Rectifying today for tomorrow

#2. ‘Model’ Masculinity Vs. Traditional Masculinity; A Comparison

Helping men become the men of tomorrow

Joe Truax
6 min readJul 4, 2023
Men at peace vs traditional masculinity. Yes, there can be no peace with modern masculinity.

In the previous article, we compared what’s globally known as “toxic masculinity” to traditional masculinity. Modern masculinity — in all of its forms — are not acceptable forms of masculinity and only damage society. We could even call modern masculinity “damaged masculinity.”

In this article, we’re going to talk about the best kind of masculinity — the kind we really need in the world. I call it “model” masculinity, but you could also call it “real,” “true” or even “perfect” masculinity. By “perfect,” I don’t mean that someone has to be flawless. Instead, it’s about being the best version of a man you can be — kind, respectful, understanding, and much more. This is simply explaining what masculinity looks like in it’s purest form.

We’re also going to compare it to modern masculinity so that everyone can see the clear faults that lie in the fallacy that has always been called “masculinity.” By contrasting these two perspectives, we aim to illuminate the stark differences and highlight the need for change. Now, let’s delve into some of the traits that comprise this redefined, healthy version of masculinity.

Imagine a world without borders (those lines drawn by greedy powerful men), a world completely united in its thinking. Model masculinity has been defined and is lived by. What does it look like?

In a borderless, unified, PERFECT world, true masculinity would look like this:

1. Emotionally Open: Men would freely express their feelings and emotions without fear of judgment or ridicule. They’d communicate openly and honestly, showing vulnerability when necessary. This openness would enhance their emotional intelligence and empathy.

2. Respectful of All: Men would respect all individuals, irrespective of their gender, age, race, religion, sexual orientation, or any other differences. They would celebrate diversity and treat everyone as equals.

3. Empathetic: Men would be highly empathetic, understanding, and compassionate. They would value the emotions and experiences of others and respond with kindness and support.

4. Balanced Strength: Strength would not just be physical. Mental and emotional resilience would be equally valued. Men would understand that real strength involves standing up for what’s right, supporting others, and maintaining personal integrity.

5. Non-Violent: Aggression and violence would not be associated with masculinity. Instead, peaceful resolution of conflicts and respect for others’ physical and emotional boundaries would be the norm.

6. Emotionally Intelligent: Emotional intelligence would be a cornerstone of masculinity. Men would recognize, understand, and manage their own emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others.

7. Active Listeners: Men would listen attentively to understand, not just respond. They would appreciate the importance of listening in effective communication and building strong relationships.

8. Equitable: Men would advocate for and practice equality in all areas of life. They would reject traditional gender roles that restrict individuals’ rights or opportunities and share responsibilities fairly.

9. Self-Aware and Reflective: Men would be introspective and aware of their thoughts, feelings, and actions. They would learn from their experiences and continually strive for personal growth and improvement.

10. Supportive: Men would be supportive partners, friends, and family members. They’d provide emotional support and encouragement and be there for others in times of need.

In this perfect world, the definition of true masculinity wouldn’t be a narrow, rigid set of expectations but a broad spectrum of positive traits and behaviors. The emphasis would be on being a good human being, respectful and understanding, strong yet sensitive, and promoting a culture of equality and compassion. It transcends traditional stereotypes and norms, fostering attributes such as empathy, courage, respect, and emotional intelligence. It denotes an understanding of individuality and equality, inviting diverse experiences and perspectives.

To get the best understanding of how flawed modern masculinity is, lets compare 50 traits of modern masculinity to model masculinity:

1. Love: Traditional masculinity often associates love with weakness. In the newer definition, love is fundamental to human interaction and connection.
2. Empathy: Traditional masculinity might discourage men from expressing empathy to maintain toughness. In contrast, empathy in the new model is vital for emotional connections.
3. Respect: While respect is highly regarded in traditional masculinity, it often relates to one’s dominance or power. The new definition emphasizes mutual respect for all individuals, irrespective of differences.
4. Emotional Intelligence: Traditional masculinity often promotes emotional stoicism. The new model sees emotional intelligence as an essential skill for understanding and managing feelings.
5. Integrity: This trait remains consistent across both models; acting morally and honestly is always valued.
6. Confidence: Traditional masculinity often conflates confidence with dominance or aggression. In the new model, confidence is about self-belief and respect for others.
7. Courage: Courage in traditional masculinity might emphasize physical strength or aggression, while the newer model values moral courage and standing up for what’s right.
8. Adaptability: Traditional masculinity often values rigid roles and behaviors. In contrast, the new definition appreciates flexibility and adaptability to change.
9. Assertiveness: The traditional model might interpret assertiveness as dominance or aggression, whereas the new model promotes assertiveness that respects others’ boundaries.
10. Resilience: Both models value resilience, but traditional masculinity often discourages seeking help, while the new model recognizes that resilience can involve reaching out to others for support.
11. Accountability: Traditional masculinity can sometimes deflect accountability, while the new model explicitly values owning up to one’s actions.
12. Humility: Traditionally, humility might be seen as a sign of weakness. The new model recognizes humility as a strength.
13. Kindness: Traditional masculinity might see kindness as soft or weak. The new model values kindness as a sign of strength and compassion.
14. Patience: Traditional masculinity might favor quick, decisive action, while the newer definition values patience and deliberation.
15. Optimism: Both models value optimism, although traditional masculinity might connect it more with individual achievement, while the new model values a broader, more inclusive optimism.
16. Self-Control: Traditional masculinity values self-control, but it often manifests as emotional suppression. The new model encourages managing emotions healthily.
17. Ambition: Ambition is valued in both models. However, the new model encourages ambition that doesn’t harm others or compromise one’s values.
18. Fairness: Traditional masculinity may value competitiveness over fairness. The new model prioritizes treating everyone equally.
19. Curiosity: Both models can value curiosity, but traditional masculinity might limit it within gender-stereotyped areas, while the new model encourages curiosity across all fields.
20. Discipline: Traditional masculinity values discipline, often linked to toughness or endurance. The new model promotes discipline that also includes self-care.

I’m going to end the list there, but here are 30 more examples if you are interested in reading more.

These comparisons highlight how the traditional concept of masculinity can sometimes be limiting or harmful, while a newer, more inclusive definition promotes healthier and more balanced traits. This list is by no means exhaustive, but rather, is to be used as a baseline for understanding.

Men have been living a lie. It’s time for better.

I’m getting tired of this selfish world; are you as well? Capitalism pits men against men, nationalism pits men against men, modern masculinity pits men against men, Andrew Tate/Jordan Peterson/Mainstream media pit men against men, misogyny/misandry are exhausting, men and women are killing themselves at alarming rates, relationships and marriages are failing left and right, and although the world is advancing technologically at a rate unheard of, the quality of life across the planet is degrading. This world is failing future generations and needs to turn around right now. We can’t wait any longer.

Please help what I’m doing get the attention of those interested in elevating changemakers. The time to start altering the current course of history is now. Until then, until I’m noticed and the media puts me and my thoughts front and center, I’m going to continue my journey of educating.

The next article helps men understand what growing up as a woman — through the eyes of an empathic man — looks like. That article will help men know why feminine toxicity exists.

Thank you for reading. I’m Joe and, as always, check out r/GuyCry. We are carving our own little niche into society and being the change we all want to see. Come join us.



Joe Truax

I lead an anti-misogynistic loving and kind 38,000 member men's mental health movement. My about section here says sooooo much about my mindset.