The Privilege of Partnership: Recognizing the Benefits of Being in a Healthy Relationship
P.S. Single People Should Receive More Support and Respect
If I had been in a long-term, healthy and supportive relationship in my 20's, I’m sure my life would be better professionally, psychologically, socially, and financially.
This article points to 9 health benefits of being in a relationship based on several studies. A healthy partnership has a positive effect on happiness, longevity, aging, stress, mental health, pain, sleep, healing, and even heart health.
Even without digging into the research around the benefits of partnership, I know these things to be personally true after being in a relationship for nearly 7 years:
- A supportive partner could have helped me navigate my career more successfully. I’m fortunate to have someone now who can push me to reflect more deeply on my experience at work. With his support, I made a major career change that nearly doubled my highest income.
- I may have grieved the loss of my mother in a more healthy way. When my mother passed away, it was the most devastating experience of my life. I didn’t know how to grieve and didn’t have anyone to help me. It took me far longer to recover emotionally and psychologically than I imagined.
- I was fortunate to have that support when my father passed away. I was much more resilient when my father died. I was better able to emotionally handle my father’s loss because I had my partner by my side.
- Financially, I’m in a stronger position than I was when I was single. We’re not married but I benefit greatly from sharing all of our expenses including the biggest one: rent. I mentioned already how my income went up as well. I also now have a safety net that I didn’t before and I’m able to provide that for my partner in return.
- I’ve internalized my partner’s positive view of who I am. If you’ve struggled at all with any form of trauma, depression and/or anxiety, you know it’s challenging to maintain a positive view of yourself. I’m absurdly fortunate to have someone who tells me how much he loves me and how beautiful, strong, and inspiring he thinks I am all of the time.
- I understand who I am more. Related to the above, he sees my blind spots. He is my mirror. I am, and become, better because of him.
- He helps me see the importance of building a community. I was used to handling things on my own. He’s helped me see the value of connecting with more people and doing so on a deeper level. He encourages me to ask for help instead of always offering.
- I’m more motivated to stay healthy. When stress hits, it can be easy to overlook the importance of maintaining healthy habits like working out. He emphasizes how important it is for us to stick to a path that leads us to grow old without pain or illness. I also drink less.
- I communicate better. I didn’t have models for effective communication and emotional intelligence growing up. I’ve learned and grown a lot by being in my relationship.
When I hear people criticize others who live with roommates, it angers me. A partner is financially the equivalent of a roommate with even more benefits. It takes more work to survive and thrive without a good partner. I respect anyone who is single over anyone who is unhappy and unfulfilled in a vanity relationship.
During this global pandemic, I worry more about friends and others who are single. I’m fortunate to practice social distancing with someone I can meet a lot of my social needs with. While I still see friends and family thanks to technology, nothing can replace a hug from someone you love. I’m lucky.
This post is part of my WriteMarch series, a commitment to write daily for a month.
