Attending/Focus
The sensations of truth and/or cognitions that I am aware of at any given moment are those to which I attend.
Attention and Awareness
There is so much sensory and cognative information flowing through my sensory apparatuses and brain that I cannot focus on all of it. Information that catches my attention is information that I am aware of at present. My attention is mobile and fickle and is coordinated by parts of my brain. Within the vast amounts of information coming in through my senses and processing in my cognition, there is a huge multidimensional range in which my attention can maneuver to create the experience that I am aware of at each moment.
I am most aware of what I pay close attention to, but I also have a vague awareness of things that are in the periphery of my focus, and my focus can quickly move to something that was in the periphery if my attention is peaked toward a sensation, cognition, or action that appears more urgent for to me be aware of and attend to.
Limits to my attention/focus and Multiple Dimensions
Broad View vs Details: I cannot focus on the wings of a butterfly and also focus on the grandness of the landscape around me; I have to choose which to focus on while everything else goes on in my periphery. Yes, I can pay attention to the landscape and yes, the butterfly wings might be part of the landscape, but when I pay attention to the broad view of the landscape, I don’t see the details of the butterfly's wings or follow the pattern of its flight. There are many details that I miss when I focus on the broad view of the landscape. Similarly, when I focus on the wings of the butterfly, there are many broader parts of the truth in my vicinity that I am less aware of.
Interoceptions vs External Sensations: I am less aware of what goes on outside of me when I focus on interoceptions (sensations of what is going on inside me) Unless the sensations going on outside of me appear extremely urgent. For instance, if I have a terrible stomachache, it will be hard for me to enjoy a concert or a family gathering even if I want to pay attention to something other than my stomach pain. But, if suddenly there are bombs going off all around me, I may not be able to pay as much attention to the pain in my stomach; the pain moves to my periphery, and I pay more attention to sensations going on outside of me and cognitions about how I need to maneuver to survive.
Cognitions vs Sensations vs Actions: Due to the limitations of my attention I can only focus primarily on one of these three categories at a time. While I am typing this, I am mostly focused on my cognitions. In my periphery, I am typing, and there are sounds of a fly buzzing around my head, I can focus in on one of those experiences while everything else goes on in my periphery.
While I am typing, I can focus on my cognitions because I have a lot of experience typing. The action of typing is habitual for me, it’s on autopilot. I’m not really paying attention to the movements of my fingers unless I need to use a strange key that I cannot locate without paying attention to my fingers and the keyboard. In the case that I have to find a special key, my cognitions about what I’m writing go into my periphery and I pay closer attention to the keyboard.
That pesky fly keeps buzzing around and the sound of it pulls my attention away from my thoughts. I cannot focus on my thoughts and listen to that noisy fly at that same time. It keeps interrupting my thoughts. I want to get rid of the fly. I have to stop primarily thinking about what I am writing and switch my attention to my sensations of the fly so that I can locate it.
To catch and get rid of the fly requires action. Attending to action is like using a broad view of both sensations, cognitions, and movements: I have to use both sensations and cognitions to locate the fly and predict where it will go next. I then move my body in such a way that I anticipate that I will catch it. But, I cannot focus on the thoughts that I was typing about while I am trying to catch the fly, nor can I focus on other sensations that have nothing to do with the fly. Focused actions (that are not habitual) require that I pay attention to my movements and coordinate them with both my thoughts and sensations.
(There are two great books by Iain McGilchrist that discuss the science behind the limitations of the brain’s attention and its tendency to switch between broad truth seeking and detailed cognitions. His focus in these books is on the independent ways of attending of the right and left hemispheres, but they are applicable to what I’m discussing also. His books are “Master and His Emissary” and “Ways of Attending.”
Preferences and Focus
My focus and awareness often move from one thing to the next because of my preferences for and against things. For instance, when I want to catch a frisbee that is flying through the air. I’m primarily focused on predicting where the disc will end up, moving my body in a coordinated way at the right speed to arrive at the space in which I anticipate that I can catch the disk. A lot of that movement and coordination happens automatically without my attention- I don’t pay close attention to the way I move each muscle at each second, or my heartbeat, or breathing. But, that changes if my muscles, heart or lungs become too stressed for me to ignore; if I begin to experience pain, light headedness, or some other stress/negative affect, I may feel the need to pay less attention to the disk and attend to what ails me. However, if it is a big Ultimate Frisbee competition that I really don’t want to lose, I may feel inclined to put effort into putting the “negative affects” going on in my body into my periphery so that I can sacrifice my body for victory even if it means painful fatigued muscles or passing out. My preferences can steer my attention and awareness even in extremely stressful situations. My attention and preferences can’t push me beyond my physical limitations — I can’t run faster than my muscles and lungs will let me, and I can’t keep running after I’ve passed out, but by attending strongly to my preferences for giving my all in hopes of winning, I can push my preferences for self-preservation to the periphery temporarily, and push my body closer to, or even right up to its physical limits. When I push myself like this, I find that my physical limits are often beyond what I thought was possible. Preference can play a big role in what I attend to even when my body tries to give me urgent information about my suffering.
In situations where my preferences are not strong, I may be open to letting my attention wander in the vastness of truth. I can attend to a useless daydream, focus on a stray thought, or watch a bug crawl up a wall. If I have a strong preference for productivity, I will not stay long in that state. I will direct my focus toward what I cognize productivity to be — like work, or catching up on the news, fitness, or my finances… or if I have a strong preference for entertaining myself I might watch cat videos, play games, watch TV., use social media… I’ll get a lot of experience with what I find productive and entertaining, but not much experience of or appreciation for the truth beyond what I cognize productivity and entertainment to be.
I can also put effort into a type of meditative experience where my preferences is to not attend to specific thoughts or sensations. When I relax my focus, my awareness changes. In this type of meditation, I attempt not to attach myself to cognitions or sensations and instead I simply attempt to be present, or be aware in a very general non spacific way. This is challenging because I cannot stop my sensations or cognitions from occurring, and while meditating my attention wants to grasp them. I have to put effort into letting go of thoughts and sensations as they come to me without letting my attention attach to them. When my attention attaches to them I begin to think about them. I often begin to focus on thoughts without even noticing and later catch myself thinking about things for which I don’t have any preference for. I then label the thoughts as “thinking” and try to move away from them. It takes a lot of effort to not attach my attention to thoughts and sensations. It does appear to be a useful practice that helps one deal with distracting unwanted sensations and cognitions in everyday life. With better control of my attention, I can stay better focused on what I prefer to focus on at any given moment.
Conclusion
My attention is what I am aware of at present. Truth is immense. My sensory apparatuses only relay to me the information that they are equipped to receive, but still it is more that I can process. To add even more complexity, I also have awareness of pre cognitions and cognitions, and those incoming thoughts occur simultaneously with incoming sensations. With all of this information available to my awareness, most of it ends up in the periphery of my attention, and I am able to focus on a very limited amount of it. I have to pick and choose what is my primary focus. My preferences guide and sometimes compel me to focus on certain thoughts, sensations, or actions, or to attend to a broader view of things.