve speak to friends who are considering similar next steps, or who are in the same industry, or who could just enjoy talking to each other. I often facilitate those connections.
- Plan for the next one. I make notes about when we should connect again. I’ve connected with some people whom I haven’t seen in 10 years. That’s too long!
Good luck reconnecting!
Read more about my Virtual Reunion:
