Weeknotes #19 — They gave me a lamp
Last time it was ducks. This time it’s light.
I went to All Points East at the weekend — great music, fab weather and, cos it was in London, it was a festival with a hotel bed which is never not a bad thing for me nowadays. The always excellent Public Service Broadcasting played, including the song which nearly makes me cry — ‘ They gave me a lamp’. I’ve no direct history of mining or the strike in the 1980s. I was raised in home where Maggie T could do no wrong (I’ve changed since childhood) and, after moving to Sheffield years ago, I’ve been educated about the reality of what really happened. The words in the song are worth reading…
‘ If you could get the women into one, you could get them involved in one thing, you could see them in this other light…. politics is life….I didn’t see any reason why I shouldn’t be out there doing what I was doing’ by Margaret Donovan.
How does that relate to me and my life? Especially as, in many ways, I’ve found my contentment. My reasons from the last few weeks are this…
My last weeknotes mentioned helping to set up a Sheffield women in tech ‘group/collective/twitter account/or whatever it will become’. I wanted to get started quickly so tweeted this…
(Update: I stepped away from Sheffield Women in Tech in 2019 and no longer work with the group or look after the twitter account. I shared more on LinkedIn).
I purposefully didn't directly contact people I knew. Twelve people arrived and most didn’t know each other or had said hi on Twitter. We took that as a success (well — I did). It was (just? no it was more than that) a chat between people who had Sheffield and this thing called ‘tech’ in common. Topics ranged across lots of areas including what is ‘women in tech’ and how to help us all connect/network/meet-up better across the city.
Aside: If anyone knows how to talk about ‘introducing so-called-like-minded-people to each other’ in a non-naff/networking styley — please let me know as we didn’t quite succeed.
Despite all that and me going home happy, I pondered on what I’d said and not said throughout the evening which may have made anyone uncomfortable. It’s crap when that happens isn’t it? I felt responsible as I had thrown people together. I then received this and knew that, even if I had, it’s only ‘cos I’m human and, anyways, I’m not alone…
Aside from thinking no-one would turn up or the conversation wouldn’t flow I couldn’t see ‘any reason why I shouldn’t be out there doing what I was doing’ . Why wait? Why not me?
What else?
A Sheffield women in tech event has launched. It is a good thing.
It’s a collective effort and I’m running(ish) the Twitter account. What follows are my reflections only.
- Putting yourself out there can be uncomfortable. I may say something in a conversation, tweet, DM or email which later sits uncomfortably. That should be ok as, just like my weeknotes, each message will be taken as part of a larger picture?
If women are told to ignore the image of perfection which society apparently pushes their way — why can’t people be allowed to make mistakes in what they say, write or tweet? (Yeah, I know the response to mistakes is important).
Read this from John Hill, ‘It’s amazingly naive to assume that only bad people do bad things. We are all constantly saying and doing dumb things. That doesn’t make us terrible people’.
The background to John’s article can be found below from Thayer Prime. Read to the end then pause to think — and not just from your own perspective or experience.
I’m grateful to Thayer Prime for her response after seeing her tweets about this on the day (I wasn’t at the event) and her response afterwards. It is also brings new thoughts about the benefits of working in the open and thinking out loud.
2. It’s been a pleasure and an education to see how the @ShfWIT Twitter feed, messages and followers is starting to expand over the last couple of weeks. There’s more to do.
I was a feisty feminist from about 12, then much later became more inward looking — often for personal mental health reasons I’ve written a bit about before. I know now that ‘my feminism’ was (is?) insufficiently broad enough and that’s ok as I’m continuing to learn — sometimes from the content I retweet, including…
I remember being asked, cos I was ‘bright and organised’, if I wanted to be a secretary one day. Nothing wrong with working in a role like that — but really — is that the aspiration I should have heard as a young girl?
As Margaret says in ‘They gave me a lamp’, she saw other women being told, ‘you can’t come with us ’cause you’re a girl. And it made me damned determined to do it.’ That’s where I’m moving to again— wanting to help girls and women to not feel like they have to battle against whatever label society may put on them — unlike I did growing up. The label shouldn’t be there.
Sure, I’m only doing my bit by working in the open as much as I can, supporting local meet-ups, having conversations and re-tweeting content but it all adds up — right?
3. You can only look after and support others if you’re supported and you look after yourself. You can only help people fight their battles if you continue to work on your own. As I’ve written before, I’m in a good place and it’s gonna stay that way.
4. You can’t please everyone all the time, you’ll please some people some of the time and sometimes you’ll please no-one. I’’m ok with that. In fact, bring that on. I’ll only ever say I’m an expert in my own experience and will try to not use that to assess yours.
I’ve had comments that ‘women in tech’ isn’t a thing anymore and pitching events under that banner helps no-one.
I’ll be open here — I sometimes find the banner uncomfortable and it could be divisive BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT. Do your research.
I’ve been to women in tech events I’ve enjoyed and some I haven’t. Ditto for pubs I’ve visited and food I’ve tasted. In fact, ditto for everything. I aim to remember that most people are generally trying to do the right thing. This from Ellie Craven is good timing..
You may be thinking I’m crass comparing this with the experience of the wives of striking miners. Maybe I am.
But stood in a field last weekend, sun shining, cider in hand, watching people facing the same direction and listening to those words, I reckoned the world of tech would be a better place if we all aimed to be a bit more Margaret Donovan.
And finally…
Once again I’m ending with a sweet Sheffield note. I was enjoying the delights of Kelham Ireland when I heard the news about #repealedthe8th. Suffice to say I was a tad emotional. A stranger was so generous and bloody feisty in her response to me.
Don’t forget the kindness from strangers and don’t forget to provide it in return.
